Eating disorder recovery isnt working!! :'( help please

Keep going strong Casie! behind you all the way xx

Dont give up remember, we talked about this. No matter how hard it is, show it that you are stronger. Been there myself and it is really hard, i know that. Its easier to say "i'm gonna get better" than it is to actually act on it. Eat the things you really like! Even if its just them few things all the time (i understand you cant always ahah), because its food and calories and that way you wont be so tired and have no energy. You can do it!! I've spoke to you on direct message and you are a nice girl Eat little and often, even when you dont want to because after a while you will realise that even though you hate eating it at the time youll feel so much better for it. I was in the exact same boat around 9 months ago. And i also know you have a boyfriend, cos you told me hehe Dont bottle things up and talk to him about it, its the best thing to do. And if you cant, you know im here for anything at any time. I mean, I have my gcse's too so if i dont reply quickly you know why it can be done casie! I promise you xx

Well done for getting through 7 months of recovery already. I can really hear in your post how you are really putting in lots of energy to fight off the eating disorder. Well done on getting the 1000 cals you do get in. It sounds like you're under a lot of pressure at the moment with exams and with wanting to just be rid of the eating disorder. Recovery is a fight sometimes - is there anyone you can talk to about what you're going through? It will get easier - I think that posting here and asking for help shows that you have courage and I have a lot of respect for your genuine wish to recover. The tricky thing is that to recover takes energy - mental and emotional strength, and we need to eat and nourish ourselves to have that energy - this is where it can become very frustrating and a catch-22 situation. Keep fighting and keep asking for support, sending you good wishes, Maria

It sounds like everyone here has provided some solid advice.

There is one point that I'd really like to drum in though. I was hospitalised during my A levels, and I rushed my treatment because I wanted to get back into school and do my exams, go off to university and stick to all my life plans.

My consultant told me that I wasn't ready, and I'd not finished the programme.

There was nothing she could do, as when I discharged myself, I was 18, and my health wasn't in danger. But she was right and I relapsed a year later, and much more severely in 2012.  I found it much harder to access treatment in 2012 through the NHS and yet at that point I felt I needed it more, and was desperate for help.

You don't want to hear this right now, but you don't have to do your GCSEs right now.

They are no where near as important as you getting better.

If you have to take your GCSEs next year or the year after, when you come to apply for jobs and people ask about the gaps in employment, it's a lot easier to explain that you were ill and you took the opportunity to work through the difficulties then, than having to return to treatment mid-employment and be signed off work.

I appreciate that it is hard to contemplate this...and it may be you are stronger than I was and overcome things quicker than I did - but the best advice I can give is put your health first. If you haven't sorted that, you've got the rest of your life to take exams, make decisions and take up other opportunities, and you'll probably be better for it too!