Effect on relationships

Hi! I am sixty-three and had a hysterectomy fifteen years ago. I was told at first I could not have H.R.T. because of medical history. I eventually had to see my doctor as my joints were giving me such pain. She referred me to a Specialist who put me on H.R.T. which certainly gave me my life back. I also started experiencing dryness and pain on intercourse and was recommended Vagifem this certainly seemed to work while taking it.

About four years ago my G.P. said I had to come off the patch and I have subsequently ended up feeling extremely uncomfortable and bleeding. I saw a doctor about this, last year, but he went completely off on the wrong track, understandably as I have had kidney operations in the past.

Like you! it became so bad to have intercourse as the stinging was dreadful and not doing a lot for what has been a very happy marriage and sex life.I was also experiencing bladder weakness which goes along with this condition

I found this site by accident just over a week ago and found out for myself what I was suffering from.

It does upset me to know that so many of us over fifty and sixty are suffering like this through lack of information.

I went and saw the Practice Nurse at our surgery and asked to be put on the Estring which lasts for three months. I am aware of the problems that all H.R.T. can cause but still want to use it.

I would rather have a normal life and a short one than put up with misery with a long one.

If I were you I would ask at your Wellwoman Clinic about this Estring as unlike the Vagifem you do not have to remember to insert it twice a week.

I do hope you get back to normal relations with your husband and feel a lot better in yourself.

Hello Ladies,

I am 53 and I have lived with vaginismus for too many years. I just wasnt aware it was a disease and that there were ways to fight it. It took me again a bit of time to overcome vaginismus... but I DID IT! I suffered

so much from it, I have seen my partners and my family suffer as well, so once i felt better, i decided to

share my story hoping it could help some women.

It is a way as well for me to thank Velvi, the association which helped me overcome this disease. Withouth the members of Velvi, I do not know what I would have done. I found their website by chance (I think they are based in Europe but help people all over the world) and I recommend to all the women (and men) suffering from vaginismus to contact them. They answer very fast and they have a large amount of testimonies and tips to fight vaginismus. Besides, all the material is free on their website when you usually have to buy books and CDs on certain companies' websites to follow their program. With Velvis method, the only thing you need to purchase it their Velvi Kit of dilators (very reasonable price compared to what I have seen on the internet). It took me three months to overcome vaginismus thanks to Velvi Kit but more imprtant, thanks to the Velvi community. I encourage any person suffering from vaginismus to shoot them an email for help. They're amazing people and great listener

I am very willing to share about my experience if it can help. Just let me know if you have any question.

Liz

Oh dear....Poor you. I am 63. many problems with my vagina post menopause. I am in a lovely new relationship and it isa balancing act to keep my vagina healthy. Glad you found the site. Sharing helps so much My gynaecologist suggested a sex therapist but I said that is Not the problem. I am like you I want to have sex. The problem is ageing vaginas. I have thought our bodies are not built to last after child bearing years. Trouble is we are so fit in many other ways.

Hello! I can completely relate to your problem. I have found that, provided your partner is relaxed and supportive, that enjoying extensive foreplay, which most woman love and then giving him full satisfaction without penetrating sex can be fabulous for both of you. The stimulating ways are only limited by your imagination and interests.Penetration is not the Big Deal it is made out to be in the media. There are many people who have all sorts of physical barriers that still have an active and rewarding sex life. Relax, enjoy yourself, put on beautiful music, have a bath, lubricate your bodies  with essential oils or olive oil. Be free!

My husband shut down due to heart problems and fear of death many years ago but I'm still have a great time despite my pain - it actually takes my mind off all the problems. Besides, I'm having sex with my best friend - ME!!!

Hope this helps,

Lulu

Hi ive just read your comments and wanted to say i fully understand what your going through, i was put on the vagifem and used for about eight months, had to stop due to bleeding and ended up with a scan to see if the lining of my womb had become thickened, luckily it hadnt, i was adviced to keep og going back to vagifem but offered nothing else instead. becoming dried up which also affects the bladder as well is no fun and as you say affects relationships, im sure they think we are just becoming sexless, nothing to do with it, we just cant stand the pain. any advice from any woman who has actually found a good alternative please do let us know.