Elleste Duet

Thanks for replying,  Thats me, i even verbally attacked one of my work collegues and had her in tears!!! sooooo not me, even wen im in a mood! I was very lucky not to have a grievance put in against me, its only cos shes older and understands what im going through it didnt happen.

My annoyance comes from these Drs knowing the side effects, and still prescribing, my Dr in particular has my records, knows my history, and i even raised a concern that should i be given something that may cause feelings i fight daily to control anyway x I cant even take anti-depressants for the same reasons im thinking of just doing the white til i get an appoint, or looking for an oestrogen only herbal alternative n stuff the long term possibilities, lets face it if i have to go through that every 2 weeks then i dont want to live anyway x Hope the femoston have good results for u x Appointment being booked 1st thing Monday morning xxx

Yr welcome, if it makes you feel better, I also could not take anti depressions as they made me suicidle and worse !!!!  And I have struggled with up and down emotions and moodiness before all this started , but I will verbally attack anyone, I have abused people working on a till in a shop !! ?? In the car ?? With my grandson in shops ?? I wouldn't even let the workman in and screamed at them your not coming in !! I don't know how I have got away with all the things I have recently done and said, and I'm no stranger to mood swings but this is out of my comfort zone.  I had to decide what was worse ,  and I can never go back to how I was before hrt, I had every symptom u can possibly get !! I could not function, had no life at all. My only regret is waiting 3 weeks to see my doctor, I won't ale the same mistake again, if I show any signs of that happening when I start my grey tablets on the femoston which are similar to the green I will be straight down there,as I completely agree with the dr should be aware of what are personalities are like before they subscribe , and my doctor admitted that the green are well known for having that affect as some women don't agree with pogestoterone, unfortunately they don't know which women, it's all trial and error, but one I am willing to go threw just for normality again, a quality of life,, I can't tell another women wether to stop taking the hrt they are on but. What I did notice is reading your post was like listening to myself,,and I felt for you and understand,and my advice would be, don't give up on finding the right one but do get back down your doctors straight away, I now the femoston use a different pogestoterone and is much kinder ?? ,let me know how you get on, ,x

thanks Julie, after having  'normality' of life back on the white, (not felt normal or happy in about 6 yrs) i want that n i will go to dr n say that, living in a 'rock bottom' world for so many yrs it showed me that that person was still there n i want to be that person again. I opted for HRT as i have a 15yr old with adhd, autism & diabetes, work shifts & my husband has his own business, the only support we have is from my older daughter who cleans once a week for me and also takes her brother once a month overnight, she has her own job and children, we also get an outreach worker 4hrs a week to take him out. Everything has to be fought for and i regularly do a nightshift then a 3hr meeting with this one that one or the other one, or do early morning appoints then a late shift, my dayshifts i was getting up at 3am with sweats after a couple hrs sleep n i just couldnt continue. recently iv joined the gym with my son as care team believe hes craving my attention, so more financial costs means have to take all the overtime i can get, but ill do anything to get him the help he needs/deserves, the white gives me the energy to 'be nice' xxx Only last week wen i was on the green did he say 'iv some cable ties upstairs ill wrap them round ya neck n pull' in a normal state i could have coped and told myself he didnt mean it etc etc etc on the greens i screamed n shouted n made a silly comment into something much bigger, not good for him or his low self asteem and anxieties x Sorry i dont mean to sound like im wineging n dont say it cos i want sympathy (when i self harm im accused of this cos i tell people, i tell cos i dont wanna do it n so people can perhaps see the signs n step in)

I really do appreciate you taking time to reply, it means im not mad!!!!  xxx

Omg, , we are so alike, ,,I know what you going threw, and unless somebody else can say they are going threw or have been threw exactly the same thing then I don't want their advice, their sympathy it's patronizing,  I too have a 14 year old with several heart defects on medication to keep him alive , I have to fight to get any kind of help, no family no friends, ,I have a partner who is supportive but doesn't understand, ,I have also been unhappy. For many years, been told I'm depressed etc, because I also self harm, I have for a long time but to many I'm a attention seeker yet I always ask for help, , I know everything there is to bou self harm, crying out for attention, the doctors never try to stop me ?? They accept its me, I don't,  I want t be normal and nice both of which I'm not,  well I am much better on the white tablets to be honest, ,I sympathies so much and I am glad somebody out ther I can relate to, it's not just me! I hope you haave a good doctor as I went threw 5 in my surgery and was giving up, I was taking lists of my symptoms and moods etc, but told depressed , no one would listen ,but I know all bou depression I spent years like it, this doctor believes me, he believes I know myself better than anyone he believes me when I say I am a monster, that my kids and partner don't recognize me that I shout at them constantly he believes me when I tell him straight away that I'm worse, and because he believes me he can treat me and help, I won't stop until I get better , because if I do I won't be here, because its a living hell,,you have to do it for your son but yourself also, we deserve a life and normality and to be happy, I never believed that but now I do, , if anything it's worse for us because we already dealing with our children and responsibilities so we need it more, I can tell your struggling because I am too, you have to tell your doctor and get some normality back for you all, ,,,we have every right to whinge , we need help we ask for it but we still living a nightmare, , ,,the white tablets saved my life really just got to hope now the grey ones will do the same, then I'm not looking back,, ,your son needs you just like mine and we are no good to them like we are now, xx

hi

Hit the drink again, what an awful nasty monster! Got my period today so hopefully thatll take some pressure, anger n weight away x this is my final final straw x

hi, how u doing on the grey?

I had my appoint yesterday n she tried to blame the white for weight gain, looked like she smirking n dismissed the connection with the green, insisting i had to have it, never mentioned diff types of progesterone etc, she said could fit marina coil n i said no cos if had any bother i couldnt just come off it, said i wasnt prepared to put myself or my family through it to protect me from somik that i wouldnt b here to get should i continue with the progesterone. so im not allowed any!! Im allowed it after iv not had a period for 12mths, so only 7 to go lol I have an appoint with a dr at practice that specialises in HRT and in meantime i will continue with the white, against advice, and can get them via internet anyway lol Iv found me n im not giving that up for nothing xxx

hi x good luck on the grey x  Mayb this new dr will have the right way for me to go, but itll take a lot of persuading x