Embarrassment, degradation and lack of support

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Titch I am so sorry to hear that you have been left without any support. In theory there should be a whole team of folk that can help you..from the continence nurse to specialist physios. I became incontinent after the birth of my 3rd child 8 + years ago aged 34 and since then I have had 6 surgeries. Still far from perfect. Go back to your GP if you are comfortable with that and tell him/her exactly how you feel. There are many ways of managing this problem from bowel wash outs through to a colostomy. (my friend has one and her life had been transformed) I have been trying out SNS interstim therapy for the last two years..not right yet but many people have been considerably improved by it. Maybe there is a centre near you offering this therapy. Be very clear about how you feel and that you need help :!: :!: Put it in writing to your consultant and GP..they have to act on it. Good luck M

Hi,

I am the very same. I could be at the checkout and the next thing I know I am 'crapping' myself. I have to glance down and hope I have a dark coloured thousers and long jacket on. Even going out for a walk, I have to wear long trousers and always bring an old jacket etc. It is very demoralising. I even keep a change of clothes in the boot of the car.

I had radiotherapy 20 years ago for cervical cancer and it has damaged both the bowel wall and the bladder.

It is hard to live with but, I my case, when I think of the alternative I just have to try and accept it.

Hope you get some sort of treatment to help you, seemingly I cant even have an operation because of the damage.

Rgds

I am 57 year old midwife, and also suffer from this debilitating condition. Only my family and closest friends know, and even then, not to the full extent. I havent been away from home on a holiday or overnight stay for years, I worry too much about getting caught out!!! Every journey no matter how short , the route has to be thought out in terms of toilet stops.

For a really important event for instance my daughters wedding, I took 4 imodium the night before and four on the morning of the wedding. They sometimes work sometimes not.

I have been to see a consultant and continence advisor, but they didnt tell me anything I hadnt already researched myself.

Surgery has been suggested but no guarnatee of success, I am not keen to push myself into something that may or may not work.

I rarely go out for walks or in the countryside, I can only go to places that have toiets. I have lilke the other poster, found myself in the queue at the supermarket and not making it in time to the toilet! I also suffer recurrent UTI's as a result of faecal contamination.

I try not to let it impact on my work, but cant help feel down and emotional. My surgeon put it down to too many children ( 4) associated with difficult delivery.

I sincerely hope you get treatment, what will suit you may not suit me, so dont be put of by my lack of improvement. Everyone is an individual, and respond differently to various types of treatments. Please go back and speak to your doctor or practice nurse, and ask for a referral to a gastoenterologist.

Stay strong, I truly empathise,

God Bless

Eve

I've found that there are some really helpful forums out there for people with incontinence - luckily mine has massively improved but i found some really helpful people on these forums - I will try and find the links for them in my email.

You say you can't go shopping and stuff like that - Don't let it stop you! Its horrible to do... but there are some pretty good incontinence supplies out there including nappies. I'm 22 and had to stop wearing my skinny jeans so i could wear nappies BUT with the right trousers (jeans) they are unnoticeable and if you do have a mishap you can pass it off as a very 'wet' fart and go to the toilets. I have done this a few times. Its horrible putting on the nappies and embarrassing BUT its less embarrassing than losing control in the middle of a supermarket and wanting a hole to swallow you up - it means you can have you life back.

Someone on one of the forums explained this to me when i became a little hermit aged 20 so i'm passing it on to you x

I still use pads for urinary incontinence and find its quite expensive - but this seems to be the cheapest place I have found and more discrete than other places such as amazon that will post up adverts and 'suggested items' next time you log on todo with the incontinence items you have bought - highly embarrassing when you have people looking over your shoulder.

Good luck getting this sorted but I hope i have shown you that there are things that can help a little bit - keep your chin up

EmisModerator comment: I have removed the direct link as it was to a selling site which we don't publish. If anyone does want to have the link please use the private messaging service.