Emotional stress from living with pain! please share your story.

Posted , 7 users are following.

I am reading about so many people suffering from this pain, its so disheartening ! sad i am too in the same boat, but up until this point i did not know that this pain might last forever!! and instead of focusing on a cure i will have to focus on the management of it? I am 33 and have a possible bulgin disc on my lower back, have not had MRI yet, just xrays, but it has been 7 months with pain, sometimes gets better and sometimes gets worst, it is preventing me from working, i am a jeweller and sit down on my bench for hrs a day ;( i love what i do and this is now getting in the way of it ;( for months I have not being as productive as i need to be in order to even be able to pay bills and daily expenses... my partner complains about my back complaints and its so unsuportive, he does not understand the level of my pain... its been rough. i feel very alone most of the time sad the realization that i might have to live with this is deeeply painful, I am scared to share it with my partner as I know he will think I am doing it to get attention or sympathy ;( ... sleeping is painful, standing is painful, sitting is extremely painful, the pain spreads as other muscles get tight, the tratements are so costly i cannot afford it! The situation is so emotionally stressfull. Reading some of the stories in this forum made me realize I am not alone though, and i can see many ppl managing and keeping their heads up. I admire you all so much. Thank you for sharing your stories smile

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  • Posted

    Hi Anagabi, I'm so sorry that you are suffering so much. I cannot begin to understand your pain, but I can sympathize knowing how I was affected by the two prolapsed discs I had. It took a year and four months of what you have described before the Dr's decided an operation might be a last resort answer for me. I had to go through physio, various painkillers before being referred for an MRI scan that I had been asking for from the start. Even after this Dr's tried me on three different types of nerve inhibitor tablets. None of these did any more than take the edge off the pain. They tried a nerve root block injection which helped for around a week. This led the Dr's to the decision that operating might be successful. I am roughly 8 weeks post op and I have to say that a day after my op all the leg pain and numbness had gone. It was an amazing feeling. Yes I was in pain from the actual operation, but I knew that would be temporary. I can honestly say that I've had no leg pain since the day after my op. My scars are healing well and I'm walking around 6 miles a day on average. I know it may not seem like it at the moment, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Try and keep going and stay as positive as you can.
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  • Posted

    Hi Anagabi, I read your story and I really feel for you, especiallly as you have an unsupportive partner, that must be very hard. I have 3 slipped discs, and now have to learn to manage the pain daily. A cheap treatment that may help is meditation for pain relief. Look up second hand books in Amazon. It calms your mind and will help with the stress you are also going through. It does help to know that you are not alone. Thinking of you and hope you find some help. Xx
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  • Posted

    Hi anagabi

    firstly I strongly think you should have already been mri d

    i don't know what pain relief you are on I'm 8 weeks after spinal fusion,my meds are amitryptline,diazepam at night dihydrocodeine paracetamol,was also on oromorph now that is only now and again

    i know I dactyl where u r coming from with not being able to work with it,I was nursing,and did 40 years(unfortunately I didn't have the same in pension,but I have been now given ill health retirement(still waiting arrival.

    My husband has been really supportive,I'm sure if your partner realised he should b too.

    i sleep in my daughters old bedroom,as I toss and turn all night,and that's actually better for my hubbie too as he snores like mad.

    are u uk

    if u haven't yet seen a spinal surgeon,if u can afford £150 u can see one privately at a Nuffield and then ask to b transferred to NHS for Mari and all else,they do that no probs.

    have u applied for any benefits because if u can't work still have bills to pay,if u r in uk see if u can get ESA  and if your walking etc is really bad and you need your partner to help you with daily tasks washing dressing etc you may qualify for PIP

    Keep strong and keep in touch,this is such a supportive site,even if you can't talk to your partner there are always lots of friends on here to support youx

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  • Posted

    I am so sorry for all that you're going through. I joined this site as a parent of a teenage child suffering from back problems and back pain. And the struggle is so very real and I'm so sorry you are not getting the proper support from your partner. My daughter has been dealing with the pain since she was 14. Most doctors and adults are very surprised and always ask "what did you do? what happened?" But no specific thing caused her herniated disk (L4/L5) and sciatica, she just unfortunately has one very bad disk. And certainly her teenage peers don't understand and are unsupportive as a result. Her pain got so bad that she had to be declared "homebound" for school because it was impossible for her to sit for hours on end in her classes. She was mentally and emotionally beaten down from too much pain for too long, and now attends regular counseling and is taking an antidepressent. She had surgery in March and is doing okay, certainly less pain than prior to the surgery, but her doctor told her that she'll always have some pain so sadly it is about ongoing pain management at this point. But because she is treating the mental and emotional aspects, she is feeling more positive about her situation now than just a few months ago. She takes low dose of Lyrica 2 times a day because of residual numbness and nerve pain from when the sciatica was at its worst, but other than that she is mostly taking just Advil when she starts hurting a little. She'll resort to taking hydrocodone only as needed for particularly bad days of pain (which usually happens if she's tried to do too much), but as her mother I'm thrilled she's been able to reduce her need of prescription pain medications.

    I hope you get the proper medical attention you deserve. I'm surprised that after 7 months they still haven't done an MRI, which was such a critical part in my daughter's diagnosis and treatment. She received steriod injections multiple times during a 2 year period, but those became less and less helpful as the herniation and sciatica got worse. And I totally encourage you to seek pain management and counseling. And I hope your partner comes around to understanding what you're going through, it helps to have support.

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  • Posted

    Thank you so much everyone for the supportive words and stories shared! Ive been reading throghout the week and it really did help on keeping myself positive smile Thank you!! I was finally refered to a specialist and he finally ask for a MRI to be done, so will have that by next week and know exactly what is happening to me! My partner has now finally come around and being understading, that is helping so so much with the emotional side of things smile

    Alison57949, am so happy to hear that surgery worked for you! I did read some cases where not even surgery worked! Are you off medication now or still have to take anything for long term? The doctor told me yesterday that surgery would be a last resource after trying everything else, but i dont know what scares me more, the thought of living with chronic pain or back surgery? But i think the though of the need to be on prescription medicine for a long time is very very concerning to me.

    Thanks Buddhamum smile I actually have started meditating 10 minutes a day in the mornings and it does help a lot with the streess and emotional rollercoaster!! I have not heard about meditation for pain relief? I will look that up! is that a type of guided meditation? 

    Ellen82139, thank you for all the info! I have actually been thinking of applying for some sort of financial support program, I am in Australia so its a lil different, but I am sure they might have something! It would help tremendously!!! The stress of not being able to make ends meet adds hugely to the stress of having pain all day everyday, sometimes i think I am gonna have some sort of nervous breakdown rolleyes but in the end i know I just have to keep positive and keep going!! My GP prescribed me lyrica and I did take it for 1 day but it made me so drowsy the other day i decided not to take it anymore, the doctor i went yesterday, the spine specialist prescribed me Tramadol, and i took 1 last night and will never ever take it again!!! I will start another tread about this because i am curious to know if anything experienced the same thing? I almost went to the hospital as i though i was having some allergie reaction? it was awful!! I am still feeling the effects of it and it is now 4pm next day. My body rejects most medication very strogly :p 

    Christine14678, my gosh, it must be so though for her at such a young age sad I am so sorry to hear that! The spine doctor told me yesterday that even though disc pathologies are more common for older people, there is an incresing number of teenagers suffering from it too! I was so surprised! I cannot imagine someone so young being able to cope with such an emotional stress, i truly admire her for being able to come around like that smile it must be very hard for you too to go through seeing your child suffering, but i think finding the right people to help you and her makes all the difference! The specialist I started seeing said after my MRI he will refer me to a pain management program, which includes daily exercises I can do to help, and also counselling and connecting with people who are going through the same thing, I am already feeling better that I am on a positive track, other than feeling sorry for myself as i was last week sad it is was a lonely place to be!

    Thank you so much everyone once again!! the support really is priceless!! smile thank you.

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  • Posted


    Good that you are finally being sent for an mri, I sympathise with your months of suffering.

    I have been having back pain since November too, eventually was given mri but initially was told there was just wear and tear in my lower back. I asked for a second opinion and was then informed that I have a hiernated disc and arthritis in my lower back.

    I am due to have steriod and anti inflammatory injection in 2 weeks so am really hoping that it will give me some relief as the pain is continius. I was taking codeine based pain relief but after few months it wasnt having much effect so was prescribed tramodol which just made me feel very high (personally i hated it and also felt sick) at this point i decided to stop taking all meds as was in constant pain so meds obv weren't working. As if i didn't have enough to be dealing with I'm become dependent on the codeine after taking

    It for previous 4-5 months. I am now taking no pain relief but have found using tens machine helps to take the edge of the pain.

    As well as continual back pain, i am now getting awful cramping in top of my left leg/hip and going up/down my leg.

    Hope you get some answers soon!

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  • Posted

    Its such a shame you have been left without an mri for so long, but finally it's coming. Hopefully they can help you when they see what exactly is going on and where. I've had ongoing problems since i was 17, I was always told it was a slight curve in my spine, finally in December last year (age 25) the pain got so much they said it was sciatica. I ended up immobile in February this year and had surgery in april due to having all other options available and no relief. There are a few things that I found helped slightly in the meantime, position was so important since I couldn't walk accept to the toilet (which unfortunately I didn't always make it to) try and curl your knees under you on your front, it was the only way I could stay for 2 months. A tens machine also helped my immensely, it took the edge off and meant I wasn't taking so much oramorph. Unfortunately the pain seems to be coming back but I'm hoping it's just a blip in my recovery. How do you feel about surgery? Is it something you would consider if all else fails? Walking in the water is really good to help build up your core strength of that's something you can do?
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