emotionally and mentally drained just want to end it
Posted , 5 users are following.
i swear to god this is the worst iv ever felt mentally feel completely drained mentally and emotionally everytime i try talking to my boyfriend he just starts an argument and says whys it always about you why never me i ask him daily how he is how he fes and if hes happy but when i tell him how im feeling instantly im like his ex i honestly dont know how much more i can take im physically on the edge my birthday today and all iv done is cry all day my 9 year old daughter must of heard me crying to myself she wrapped one of her teddies up in a piece of paper from her magazine fetched it down to me with tears rolling down her face " mummy im sorry i couldnt get you a gift " my heart sank made me feel even worse like i failed my kids uf she wasnt laid in bed next to me asleep i would of already taken every tablet i have in this house probably wouldnt be here writing this now dont think iv ever felt this lonely heartbroken and lost
1 like, 3 replies
jan34534 michelle8554
Edited
Michelle I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I wish you had had a better birthday but I still want to wish you a Happy Birthday.
What you wrote about your daughter brought me to tears. For her to wrap up her teddy bear like that and give it to you with tears is so incredibly heartwarming. It shows how much she loves you and she did everything she could to give you something for your birthday.
No, you did not fail your children. your daughter has so much goodness in her heart and that is something that came from you. i’m sure you love her very much and would do anything you could for her.
I would always put my children first about anything or anybody else. Boyfriends can come and go but your children are forever. Make sure that they are safe and secure.
for your sake and for their sake, you must take care of yourself. children have a way of blaming themselves when their mothers are not around anymore. It affects them for the rest of their lives believe me! I used to counsel children and you wouldn’t believe the heartbreak and the self blaming that goes on for these poor children. let alone the grieving. It messes up their whole life.
it would really be helpful if you got some support right now for what you are going through. Have you thought of counseling? There’s all kinds of help out there. There’s financial help, emotional help, etc
Fight for your children and yourself! Things can definitely get better. Never ever ever give up especially when you have children. They need you. They love you dearly. they wouldn’t care if they lost everything as long as they had their mommy.
plus, you could set a wonderful example for them about not giving up and pushing forward and refusing to be defeated!
sorry this is long but I just wanted to share with you. Please get some support. ❤
nicholas47120 michelle8554
Edited
I see this all the time. I have friends that stay with their toxic spouses and wind up worse for it. I've wanted to end it for the past 8 years, but even if you think there's no reason to live, there's no reason to die either. Life might get better for you, and it might not. But there's always the chance that it will despite the difficulties. Are you reliant on your boyfriend to the point where you couldn't afford somewhere to live? Getting rid of anything toxic in your life is a good start.
As much as I'd like to say I'm following my own advice, my own situation is far beyond my control. Maybe yours is too, but if it isn't you should try to do what you can to fix it little by little.
I know this may not have helped (words seldom do), but hopefully we can help you figure out you options and get you to a place where you're not feeling as bad as you are right now. If I can do anything to help, I will. In the meantime, look at your little girl and be happy. She wouldn't want you to take your own life nor live without her mom.
sam18386 michelle8554
Posted
firstly big hugs. secondly, what do you want to end? thirdly - why is your husband being so mean? maybe this needs to change????