Posted , 3 users are following.
Some of you have seen me slope in and out of the room here and there over the years fearful and aware of my overindulgence of alcohol.
My drinking was for the most of an evening when the kids went to bed, it started out as an avoidance to go to bed with a long term abusive partner and slowly but surely the doubles turned into trebles and I reached a point where I was drinking half a bottle of vodka sometimes more if I was really p****d off about the s****y life I was bestowing upon myself by not just getting rid of the leech in my bed, I can see now it was ridiculous.. my intentions were all good.. the kids need their daddy... they didn’t. They needed their sober happy mummy. I didn’t abuse alcohol during the day just of a night, and when I finally did get rid of the fool I was left with the bottle. And unbeknownst to me I wanted it, I couldn’t sleep without it.
I knew I should stop but it was really difficult, I know now for a FACT that it was absolutely nothing physical and it was just a mental thing, I could have simply stopped drinking and never drank again.. Infact that’s exactly what I did. here’s how I did it.
I began to feel increasingly unwell, lethargic, nauseous, nose bleeds and chronic stomach and toilet issues.
I got that bad I couldn’t even have a sip of a drink let alone get drunk, one day my legs swelled up to double their normal size, I thought they were going to explode. I collapsed then after I went to the doctors and she sent me immediately to the hospital. I was a bit spaced out being put on all sorts of drips and wires etc and I was terrified they told me the following day I had end phase cirrhosis of the liver and if I drank again I’d be dead in 2 years.
I have not touched a drop since, no detox no meds nothing.. just the barefaced truth.. alcohol kills. Who knew ( oddly enough it never crossed my mind once during my drinking career)
So this is kind of a 2in1 discussion.
What I have just told you is for people who think they can’t stop drinking for whatever reason/obstacle/excuse. You can, just don’t do it anymore or you’ll die it really is that simple.
The next part is for myself really, I was wondering is there anyone here who has cirrhosis? I’m 2 years sober and not ready for the transplant list yet even though I’ve had my transplant evaluation week, even though the transplant is inevitable my liver is deemed currently ‘ working with limited capacity but working enough’
I’m worried obviously and I’ve changed everything, my diet is healthy and I try to put the majority of good fuel in with the odd cheeky Chinese, I’d like to speak with pre-transplant and post transplant patients. I’ve never had a conversation with anyone in the 2 years that I’ve known and all the doctors have to say is ‘ we don’t have a crystal ball’ 🔮
Sorry for the longwinded message and wish you all a speedy recovery x
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