End Stage COPD, Heart Failure - help!!

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Hi

my father has been very poorly for some time however in June we was told he had End stage COPD and End stage heart failure. As well as this he has type 2 diabetes that is very uncontrolled. He overcome a bowel obstruction a couple of weeks ago yet his tummy is still very swollen but that may be to do with the heart failure? He is currently in hospital with a UTI and Pneumonia and this morning we are told he has MRSA. I just want some advice really, has anyone been in a similar situation and found anything helped or have any advice?

dad is 56 and cannot do anything for himself really, it’s so upsetting. Has anyone ever totally recovered from this or am I just hoping for a miracle? 

The consultant has said they wouldn’t resuscitate dad should his heart stop as down to medical/clinical decision that’s for his best interests. 

Im at such a loose end and would love any advice at all. 

Thanks 

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11 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi

    So sorry to hear how poorly your dear dad is. He really has a multitude of issues to deal with all at the same time. It must be very distressing for him and all who love and care for him.

    I wish I could offer reassurance that all will be well but sadly only a miraclewould help. I feel sure that he will be comforted by the knowledge that you care very much for him and are there to support him in his hour of need.

    I wish you all the very best during this very sad and traumatic time.

    Robert

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    • Posted

      Thanks so much for your reply, it’s just so hard when your loved one is suffering and there’s nothing more you can do. Thanks for your honest reply it is much appreciated 
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  • Posted

    Hi Lewlew

    Your Dad is very young to have so many things going on.  It must be so difficult for you.  I think the best person to ask about your Dad's situation would be the specialist doctors at the hospital.  Cardiac, COPD etc

    People with COPD can improve to the point of remaining stable even occasionally improve lung function in certain situations, those spoken of on the lung ed course (PR) but with any lung infection and pneumonia the condition ise then unstable, with hospital care your Dad could recover from being unstable.

    The MRSA stays in the body I believe and people just have episodes with it, the doctor can explain more about this, or check the patient UK page on MRSA

    https://patient.info/health/mrsa-leaflet

    The cardiac issue only the cardiologist can advise the situation for your Dad really, it all depends on the damage and they will be able to advise what the problem is and how they may be able to help your Dad.

    With a diagnosis of Type 2, the hospital diabetic department should be made aware your dad is in hospital as they will need to keep check on his blood glucose levels, pneumonia really mucks that up from experience.

    I so hope your Dad gets all the good care he needs in hospital and he begin to make good progress towards recovery.

    With all those health issues your Dad will never recover from them but he may well recover from this period of instability in hospital to go on to manage his many health issues successfully and enjoy living keeping his health issues stable.  Its not easy managing different health issues but the main thing for him in recovery once he is permitted to go home, is a healthy diet, moderate but regular exercise, as little stress as possible and a happy frame of mind.

    The hospital can refer to pulmonary rehability, cardiac guidance and advice, diabetic management course at the hospital and chat with a mindful psychologist at the hospital perhaps in helping him cope with the emotional and psychological side of his illnesses.

    Best wishes to you and your Dad,  I hope some of this information is of help to you and the awareness helpful for your Dad too.

    Take good care of yourself as well

     

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    • Posted

      Thanks so much for your reply and for the info given to, I have discussed with dads consultants who say he has weeks/months but obviously nothing set in stone as it’s all just “prediction” however I know in my heart he won’t get better but was hoping someone would come forward and say they had or knew someone that had done. I know he’s very poorly and he has had hospice care too last month but was sent to hospital as he had MRSA and needed an X-ray due to the pneumonia and the hospice didn’t have such facility, I think it’s just a case of keeping him settled and comfortable as possible now. I do appreciate you taking time for writing to my post, it’s very caring of your- thanks 
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  • Posted

    Lewlew,

    I too have COPD and for me it means more to me how people treat me. My brother and his family are so absorbed in their own lives that assisting me rarely if ever occurs to them. Showing your father that his family cares is truly his best medicine. Hospital visits yes, but cleaning his home, doing his laundry and grocery shopping are more tangible gifts that will convey your love.

    If it's not too much for him to handle, it may be a good idea to discuss with him what his final wishes are. Have his final rest already been arranged? I have and it is a relief that my final wishes are known.

     

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    • Posted

      Hi, 

      I’m so sorry to hear you suffer with COPD too! It’s not nice at all, I really feel for dad and wish there was more I could do. I do everything for him atm, cleaning, shopping, sorting out his care (he has a social worker and a care package) he only uses the caring team to wash and attend to his personal needs that he doesn’t want me to do which I totally understand. Other than that I do everything I possibly can, it’s just so heartbreaking to see him keep getting more and more ill or another illness/infection added to the mix, it’s awful!

      I hope you are ok and have lots of support around you 

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  • Posted

    Hi I am so sorry to hear about your dad and he is very young at 56 to be given such a diagnosis.  I am afraid that like the others I have to say that there is no chance of a miracle cure but he could live longer than the doctors say.  I have a friend who was given 3 years but lived 11 though with his health issues I do doubt it.

    It sounds like he is receiving pallitive care which is good as it is patient centered and based around what he wants.  When he does go he will not suffocate or anything as his organs will give way first and at least his death will be peaceful.

    Meanwhile just be there as much as possible for him and let him know  how much you love him.  

    Sorry to be a gloomy gus but don't want to give you false hope. x

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much for your honest reply, one of my worries is whether his breathing will become such a problem that he will struggle and become so breathless that that will cause his passing - but in such a struggle of you see what I mean, he’s so scared of dying and will not even entertain the conversation, he just says he’s not ready, his anxiety levels go through the roof and by talking about it I think I’m doing him no favours, I don’t like to talk to family members either as I feel they are suffering too so I felt best place to go was a forum, where I’ll get an honest reply. Deep down I know the inevitable; however we all cling on to that tiny bit of hope that a miracle will occur. I think in my heart I’ve acceptepted what will happen however I just know I can’t see him suffer any more than he is, it’s like torture.

      Thanks for your reply, I do really appreciate it x

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    • Posted

      My heart goes out to you its such a desperately sad trauma for you all. I am not sure if this will be helpful but during my studies for the degree in Radiotherapy I did some work on end of life care in hospices. One of the features that stick out is the individual response to the end of life. It appears that a heightened fear of death can be because of a number of factors.

      They may imagine that it will involve terrible suffering fèeling of suffocation. pain . Or an irrational fear that they will be punished in some way for some misdemenouurs or perceived wrongs they have done, as we all have.

      These poweful feelings can be often be countered and the burden lifted by reassurance from professionals. Medical staff can reassure that they will not allow your dad to suffer because they will always be there for him and do whatever is necessary.

      Psychological relief may come from the hospitals chaplain service or others skilled in palliative psychological care.

      Perhaps you could contact your local hospice as they will look after you all and do everything possible to comfort your Dad and those who love and care for him.

      Best wishes

      Robert

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    • Posted

      I understand that.  Like I said he won't die gasping for breath as he will be unconscious first and his other organs will fail first. It is very hard to see a loved on suffering isn't it.  I have been through this with both my parents.

      My thoughts are with you. xx

       

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