Endless Fear And Anxiety

Posted , 5 users are following.

I know you wonderful ladies have heard this countless times but I really have had enough of feeling this way.

My periods have been hit and miss for a while. My Mirena Coil is due to be replaced next year and I've been using Vagifem pessaries for a few years, twice a week. Several months ago, I started getting pains in the ovary region that would be followed eventually by a short period. I wouldn't bleed much but it would go on for about two weeks. 

A few months ago, I started with the tender breast feeling that I used to get before a period, along with a tightness with breathing. These symptoms I've had before so I recognised them as pre-menstrual. I thought.."here we go". A few days later, I'd bleed a little for again up to two weeks. Now, days after finishing, the breast tenderness comes back, along with a little backache at the bottom of my back. This has happened yet again and I've slightly bled until today when it's a lot more. 

I'm absolutely terrified something serious is wrong. Everyday, all day, it's on my mind. I get angry when I go to the toilet and the fear is unbelievable. I'm so scared I don't even know how I'll get to the doctors to discuss this. I worry about my cervix, womb and ovaries. The anxiety is too much. I have a loving and very supportive husband and I'm sick of him having to hear me worry over this so I shut down sometimes. Everyone has everyday worries and problems to deal with and this is overriding my life. 

I refuse to Google anything as that would physically and mentally make me feel worse than I do already. I am terrified all the time and I can't take much more of this. I know I sound dramatic here but I don't know where to turn and what to believe. Everything ends with me in the worst case scenario because I'm so sure that I have something that terrible. I don't know what to do anymore. Is this normal? Does anyone else feel or has felt this way? I'm at a complete loss. I'm so down and fed up. I could have had a Hysterectomy years ago but I chose not to thankfully as our third son was born when I was 34. The Mirena Coil has worked wonders for me but I'm so scared that now my fertility is shutting down, it's going to do something frightening to me.

For whoever has gotten this far, thank you for reading. I just don't want to have to worry about this anymore. I just want to mentally be able to function without this hanging over me all of the time.

8 likes, 9 replies

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Buggly... I can hear how scared and worried you are... It's seems like you are in peri menapause And part of it can be awful anxiety and worry and constantly examining how we feel so it becomes an endless cycle... I know as have been here and still go through it and have simular symptoms ... I'd hysterectomy 10 years ago (still with ovaries) and had chronic fibroids which led to awful hemmoraging.. Like so many ladies here, we experience awful anxiety and worry as so much goes on with our bodies a they move into menapause..it's a roller coaster you cannot get off. And you seem to be struggling with the changes as many of us are... you are not alone and please keep checking in here for support... These changes that are happening both physically and mentally are very difficult to cope with but you ain't alone... I'm sick of my symptoms but I've got great support here... So reach out and take one day at a time and maybe go and see a GP to put your mind at ease. Mind yourself and please remember, you are not alone in this. Big hug. CK

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    • Posted

      I am struggle Carol like so many of you ladies here and it's unbearable because the sensible me is trying to silence the negative one but it's not working. I couldn't go to the doctors every time I feel this way as I'd half live there but then I'm scared I've ignored something. Fingers crossed there is nothing untoward but it's driving me mad.

      Not longer after posting here, all I did was go to the toilet and noticed my belly button is red..not sore but weeping. Straight away I panicked wondering what this is. I hope it's just the heat but I just can't accept that. The littlest of things are huge problems to me now and my erratic periods have my mind racing yet again with fear.

      I often read these posts here and it brings me comfort sometimes as they can almost mirror myself with how I am and feel. I've finally achieved losing 8 stone and reversing my Type 2 Diabetes and was feeling on top of the world. Now I'm frightened it was all for nothing.

      I can't tell you what you and others here have done for me and just knowing I'm not alone has helped but this is pure torture some days. I'd rather have periods for ever than go through this. Our poor bodies struggle to keep up. Thank you so much Carol xx.

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  • Posted

    Buggly, this is exactly how I feel.  You said it perfectly.  You are not alone!
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    • Posted

      Thanks Liz. Sometimes, I wish that we all lived near to each other so that we could have meetings to discuss how we feel. I have an amazing friend who was similar to me when she went through it and she calms me down a lot. I'm so afraid of burdening people with it though that I just sit on my own, many times, and either cry or want to scream. Being among like minded people does help xx.

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    • Posted

      Yes - that is the core of the problem for me, too.  I’m always worried about burdening people, even doctors!!!  Some of it is rooted in childhood issues for me and it’s hard to convince myself that I deserve to ask for help.  I am single with no children and hate to burden my parents and sister but feel so awfully lonely now that peri has taken hold.
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  • Posted

    I am the same as you worry all the time I cant give u answer how to stop these thought it's horrible I no. My whole days are a worry x

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    • Posted

      It's horrendous Maud and it just shows how governed we are by hormones and how they can drive you half mad with worry. 

      We're told that any kind of bleeding, (if it's not in the usual pattern), needs to be investigated. It happens so often that you sometimes don't know what to do and your mind goes into survival mode. Unfortunately though you need reassurance and help but you can struggle to reach out for it through nothing but fear. I wish that there were more answers and ideas that would help us while we try to get through this. Thank you Maud xx.

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  • Posted

    Dr Wilson’s adrenal Stree Formula helped me. I had fibroids so my uterus was removed but I still have ovaries but periods were over then and do not miss the three week long lasting periods and PMDD.   Depression is my main  issue. I hope you find relief.

    I changed my diet drastically two years ago and found even more relief but I tested allergic to the modern American Diet. . I had an IUD, the shots and years of birth controls and severe cramping and mood swings. So glad all that is in the rear view.  Good luck. 🍀 

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