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Shortly after I started suffering from panick attacks (a month or so), I noticed that the back of my left knee was a bit more fleshy than my right one. You can imagine how scared I was! I had never dealt with anxiety before and just then this lump pops up! I've never had health anxiety like this before! I sort of neglected it for a few months because when I looked it up, it sounded a lot like a Baker's Cyst, which is completely benign. Finally I went in to get X-rays done and the doctor confirmed it was a Baker's Cyst. I though to myself, how can you possibly CONFIRM this from an x-ray if baker's cysts don't show up on x-rays. Needless to say, I went in for a second opinion elsewhere. After getting another x-ray with no abnormalities, it was on to the second step: getting an ultrasound.
Turns out it's an enlarged lymph node on my popliteal fossa (back of knee). I hoped and hoped it would have been a cyst because that would have been the end of it. Now I'm getting sent in for bloodwork, a second ultrasound (to see if it's growing), and a biopsy.
Stupid me started googling and now I can't stop crying at the idea that I might have cancer. Everywhere I've read says that a painless, rubbery lymph node that's lasted more than 2-3 weeks is a cause for concern. I feel hopeless. It's like everything just piled up on me. First the anxiety, then my depression came back, and now this. My anxiety is going back through the roof. I just want to cry all day. I try not to think about it, but how can you not when there's a possibility you won't get to spend the next ten years next to the people you love. I'm not strong enough for something like cancer...
I guess I just need some positive stories, words of encouragement, anything!
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