Eosinophilic asthma, acidosis, repeated ICU admissions

I've been chronically ill with severe eosinophilic type asthma for the past 3 years. 20+ hospitalisations and now 12 ICU admissions (was just released from my most recent admission). I was told by my very first specialist I had a negative prognosis. I was told if the trends of exacerbations continue I wouldn't make it to my 21st birthday. At that time I was non-compliant, whereas I have been now for the past year and a half and still have frequent admissions, and even more frequent ICU admissions. I'm on mepolizumab which has decreased how many exacerbations to maybe 1 every 2/3 months.

I'm now nearly 20. The exacerbations are becoming increasingly more severe, I've been on Bi-pap and in ICU every time for the past 5/6 admissions. Luckily never tubed. Also, I go into acidosis every single exacerbation now (lactate levels always between 10 & 15, I don't know exactly what units it is in though). IV steroids don't help in a hospital setting now, only adrenaline, ketamine (to relax the airways) and back-to-back salbutamol nebulisers get me past the worst of it. I'm never particularly hypoxic, so the acidosis is relative to the medications and breathing effort rather than hypoxia itself.

Lately also, my hair has been starting to fall out significantly more, my weight will fluctuate by about 10kgs every couple weeks. I have also been increasingly more fatgiued and "air-hungry" day-to-day. It makes it harder to keep my O2 sats above 90% during exacerbation. I'm usually quite good at maintaining good sats despite how bad my condition gets, I just force my body to push through how hard it is to breathe till I genuinely have 0 energy left and my breath just quivers from my muscles shaking. The time it takes my body to get to that point and crash is getting shorter and shorter.

I'm getting scared. I'm not even 20 years old. I was going into nursing & midwifery next year. I wanted to get into emergency medicine. I feel so, so defeated. It's having a sense of impending doom, but for a legitimate reason. I'm struggling to cope with the idea of me deteriorating. I'm already on 20mg lexapro (which has helped) but the reality of everything is becoming more apparent. I'm not quite sure if I have more options out there for treatment? My specialist said he won't consider anything else because I'm "too young to ruin the rest of my life", but as I see it, I don't even know how much time would be the "rest of my life."

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