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I thought I would post as some things have really been getting me down recently.
Firstly I will say that we are very lucky to already have a child - who is our absolute world. However we are starting to think about baby no 2.
I suffer intermittently with anxiety and OCD and in my last pregnancy both of these things got really bad, so I am already a little concerned that things may take the same avenue this time around.
I am taking the necessary vitamins and have also had a review of my medication with my dr, with our plans in mind. Including having weaned myself slowly off my anti-depressant medication in preparation.
Having to take all this into account, although we started planning this over 6 months ago, we have only been actively trying for 4 months.
However I already feel my anxieties starting to kick in about things that could harm an unborn baby that I may conceive (which I constantly have to keep in check), even though so far there is no baby to announce!
It took us 12 months to conceive our first child (and that was with me and my partner on the same work patterns, which this time isn't the case), so I know 4 months is nothing! However, so many people I know are getting pregnant as soon as they start trying that as much as I hate myself for it, I am finding myself resenting my own body for the fact that we aren't there yet.
I think the impatience comes from the increased anxiety I am feeling month on month and the thought that this has to get worse before it gets better, as the dr won't (and I don't want to risk) being on anti-depressants while trying for another child.
I also find that it's stressing me out - which I am sure is also stopping us conceiving.
I just feel so down at the moment and like there isn't much (if any) support out there for couples who are trying to conceive, but failing. :-(
I suppose I just really want to know if anyone else out there feels the same way and whether there is anything anyone can suggest to make this phase easier.
(I apologise for anyone reading this who is still to have their first child - I don't mean to appear insensitive. I know how lucky we are to have one child and if one child is all we are destined to have, then we will be very happy and grateful to have what we do have. But we would like another child, both because we would like two and so that our first child has a sibling for company).
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