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This has been coming for weeks..with the creeping of christmas doom, work issues and no support. It came to ahead when I went to my mum's for xmas (didnt want to be alone). I hated being there yet when the time came to go I panicked and cried as I was back in my fkat all alone again. So throughout the week, I kept going back spending most the day there. I would come back to my flat to sleep and it dawned on ne that I just cannot do this and my emotions took over. I got drunk and took pills and ended up in hospital. In hospital I was horrified and panicking so I called my mum and told her. I fidnt want to and hate myself for needing her and relying on her again. I was so panicky that I wasnt well enough to go home the first night but then on saturday I went back but went to my mums as i couldnt bare to be all alone again. And now im back alone for good.
Im not allowed to take my medication for a week due to impact of overdose and my anxiety is through the roof. I keep panicking that I cannot do this alone and be here and the rooms feel lonely and frightening all over again.
I dont know how to keep doing this.
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