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Everything feels frightening

Posted , 7 users are following.

k8861
k8861

This has been coming for weeks..with the creeping of christmas doom, work issues and no support. It came to ahead when I went to my mum's for xmas (didnt want to be alone). I hated being there yet when the time came to go I panicked and cried as I was back in my fkat all alone again. So throughout the week, I kept going back spending most the day there. I would come back to my flat to sleep and it dawned on ne that I just cannot do this and my emotions took over. I got drunk and took pills and ended up in hospital. In hospital I was horrified and panicking so I called my mum and told her. I fidnt want to and hate myself for needing her and relying on her again. I was so panicky that I wasnt well enough to go home the first night but then on saturday I went back but went to my mums as i couldnt bare to be all alone again. And now im back alone for good.

Im not allowed to take my medication for a week due to impact of overdose and my anxiety is through the roof. I keep panicking that I cannot do this alone and be here and the rooms feel lonely and frightening all over again.

I dont know how to keep doing this.

1 like, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • Adldiane
    Adldiane k8861

    Posted

    Hello there. Boy you are having a very painful time and for some the holidays just make things worse I think. There's no reason to be mad at yourself for needing your mom we all need people especially when we're hurting. I'm just glad that you made it through. Did any particular thing cause this crisis. We will be here for you. I care the group cares and we will support you so write as much and as often. Diane 

  • gary78460
    gary78460 k8861

    Posted

    whats wrong with wanting your mam??????/ shes a feel safe mechonismy 4 you ,we all have our own and thats yours,stop being so hard on yourself.drinking and tablets dont mix as you jave lernt,you will be fine,pm me we will chat
    • k8861
      k8861 gary78460

      Posted

      Because its a complicated relationship... 😣

  • carmela45627
    carmela45627 k8861

    Posted

    Do you have a dr that would be able to help you with fear of being alone. Do you know why you experience fear. Has something happened to you regarding being alone in which seems to cause fear. I’m sorry that you are suffering so. Please keep coming back here and keep telling us more so that our support can get you through the week. Please try not to mix pills with alcohol it may stop your breathing
  • Adldiane
    Adldiane k8861

    Posted

    Hi again. Hope you don't feel bombarded but can't you tell you are concerned about you? We just want you to be safe. I know you have feelings for him. 

  • lattifa7777
    lattifa7777 k8861

    Posted

    Oh my goodness , I’ve been on this forum for 2 years and never have I found someone so similar to me.

    When I was very ill I absaloutly hated being alone, I still don’t really like it, even tho I’m better now, I get the odd moments where I’m alone at home and I get this awful scary feeling like I’m dead, but never as bad as I was at the time I was first diagnosed.

    Listen the thing that helped me the most was walking, I would just get out and walk where their was people, looking around the shops or just a stroll.

    Your not on meds at the moment so things will be a lot worse yiu need to tell ur self that, and really really fight it. You need something to distract you , put the tv on a bit loud at all times so you don’t feel that eary quietness , also an adult colouring book is good, taking a long bath but still have the tv on , and talk to ur self say u will be ok . Are you religious at all?

    Xx

    • k8861
      k8861 lattifa7777

      Posted

      Hi no im not religious. Im not scared as in think something will happen, but scared of emptiness and sadness.
  • k8861
    k8861

    Posted

    Things feel very awful today. I feel incredibly sad and anxious. Everything feels so much..obviously I am without medication so trying to tell myself this is why but the feelings are so intense. I am not seeing my gp until thursday.
  • Lynsky
    Lynsky k8861

    Posted

    Hi K8861

    Do you have any friends you could hang with? What about a pet? My dog keeps me going, without a doubt. Do you get anxious in public places or could you go hang out at a coffee shop and read a book or something? I hope things get better for you soon.

  • gary78460
    gary78460 k8861

    Posted

    anxierty is the bodies way of telling you that somethings not right ,dont fight it but embrace it and try finding the cause of it
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