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Everything has fallen apart since coming off mirtazapine

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RimaMashiro
RimaMashiro

Here’s my history. I had been on mirtazapine for about 2 years and before that I was on sertraline for about 6-7 years. Earlier this year I was in a really good place. I have a wonderful and supportive husband, I had been able to get into a somewhat consistent exercise and healthy eating regime which is so beneficial to mental health and had been feeling generally happy and well.

I started tapering off mirtazapine just under 4 months ago, tapering took about 4 weeks (which from what I've read is really fast) and I feel like everything has completely fallen apart since. Around the same time I ran out of a sinus medication from ENT and have only just been able to get it again, literally just today (I have chronic rhinosinusitis which causes terrible sinus headaches).

Over the last month or so things have gotten worse and worse and they’ve become intolerable in the last few weeks. My anxiety has been really bad, I’ve been getting heart palpitations, my sleep (which is never good anyway) has been awful, my sinus headaches have been awful due to the lack of my sinus medication, I’ve been taking painkillers for my headaches, nearly daily now, which I think has now led to rebound headaches as well. One of the worst things is I’ve developed ringing tinnitus and pulsatile tinnitus, which isn’t something I’ve really had before. I’m not sure if it’s related to the anxiety, the sinusitis, the rebound headaches or something more serious which is making me more anxious.

Along with these things I’ve been having issues with my contraception (I’m now on the patch along with my implant to try to reset my cycle into a more regular pattern) so hormones might be affecting things. And earlier this year I had to change my acne cream because my old one became unavailable. The new one is much less effective and it’s been affecting my confidence, I’m 30 but I look like a pubescent teenager. I’ve not got around to sorting this out yet because of everything else. I’ve also not been able to exercise for a bit because of the headaches and being so tired.

I’ve been to the gp once about how I’ve been feeling about 3 weeks ago. It's really hard to get everything out in one consultation so I wasn't able to cover everything. He gave me propranolol for the physical anxietysymptoms (it has helped with heart palpitations but that's all) and booked a follow up for 4 weeks time, which is next week but I’m not sure I can wait another week. I’ve also had one session with my private counsellor a couple weeks ago.

I’ve been feeling so stressed and anxious and down about it all. I don’t want to go on living like this and I’ve even been feeling like I don’t want to go on living at all sometimes, I can’t see an end to it. I'm crying everyday at the moment. I don’t know what to do, I regret coming off mirtazapine so much, everything fell apart after that. I was in such a good place before I came off it. Should I go back on it or something else or should I try to tough it out and hope things get better? I just don't know.

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  • Guest
    Guest RimaMashiro

    Posted

    hi ive been through a lot of the same things anxiety neverending stress medication problems not sleeping feeling kind of hopeless wanting to give up so badly medication helps in some ways but sometimes the side effects are a nightmare therapy is helpful but can feel too hard pointless or generic i never got all the answers i was looking for in fact i was diagnosed with so many different mental disorders it made it harder and more confusing but there was a lot that i took away from all of it that is still helping me today i know ill never be 100%healed fixed or whatever but i have found thing's that made a difference for me one of my top priorities now is sleep ive tried several medications to try and sleep regularly but melatonin is my best friend especially when i feel stressed or my mind wont settle enough to sleep i realized not sleeping kicked everything into overdrive my anxiety panic attacks stress emotions etc spiralled and not sleeping on top of everything else caused me to keep spiralling and it got worse and worse and worse also peer support people who understand exactly what youre feeling are the best people to talk to you dont have to worry what people will think because they go through the same thing and try to be the friend they needed when they were in your shoes and i dont know if you have the same problem ibhad but when it is really bad for me i go over and over in my head everything thats wrong with me my whole life and its constant self dialogue of i want to give up why should i keep trying anything along the lines of i hate myself i want to give up reverse it even if you dont feel it say the opposite please it might feel stupid or like you dont believe it but your mind is tricky it can get stuck on a loop all the negative things we tell ourselves when we feel like giving up will go on repeat i know having a mental illness is hard life can be hard but please please please dont give up

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