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vicky51471 vicky51471

Ex Heroin addict am I wrong??

hi there!

could really do with some help please 

i have been off methadone and heroin since March 2016 I haven’t been near anyone or anything to do with it.

its not easy but I’m clean now and very proud of it.

 However I have a partner of 18 months! He knows about my past.

I said that I couldn’t be around any class As. And I wouldn’t want to be with somone that is. I was with my husband 16 years and got out of it he stayed on the drugs.

I found  out about 4months ago that the Man Iam with has been doing cocaine. I went crazy explained my feeling about it.

 I explained I hated anything to do with it. He said he would

i have done loads of drugs over the years the very thought of an upper gives me a rush. Mad I know. It does

 So we talked he said it wasn’t a problem to him, he wouldn’t do it again.

yeah right....

 Now I’m not stupid I went there last night and I saw an old fiver rolled up, so I licked it and it was defo coke.

 I don’t want to be with anyone on drugs as I’ve said it’s a personal choice but now 4 months from the original conversation he’s still doing it.

its with a friend it’s been going on ages and he thought that I didn’t know!

i feel that he doesn’t want to stop. When I asked him about this today h put his fingers in his ears like a child.

IVe left his now after me gobbling off I was so upset to think he we do it again.

Also how stupid do I feel? Really really stupid!!

weve not been-getting on well at all even without this!!

so ive walked away my hearts broken..... again 

this man knew from the start I was completely honest about my situation.

 Does Anyone hi any advice please!!!

 I thought he was on my side, we had no secrets that was all lies aswell

Also there’s been other times he’s done it ive known and not  said anything hoping im wrong.........Stupid me

also I’m with the local mental health team he knows this and all the thoughts I’ve been having.

thank you 

Vicky 

4 Replies

  • Sonny123 vicky51471

    You must put yourself first. You are right to stay clean and must let him make his choice either to use selfishly or stay in your life.You have to let him go if he does not love you enough to quit using drugs. It will only hurt you and kill you in the end. I think your doing wonderful staying clean and hope you let nothing get in your way. I am also a recovering addict/ alcoholic and share your views. Mike

    • vicky51471 Sonny123

      hi there

      Thank you for your reply!,

      Youre completely right I can see.

      i have come so for quitting the Heroin.

      he knew my views. We discussed the first time he said he wouldn’t do it again then I find out.

      i feel really stupid but I’ll put it down to a lesson learned hey.

      well done to you in your recovery too!!

      its been a long hard road but light a the end of the tunnel

      thanks again for your reply

      vicky

  • Jim Jim jim vicky51471

    You done the right thing. I for clean 2 years ago. Stayed with partner and only took 5months to get habit back. All that pain for nothing, still have have habit and don't know how I will get clean again. Stay away from him you done so well girl to stay clean that long. U will find some1 else some1 that will respect your issues and help you. Wish you all the best and remember how well you done do t ever forget it.

    • vicky51471 Jim Jim jim

       hi thereSorry for the late replyThank you for your reply I know as they say I’ve got  to keep my side of the street clean!!It’s hard enough journey without added upset like that in my life I don’t need.I have started to part ways with him building A gap I guess.If you’ve done it before you can do it again.One thing I have learnt Throughout this all you have to be really selfish to get clean.I had a relationship for 16 years  marriage in fact and he was a user as well we both got clean and he was still doing it behind my back so had to walk away.  A massive decision had to be made but I know I had to do it. So I guess if you did before then You can do it again have faith in yourself.

      i never thought I’d be clean!!! Ever ever 

      so never say never.

       I wish you well in the decisions you make and I hope that you find the strength to  overcome and get well.as I said never  say never my friend.Thank you and you take care now be kind to yourself.Vicky

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