Excruciating Burning During/After Sex

Ive been monogamous with my bf for 3 and a half years. About a year into our relationship I started noticing an intense burning sensation during/after sex. I always urinate after sex and this is when it would be the worst. I would also frequently have an insatiable itch down there that would suck for about two days and then diminish again. This went on and off for awhile and got to where I never wanted to have sex because it was so painful. I decided to see a doctor and the doctor said I probably just wasn't turned on enough and to try some lube, she also prescribed me a cream to use when I felt the burning/felt itchy. This cream helped give me some relief but didn't cure anything and the pain seemed to be getting worse so about a year later I went back to the doctor and she tested for STDS which came back clear, took a urine sample-clear, did a vaginal swab-clear. Couldn't find the problem so she prescribed a low dose anti depressant which was basically a big "you're making it up" but I was willing to try anything so I took the pills for about a week and all they did was make me incredibly tired and it effected my work so I stopped taking them. I still had the issues so I decided to see what I could do on my own to alleviate the problem. I bought 100% cotton underwear and bought all new products/soap and detergent that were fragrance free and supposed to be natural etc. Ive even used an at home yeast infection kit hoping that could be the problem, and even an antibiotic in case I had a bladder infection. My symptoms seemed to disappear for awhile but in the last few months Ive noticed a huge frequency in how often I have to pee. About every 40 min to be exact. From what Ive read online frequent urination in small amounts and a foul odor can be clear signs of a UTI (check!) but I haven't had any lower-back or side pain or a low grade fever. Bacterial vaginosis can also cause burning during urination and itchiness, but wait, didn't the doctor clear me for all that?? So whats going on? She referred me to a vulva specialist which I can go see to check if I have vulvodynia which is defined as "discomfort or burning pain in the vulvar area with no obvious cause" which is all well and good except why do I feel the sensation to pee all the time? None of it makes any sense. I don't have the money to go to a vulva specialist only to find out the problem isn't my vulva. Last night my bf and I had sex which went really well and I didn't seem to be feeling any pain up until he pulled out and then it started burning and when I went to sit on the toilet and felt the most excruciating burning that I felt thus far. This has happened many times but this time was so much WORSE. I couldn't sleep and laid there crying with an ice pack between my legs. Ive done everything I can think of to fix this but last night was the final straw. I never want to feel that pain again. But is was strange because we had done it the day before and I was fine. I'm not sure what triggers the pain but it seems to come and go as it pleases. Can ANYONE tell me if I have a reoccurring UTI, Bacterial vaginosis, or vulvodynia or something else? Which doctor should I see because Idk if this is a bladder problem or a vulva problem. Do I just have some kind of imbalance, is it as simple as taking a vitamin/supplement or maybe a probiotic? There has been pain in any position, whether we've just showered or we're sweaty, off my period and during my period. Its been going on for years and I know its not in my head.

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