exhausted after TKR

On a bad day I can get so frustrated with my caring family when they say 'oh dear you must be tired because you.ve done too much'I feel like screaming NO I'm not tired, I really, really hurt. I'm in pain..At least on here every one else understands.

I'm finding the same. It's good to know I'm not some sort of freak. except with my first knee that went so well.

And it's not the tiredness so much, I find, it's the frustration at the tiredness and not bring able to do what you want. And being dependent. And the pain.

I do too. I seriously don't think you understand this until you have done it. I am a nurse, and will be a MUCH better nurse after this.

That's what I found was good u can get on this and write what ever u won't and there is no reading it going suck it up and move on because nearly everyone is in the same position and then one you take your self away fron the computer I know I feel a little better off and I'm then no longer snapping at the most important people in our life's that are trying there very hardest to get us though our operation 

Yes I have certainly put my hubby through it and he's been so good. He's the one always here so he gets the whiplash of my frustration.

It was the tiredness for the first three or four weeks because I just couldn't sleep for more than an hour or two. At the time I said on here that if the tiredness went I could cope with anything. Well it went and the pain and frustration took over. I have realised though that if I were taking as many pain killers as then I wouldn't be in pain when I overdid it so perhaps it really is improvement.

I know what you mean. I'm sick of people (mainly family) saying " you must be feeling a lot better now, it can't still be hurting that much"  yes it bl**dy is hurting that much.  Just because they know someone who was pain free and fully mobile after 3 weeks (or so they say) unfortunately I'm not. Yes I thought I would be ok now but it's been worse than I ever expected.  It is hard because I have a five year old that needs walking to school and I still can't do that so have to rely on other people. It is nice to know other people are feeling the same as you are. Last week I thought I was making progress my bend had  gone from 60% to 80% and I was walking not too bad but physio said I was standing and walking too much and I needed to focus on straightening my leg. Now my bend has got worse, I feel as if I'm limping really badly and my leg is no straighter than it was so I am feeling a bit down but I know it will get better cos people on here have said it would. Just wish my family would read a few people's stories!!  Good luck in your journey and hope you get the pain under control....😃🌻

Hopefully he has a thick skin and can take for u cause that's the worst part benn frustrated because u need to do something so very small but when you have an extra 2 legs its a wee hard to make all 4 go the right way hahahah 😀😀😀😀

I wish I could meet some of these people who are pain free and mobile after three weeks. Have they really had a full tkr do you think or do they have a really high pain threshold. And do they stay pain free when they start house work, driving etc? Perhaps someone on here in that position can tell us.

My first knee was really good. I was almost painfree at 3 weeks, with the odd bad day. But now it is getting sore because it is covering for knee number 2. And the degree of progress I had for knee number one is NOT NORMAL!! The pain, disability etc I hsve had for knee 2 is more normal according to my surgeon and physio. So if people are telling you so and so did such end such at 3 weeks, they are just lucky, not normal. The hard road is the normal road and people need to realize this.

Like you I would like their advice on why I'm still in pain 9 weeks down the line ...am I just a whimp? 

No way Jean. As Sandra says, and she knows both ways, they are very, very lucky.  Our nerves are healing now and that will cause pain. so surely no pain no gain.

Knee number one was sore last night after my very busy day. Also I am getting weird feelings on the skin as the nerves heal. And have hamstring spasms in that one if I bend more than 120.I was getting annoyed with that, but not anymore after knee number 2!!! This morning knee number two is aching a lot, knee number one is fine. 

ah shanders, i know exactly how you feel.  my sister keeps asking me why it is taking so long and is it normal?  well heck, i don't know what is normal either but i just have to take it day-by-day and hope that the next day is better, less pain, more bend, etc., etc.!  on thursday i woke up at 4 a.m. in agony with BOTH my knees screaming with pain.  today, saturday, i went into town without my trusty sticks because i was feeling so good and optimistic.  yes, i am paying for it AND i forgot my midday meds but i can feel how the pain is getting more and more manageable.

i bumped into my surgeon this week while at physio and i was telling him about my terrible day.  he reassured me that it is like a rollercoaster, there are good and bad days.  but to keep going while listening to my body.  i guess this applies to you too.  keep doing your exercises, going to physio and remember to be kind to yourself. don't despair, we all get there eventually.

It must be really difficult looking after a five year old!!!! Hope you have some help. People who think youvshoukd be "better" by now need to be referred to somewhere where they can get accurate info. My physio sat me down and told me a timeline. I think it is 6 mths before anything approaching normal and a year to heal completely. 12 weeks of feeling like crap. My surgeon said I could go back to work 8 weeks after, physio said no way. I'm aiming for February.

I think the people my mum and sister know are a lot older than me and with respect they are probably happy to be walking pain free, they were not expecting to be running, kneeling, dancing etc so yes they think it is marvellous and easy but for me the surgeon and physio are expecting me to get a lot more movement back but it is going to take time.  I've been standing and walking too much (according to physio) so have to rest more but I think everyone thinks I am just being lazy and "should keep moving and exercising" do I can't win.  I think the sympathy is wearing thin now so maybe I do need to give myself a talking to and start being more positive (or just lie and tell people I am doing well)....🍀👍

thanks Britta, that has made me feel a lot better. Tomorrow I am going to be more positive and work extra hard on my exercises as I don't want my bend to seize up while I'm concentrating on the straightening exercises.  My sister has been brilliant helping out with my little boy but she is "hard as nails" when it comes to pain and she doesn't show a lot of sympathy, she thinks if you get on with things and stop dwelling on your pain you will feel better - maybe she's right? I'll just keep plodding on (or slightly limping on) and do things in my own time and I'll get there in the end...😀

I think I need to let my sister read some of the posts on here Sandra then she might understand more. Yes it is hard with a five year old, he tries to look after me but when he is playing he does tend to forget about my bad knee and has hit it once or twice!  He comes in handy if I drop things though or need something from the kitchen ( I call him my mini carer).  Do all surgeons live in a fantasy land or do they just think they are miracle workers and as soon as they have done their bit you should be back to normal and if you aren't it's because you aren't trying hard enough. I'll be glad if I'm feeling more myself by christmas, and as for driving I'm afraid Myrtle (my mini) will have to wait a bit longer as I've no desire to go out let alone drive. Only 8 more crap weeks to go!!....😁🚗

I think the people my mum and sister know are a lot older than me and with respect they are probably happy to be walking pain free, they were not expecting to be running, kneeling, dancing etc so yes they think it is marvellous and easy but for me the surgeon and physio are expecting me to get a lot more movement back but it is going to take time.  I've been standing and walking too much (according to physio) so have to rest more but I think everyone thinks I am just being lazy and "should keep moving and exercising" do I can't win.  I think the sympathy is wearing thin now so maybe I do need to give myself a talking to and start being more positive (or just lie and tell people I am doing well)....🍀👍

I know just what you mean about the sympathy wearing thin my daughters sympathy waned after the first couple of weeks the job she does is to clean and care for the elderly .... I'm 76 but in her eyes I don't need help ..I'm just Mum  ...sigh..... 

Now my scar is healing nicely on the outside my family think it's totally healed inside too and that I should now be back to normal.

and that's my moan for the day

my leg feels so tight and heavy and it's such a strange feeling.

 

Yes Jean you're right they do think it must be better because the scar is healing on the outside. I keep telling them I have no feeling on the outside of my knee and bending makes it feel as if it will split open but they don't really understand. My hubby has been very good so far but today I got the impression that he thinks I should be better than I am.  I noticed there was a big pile of ironing but if he thinks I am doing it he is in for a shock!  I have put quite a few loads of washing on, cleaned the bathroom a bit and made a few meals and that's more than enough. This is probably why I have been standing too much.  Your daughter needs to understand you do need help at the moment, once you are feeling better you won't need it and will be back to being 'just mum".  Hope you continue to improve and your leg becomes your own again soon!...😉🌼🍁

Thank you 

without my long suffering Hubby I don't know where I'd be

but I too get the feeling he feels he's done his bit 

I've hidden my ironing in the spare bedroom and I only iron what I want to wear on the day ..( out of sight ...out of mind ) 

this is the first operation I've ever had so I presume they think Mum is the strong one...which I add I usually am

I've shed plenty of tears since this op ...even sad things on the television reduces me to tears....so it's not me just feeling sorry for myself....

my tears have been shed in private though 

 

And has your sister had a TKR or any other ortho surgery????? When you think about it ortho surgery is in a class of it's own. You don't have abdominal surgery and then get told to do situps on day 1. TKR, they carve up your knee, then tell you to bend it, walk on it etc etc. Of course it will be sore for WEEKS and our friends, rellys need to understand that. I am so lucky mine do.

My physio said not to forget that there is a lot of scar tissue on the inside and that is what takes time to heal. Also that is wht the exercises are so important so that the internal scar tissue doesn't thicken. \The outside scar is nothing compared to that. That's what others don't see.

pain is a crazy thing, isn't it?  do they "measure" it the same way in the uk as they do here, i.e. tell me how bad your pain is on a scale from 1 to 10?  my surgeon is sending me to a pain therapist as he tells me he cannot deal with my psychological problems.  initially i was quite offended as i didn't realize i have psychological problems to start off with!  but now i am just curious as i am clearly not the only one with a pain problem otherwise there wouldn't be specialists for this!  the appointment for this is on november 27 as she is fully booked before then, another sign how many people suffer.  i will keep you posted on the outcome and what it is she does.

not sure if your physio has told you this.  when walking, walk slowly and very consciously, trying very consciously to walk "normally".  the thing is, the limp can become "normal" for your brain and you don't want to let this happen.  as mad as it sounds, it has really worked for me.  i don't have my speedy gait back yet but am not waddling like a fat duck anymore.

i was also given numerous pep talks last week about how important the mental mindset is.  all my therapists rate it very highly as they have seen over and over how this influences the healing process.  so i am taking a page out of their book and keep talking to my knee encouragingly.  they also encouraged me NOT to make the knee the centre of my life.  which is what i have done for 8 weeks and am now bored with it.  so food for thought.  and strangely, i have been feeling SO much better since yesterday.

don't let anybody "bully" you ... softly, softly catch the monkey!

Britta I think I need to see this therapist too.!.. my knee has taken over my life.... I did see a good physio last week who showed me all about posture and it has made a difference to my walking... still at a snails pace .... but not bent over as I was doing.... I am 9 weeks on... and I still use a crutch.... is this normal?

P'S  I think we all are left with psychological issues after this major surgery.... I seriously underestimated how big a deal it would be .  good luck.

Yes we normally use the same scale over here but for some reason the hospital and physio used 1 - 4 so not as much choice.  

I really must start focusing on my walking and go slowly, I don't want to be left with a limp ( or waddling like a fat duck lol! )  I shall gve myself a talking to and start looking forward instead of being so negative about my knee. 

My mum has actually admitted today that it was a major operation and the friend she knows who was out and about after ten days is in the minority and most people struggle for a long time. This has made me feel better as her and my sister made me feel I was dragging things out and not trying enough. 

Positive Mental Attitude is the way forward!....x😃

I went out last night and someone said 'Oh hazel's had a new knee too. Isn't she doing well. I spoke to'Hazel' who said well no, it wasn't exactly a new knee it was a keyhole to tidy up a torn miniscus and remove a spur of bone. Can't help wondering how many of the painless tkr's (A few exeptions like Sandra) are really tkr's.

exactemundo, carol!  i am very sorry, but key hole surgery and the surgery we have all had cannot be compared.  but we just have to put it down to people's ignorance and let the comments pearl off us, as if we were wearing a dryzbone (australian rain coat, guaranteed not to let any moisture in!).  all will be well, we will all get there eventually.

shanders -- i can imagine how good that felt when your mum said that.  finally somebody on your side!  they don't mean to be mean, they just don't know any better.  good luck with the walking ... the image of the duck will be with you 

hi mary ... up until last friday i was still using one crutch (stick).  quite heavily to be honest, so heavily that i bruised the palm of my hand around my thumb!!  it is all black and blue.  i was horrified.  i then saw my acupuncturist on friday night and of course i have no idea what he did, but he did put in more needles and so i asked.  "your balance isn't very good" ... who knew!  on saturday (and today) i felt really fit and the cloud in my head had lifted.  it is like i have got my old life back.

you probably think i am crazy to be having all these different therapies but i find i really benefit from them, both mentally and physically.  but i have always been into the alternative method and have had amazing results.  

Britta my physio said the exact same thing to me. I think if anyone said my pain from this knee was due to a physchological problem, I'd hit them over the head with my stick!!!!! it's becsuse my knee has been carved up. But ive had a really bad night. Was feeling good yesterday so pushed myself too much. Am finally getting more than 90.with my right knee. A psychologist might help with coping with the pain.I find listening to music(Mozart mainly) helps. Has a calming effect.

Yes Britta it was nice to hear her admit that.  Infact I was feeling so positive today I decided to try walking down the stairs (I can walk up about 2 or 3 steps) only the last step though, oh my god was it painful, I honestly thought I was going to pass out. My bend obviously wasn't enough for the step and the pain ripped through my leg. Needless to say I won't be trying that for a while! I must try to be more like the tortoise not the hare....🐢

Sandra    Whatdo  you do about the hamstring spasms. ?.. I get them too.  really  painful and last  for anything up to 2 hours... 

You are so right Carol! I am now getting worried to say my knee doesn't feel great etc as people just dont understand; wish they could hobble in our shoes (for a little while, don't want to be too mean).

You can see their faces when you respond truthfully!

I had to go back to work on Monday; I didn't feel ready and don't feel ready but. . .

My movement is progressing but the feeling inside is just the worse (I understand you exactly Jean!) and my straighten like Shanders is not 100% yet. Saw the physio at my exercise class yesterday and as usual her answer is "think how you were four weeks ago" but once again she has no real answers as to why it is hurting etc, just keep exercising, it is early days etc.

Am off on Monday for my 12 review and to see whether I need the manual manipulation procedure.

Am fed up with the whole thing just want the horrid feeling inside to subside :-(

Tracey 11.1 weeks

hi tracey ... sorry to hear that going back to work has been difficult. it is a huge struggle, isn't it? i get to work and need a cup of tea and a sit down, i am tired already and i haven't even done anything! you are ahead of me (9.2 weeks) so it seems silly for me to say this, but i think your physio is right, you are doing way more things now than 4 weeks ago. we forget quickly as we take mobility for granted but it is true. every little extra i send a little prayer of thanks to the gods above :-)

as you know, manual manipulation is also still a topic for me too. decision gets taken on december 9 so of course this is constantly on my mind even if one of physios tells me to ban it from my head. seriously?? i think it is important to find out what your pain and discomfort is due to. but you know, i am still in discomfort and would probably be in major pain if it were not for the meds. for some reason, i am not concerned about that, i just put it down to it being early days. but that's because we have x-rayed the knee and know that the lack of bend has nothing to do with the joint itself. so when i go to physio, i lie on the table and in head am saying "nothing can happen, it is only muscle, nothing can happen, it is only muscle" when she giving the knee some welly.

good luck with your review on monday and keep us posted. am very interested to hear what your surgeon says re: pain and the procedure. keep your chin up, this too will pass. for all of us.

britta 9.2 weeks

Mary, I'm sorry I've only just seen this. I have tried taking magnesium, but not sure if it is helping. I only get them when I bend my left knee. It is now effecting my bend, but the physio is not worried. He thinks it is because the hamstrings are weak and all will be ok as they strengthen with exercise.I massage, and that helps a bit. It is frustrating though, my right knee has s better bend then my left now. Also I have noticed my left is more swollen than my rightso am going to spend the day icing and elevating.

I have been taking magnesium too.... bit early to say if they are helping.... I massage my thigh..  calf and hamstring with lavender aromatherapy oil...  just as i get into  bed seems to ease it.. also rub some on the soles of your feet  .helps with sleep...so I was told by a reflexologist..x

Hi Mary

I'm going to give the lavender oil a try  as I'm struggling to sleep.

i just woke up thinking I'd had a good sleep looked at the clock and found out I'd been asleep for just  1 and a 1/2 hours  this is my sleeping pattern since this Op.