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Exhausted of it all

Posted , 4 users are following.

Babette
Babette

Hi everyone,

Been suffering with panic attacks/anxiety for about 15 years but my anxiety has really been up and down since August and even more so In the last 6/8 weeks. Have gone from 20 to 30mg with my citalopram but didn't feel good so went down to 25mg roughly 2 weeks ago. Have started propranolol last week. Have been feeling tired and rather low. Christmas is coming I should be excited and happy but I'm not sad can't get into it this year and it's really worrying me. I feel like I want to cry or scream or like I should have panic attacks but it feels like the med is stoping me from having the physical symptoms however the mental ones are still there which are really scary. Everything feels too much right now sad we r going away on boxing day for 2 weeks and apart from dread and worry I can't feel anything else. I'm terrified to get the plane and even more so to be unwell in a different country. Why am I not happy?! It's driving me insane!! Why can't I just chill or let go of things like most people!! Have become incredibly sensitive to noise! Like loud banging kind of music, my neighbours noise or screaming children are all things that are making me very unhappy and that provoke my attacks. I feel insane its ridiculous. Is it this med or is it just me that will always feel anxious? Won't be able to stand noise? Can't let go of things? Thinks far too much? Feels constantly guilty? Terrified of flying because I hate being trapped? Unhappy as I don't know places and I don't know if its h

0 likes, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • dana50554
    dana50554 Babette

    Posted

    how long have you been on meds ?
    • Babette
      Babette dana50554

      Posted

      Hi Dana,

      I have been on citalopram for about 13 years (mostly 20mg)!but have reduced it to 10mg this summer. Didn't go down well and that's when I started going back on the 20mg in August again. Took a few weeks to settle, felt better but then had a blip again where we thought That an increase would help so I tried 30mg for 5 weeks but felt very anxious so that's why I'm on 25mg ATM (about 2 weeks). 

    • dana50554
      dana50554 Babette

      Posted

      Well some drug doses might make you even more stressed and the fact that you can't feel the physical things makes me almost sure that 25mg are way too strong for you i think you should stick with 20mg
    • Babette
      Babette dana50554

      Posted

      Thanks Dana, I will call my GP next week, you are probably right. X
  • Babette
    Babette

    Posted

    Sorry I sent it too quick.

    ...if it's gonna be nice and cosy?...

    I just wanna be happy and I don't want to feel anxious like this! I wanna get into the Christmas spirit, i wanna forget about my noisy neighbours, I don't wanna dread coming home especially the weekends by fear of hearing loud music... What can I do to feel better and ok and get excited about Christmas and our holiday! I need to be well and in control!! Do you think its the med? I just hate it so much but I really don't want to change the dosage anymore... What can I do? Hate having those feelings of having panic attacks yet not properly as the physical symptoms have subsided.. It's even worse as now it's only the thoughts which are equally or even more terrifying. I'm sorry it's so long I'm just desperate to find someone that feels the same and someone that can reassure me. And yes I have had CBT but it did not work for me. Will I be fine for in 2 weeks time? Right now I'm so not looking forward to the festivities sad it's just pure stress to pretend to be well sad I so need to be well I can not ruin our holiday sad

    Thank you for reading x

    • dana50554
      dana50554 Babette

      Posted

      My advice for you is to forget about the meds try to find the peace within you don't fight your anxiety because it has became a part of you now don't think about tomorrow it will be just fine you survived your panic attacks before nothing new is gonna happen belive me i have been through all that and i can assure you that a panic attack is your bidy's way of protecting itself from the unkown
    • Babette
      Babette dana50554

      Posted

      You are so right about that, yet when it happens I forget everything I know, I'm terrified, feel mad, jelly ish, vomit, de realisation, shake... It's just horrid. Those feelings are so strong! And always feels like I'm the only one that goes through it so bad..
    • dana50554
      dana50554 Babette

      Posted

      well who am i kidding i feel the same as you when an attack comes my mind is so convinced it's true. I feel sometimes like there are two people inside my head or something on one hand i know it's not true and on the other hand my body is playing the part idk
  • louise1974
    louise1974 Babette

    Posted

    Hi Babette

    Have you been going through stress in your life recently?  Calm down cos I think these feelings are normal for anyone that isn't suffering from anxiety.  When we are stressed we are sensitive to any little thing, noise, people, crowds etc.  I can't do food shopping in supermarkets without raging.  I've just been through 5 years of extreme stress with one thing or another and this is the first year I'm actually NOT stressed and it feels odd, I'm stressed about not being stressed if that sounds right.  

    I'm terrified of flying because I'm terrified of flying but also hate being trapped.  I'ts not insane or riduculous it's just the way you feel right now. Take one day as it comes, try not to look ahead till the next day and just work like that xx

    • Babette
      Babette louise1974

      Posted

      Hi Louise,

      Thank you for your message. I'm having some back problems which means I had to spend a lot of time at home this year which I don't like, but I should be used to this as I had back problems for years.. Had surgery twice so I don't really understand... I know that with the festivities as well and/or time off I worry I'll get bored then too much time to think then panic attacks... sad so ridiculous isn't? I totally understand about being stressed of not being stressed. When we are used to a certain way it's not easy to accept a new feeling/way/vision/experience... I guess its a bit like me right now where I'm like I'm supposed to have full blown up panic attacks when feeling this way but it's not fully happening so it's stressing me out and I try to analyse and understand why... Overanalyse even... It's mad to realise how powerful our minds and bodies are.. 

      Thank you again x

    • gillian20097
      gillian20097 Babette

      Posted

      Hello.

      I know from personal experience that I always suffer heightened anxiety for about a month with each increase in my medication but it's usually worth sticking with the increase as once my body gets used to the new dose,I find it very beneficial.

      I think you have gotten yourself into a bit of a muddle what with Christmas and your holiday and no doubt other things in your life. When you are a little vulnerable still,taking on too much can overwhelm us and trigger a reaction. When I feel overwhelmed or overly anxious I tell myself that it's my minds way of letting me know I need to slow down,ease the burden.

      Its a few weeks off Cgristmas yet Hun so if you could possibly try and find ways to get some time just for you where you can pamper yourself and give yourself some positive self talk and relaxation xxx

    • Babette
      Babette gillian20097

      Posted

      Thank you so much Gillian. I'm glad to know that you are feeling better and hopefully my medication will settle soon too. X
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