existential

Okay first off, take a deep breathe lol. It's just a class and philosophy is just a way of thinking at things. You're life has purpose. I promise, I don't think that's what the class is trying to maks you look at things.. have you talked to the teacher? I think you should just to clear things up. Get out of your head, it's unhealthy to be questioning things all the time. If it's causing you to physically worry all the time maybe you should try something else.

Would have been better if the reverse occurred and you became spiritual. But this can happen. It messes with the mind a bit.so do all those conspiracy things. philosphy is there to figure out  develop life, or the existence of life. Just a load of different theories and enlightenments of some dude hanging around on a mountain top (adding humor).  Some of it is like the negative end of  viewing our existence and the enviornment around us. Or your professor is a negative guy teaching it from a dead end perspective.

life is beautiful. Thats what it is. Miracles occur all around you daily. We exist so we are. Think in a way that within your soul is divine love but the environment tends to dampen that with materialistic needs and man made fears. also know as the ego. Everything you need you have. Be grateful and appreciate the world, nature and find good in all you u can. A different take on philosophy for you to mix in the negative aspect you are viewing,

you are a soul residing in a body on a journey filled with life lessons. A trip for the soul. So yes you have a purpose. Everyone does. Everyone is at different stages in their journey or experiences. In the end we are all one. One big energy. Fragmented into pieces into bodies known as life. So really we should all be kind and loving to each other and stop being so materialistic and greedy. Stop thinking anyone is below you or better then you everyones on a even keel. Haha that was in response to your existence and its purpose.

philosophy is interesting. But incomplete and not taught very well by most professors. Just people looking for answers, some with limited knowledge, some high (lol) and some just taking a pot guess maybe to feed their own egos, who knows. 

Dont label what is happening to you. Dont focus that it has to be a disorder because your are trying to wrap yourself ur mind around what you are learning. Maybe it will leave you open minded enough to take it to another level. A positive level. Maslows heirarchy of needs explains that better.

I have no clue of that helped you at all. But i did get the only A in my class back in college in Philosphy. 🤗 It was never meant for us to have the answers or we would be born knowing them. It would ruin the whole experience if we all knew everything. So dont focus on dark stuff. 

I promise you love you were not plaved on this Earth to safely arrive to your death. Live and enjoy and appreciate the beauty around you. That in itself is a life lesson for many.

just giving this post a whirl. Hope it helped.

I think these things all the time! And aslo have anxiety and depersonlisation, think the key is to not react to the thoughts your having, like just say to your thoughts, ' I'm just having thoughts about life' don't react to them let your mind wonder it doesn't matter how we got here! Just enjoy being human! (Very hard when suffering from depersonlisation ) but I've just got a don't care attitude, there's nothing you can do, we will never know how things began, not reacting to the thoughts does work, take the fear out and the obession stops