experiences of GAD and relationships

Posted , 3 users are following.

Hi,

I just wanted to get other's experiences of how GAD affects your relationships. 

Personally, I have found that friends invite me to parties (one of my worst nightmares) Or events and when I say no, they havent really understood in the past. I've had arguments over keep saying no - they felt I wasn't being a good friend. Or, I'd go but feel super awkward and panicked and I hated every second

when it got to this stage, I had to explain that I feel extremely uncomfortable in large groups and feel much happier in smaller ones. I don't know about anyone else, but I haven't really told my friends about GAD. What have others done? Is it a good idea to tell them or not?

I have told my partner, who is the total opposite to me - he's so chilled out that he's horizontal!! (Don't we all wish we had this?) He's being as supportive as he can be but because he's so laid back, I don't think he gets it. Plus, I think he's getting fed up of continuously re-affirming that our relationship is ok (I even get on my own nerves). I'm terrified he will leave me and I'm very upset and tearful every day about it.

what are others stories? Can anyone relate?

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi i have similar issues im trying to deal with i hate confrontation and i feel in large groups this will happen so i try to avoid best i can its so much worse when there is only a hand full of people i know 

    My partner is the same so laid back about everything hes supportive dont get me wrong but i sometimes think he doesnt quiet understand the way i feel about thinks and im constantly asking for reassurance that were ok we have a son a house and a wedding coming up but im terrifed he will one day just get fed up with the way iam i also suffer with health anxiety and depression and im on medication and seeing a counsellor which i find helps so much always feel better once had a session feel i can take on the world untill something makes me come back down to earth with a bang then back to square one i have got better over time still have bad days and have some really good days where non of my issues are a problem just learning to deal with it is hard just remember you are not on your own we are here to talk to take care xx 

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    • Posted

      Sophie, thanks so much for your reply. Everything you've said that you worry about could have come out of my own brain. It's nice knowing I'm not alone.

      how do you cope with not letting your anxiety affect your relationship then? Any tips and hints would be super. X

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    • Posted

      Your very welcome its helped me knowing other people suffer as horrible as that sounds it makes me see i can come throught it 

      Talking with my partner about how im feeling helps even tho he doesnt understand as he has never suffered he supports me when having low days he tells me everything is fine 

      I try and keep busy (with a 7 year old and 11 month old that's not hard lol) if I'm feeling aniexty or panicky i go and do something to take my mind of it i.e i will clean the bathroom sort clothes out re arrange stuff it sounds daft but it helps me even pack the kids up and go for a walk anything that stops me from thinking i over think things which makes it all seem a lot worse he tends to leave me alone of he hears me clattering about he knows thats  when i need to just get out the situation also talking to someone while feeling panicky helps just pick up the phone call someone who know who can just talk to keep you calm when feeling at your worst helps xx

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    • Posted

      Hi Sophie, 

      that's all really great advice. I will try to do something to distract myself and remove myself from the situation if I get anxiety. I can do that. thank you.

      One of the things that's helped me from CBT is that I realised when I'm anxious, I'm not really in the present (in mind). I'm either thinking of the past, the future or something that may or may not happen. To bring my mind back in the room, they suggested trying to focus on the sounds, the temperature, the colour of the walls - anything that will bring you back in the room and take you away from focusing on what's causing the anxiety. That's worked for me. 

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    • Posted

      Your welcome smile 

      That is exactly what happens to me i over think whatever is happening at that moment i get blinded sighted and just focus on the negatives rather than all the good thats happening around me and while in that moment nothing i can do seems to get me back untill ive either cried my self silly or rang someone for reassurance so when i feel it building which it does i just remove myself from situation as a distraction! My cbt has helped me through some bad days im dreading the day it comes to an end but hopefully by then i will have it under control xx

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    • Posted

      It seems as though you already have some really useful strategies. I'm going to try them myself. Thanks so much for the advice and I wish you all the best. Let me know how you get on smile
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  • Posted

    Im the same, although i wasn't always! I used to love a good boogey and drink when i was younger but just hate it now! If any one manages to persuade me to go out, i sit uncomfortable while they all dance and get drunk, i make sure i drive to the venue so that i dont have to join in with the drinking, and when everyone is too drunk to care, i sneak off... Such fun! Not!
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    • Posted

      Tracie, thanks for getting back to me. 

      When I was a teenager, I did have 2 years almost anxiety free between age 16-18 when I made some really good friends who I trusted a lot and, like you, I also went out. Perhaps teenage hormones took over or something. That was a very, very, very long time ago now. Like you, I will go out now, but only if I have to. I feel sick and sometimes be sick before I go out, I can't sleep days before, my stomach hurts and I have to visit the loo frequently. I tremble badly and I feel like I can't breathe. My heart feels like it'll explode and I'd just rather avoid feeling that way. I've been told avoiding your anxiety provoking situations actually makes it harder the next time though and I guess I'd agree with that. I've got into a spiral of not going out and it's not nice. I'd like to have friends and go out. Being lonely is rubbish. I'd like to try to do some mini steps to overcome it but the problem is that no one now invites me out Because of all the times I said no - which doesn't particularly help the low self esteem. 

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