Explanation

Posted , 6 users are following.

What is the best or easiest way to explain to a potential sex partner that I have this skin condition? Without them freaking out?

1 like, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • Posted

    Before I was diagnosed, but I knew something was wrong, I simply said my parts were fragile and we had to approach gently and be prepared for things to have to come to a halt. I had 'Yes!' cream on hand, which helped a lot. This worked fine.

    Some years later after diagnosis and fairly successful treatment I was back on the dating scene and I tried full disclosure early on. That did not go well. If someone has no investment in you, no appreciation of your special good qualities, why would they bother if they already have to lower their sexual expectations?

    We're on the men's version of LS here and I can't tell by your name whether you're male, but I'm a 64 year-old woman.

    • Posted

      I am a 48 year old female.  I tried full disclosure as well and all I got was a look of disgust.  I'm sure I would feel the same had someone said to me...hey I have a skin condition called Lichen sclerosis.  lol  I guess I am not under control yet.  I guess I was in denial.  So I've ordered my cream and am going to start using it faithfully.  Thank you for your input!
  • Posted

    Hi Chris,

    Great question. I agree with Morrell.  If you have the LS situation more or less under control, it's probably best to explain a sensitivity or fragility at first. If things progress and you feel your partner has real feelings for you, then you can be more detailed.  Since it's an auto-immune thing and not contagious, I don't think you have a responsibility to give full disclosure up front.  

    I was diagnosed after being with my boyfriend for several months. At first, I assumed my problems were a result of  menopause, and that's what I told him.  Later, when I was diagnosed, I nervously told him the whole story, and he took it very well.  We even went on line together to research it.  I'm fairly certain if I'd hit him with it right off the bat, his reaction would not have been so understanding though.  

    We've since broken up, for other reasons, so I'm looking forward to hearing how other women have handled new relationships.

    Anna

    • Posted

      I also have used the menopause excuse of needing lube but even that brings a look of weirdness.  Men just don't understand I guess?  or I'm picking the wrong guys!  smile  Thanks for your help and insight!
  • Posted

    Hi Chris, so much depends how the LS affects you - however LS is not contagious - it is an auto immune condition as has been pointed out by Anna. If entry is painful then a LOT of lubrication and say your undercarriage has  a small entry so to stop hurting or causing damage  to you a slow gentle start please  and take it from there

    If as Morrell suggests you might be a  male it also depends how LS affects you, normally the foreskin is affected so sore, perhaps a condom with added lube could be an answer, otherwise i am at a loss to give any help

    when iI found out the cause of my issue and i told my sexual partner he said he wanted to help in any way he could and is very patient

    Good luck

  • Posted

    I am now in a loving relationship and have used the small and fragile comment. Luckily for me he is the most gentle and patient lover. Amazing as I have never known that in a man. Yes it has been difficult at times so not always rosy however I have my LS under control now after a lot of hard work research and advice from this site. Now I know him better if it flares up again ( torture as you all know) then I will explain. It's a difficult call and depends totally on the relationship and how close you are. Full disclosure at the beginning ?? No I wouldn't...no more than I would openly discuss it with new female friends.

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