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Extreme anxiety following bereavement of my Wife

Posted , 5 users are following.

ArthurDent
ArthurDent

Have Extreme anxiety following bereavement of my Wife, was on Citalopram 50 mg but doctor changed me to Sertraline 100mg then last week to 150mg as he said this is stronger, am still near to tears on day, don’t go to bed till 2am struggle to get up at 2pm, no interest in anything, live alone, have some family support, but not enough really, getting anxious driving, so not sure if I could feel safe driving to a hospice for counselling. Also recently acquired mild tinnitus, which during quiet moments, and theirs a lot, it’s really annoying. Don’t know what started it, nothing to do with loud noises.

Considering asking for diazepam, for the worst times.

Also started getting slight headaches, could be the tinnitus 🤷

Getting fed up with it all…😰

1 like, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • jan34534
    jan34534 ArthurDent

    Edited

    I am so sorry for your loss. I’m sure it must be very difficult for you. But please remember that there is a lot of support that you can get for this.

    I want to tell you that you can get counseling where you don’t even have to leave your house. I do virtual online counseling and it works great! I don’t have to go anywhere.you can check with your insurance or call them to get the names of some grief counselors. Also check with your local community or Community centers, hospitals, churches because many of them have grief support groups! or you can go online to find grief support groups in your area when you feel more relaxed about driving.

    You don’t have to go through this alone.

    tinnitus can develop due to stress and anxiety. I’ve had it for a while now because of anxiety. when it bothers you during quiet times, you can turn on some music or what I really like when I’m sleeping is white noise that you can find on YouTube. headaches can also be due to stress and anxiety.

    But if you haven’t had a complete physical exam within the past year or so you might think about doing that also., and getting the tinnitus checked out .

    I Think right now the best thing for you is support. You need to talk to somebody such as a counselor online.

    It’s not good to be alone all of the time during a time like this. It will take time but little by little you will start to feel better.

    other things that are important for you to feel a little better would be getting a little bit of exercise even if it’s just walking short distances right now. get some fresh air.

    its important for you to take care of yourself. Reach out for some support. We are here for you and let us know how you are doing! ❤

  • ArthurDent
    ArthurDent

    Edited

    thank you for your kind words

    😎

  • sasical72
    sasical72 ArthurDent

    Edited

    Hello,

    Very sorry for your loss.

    Just wanted to say that it's important to accept that all these feelings are normal and that they will pass.

    Nowadays grief is (like evrything else) is very medicalised, as if it is an illness. It isn't, it's a natural process that one has to go through, you will, in time, start to feel better.

    Obviously if you could get some support it would be much better.

    I don't know if some form of exercise is an option for you? As that would also help.

    And in Youtube there are some grief meditations that can also be helpful.

    Take care and keep posting 🙏

  • ArthurDent
    ArthurDent

    Edited

    thank you

    i am on an antidepressant but not helping much so far, i have lots of meditative music, but mostly makes me cry, although does feel comforting, haven't listened to any in ages. part of the problem is feeling abandoned. my kids all have their own lives, and I think they just forget about me, I've told them how much i am suffering, but i just get, " you're doing really well" or " hopefully it will get better soon" while my Wife was alive, they were forever phoning texting visiting etc. and I believe if she were now here instead of me, it would be the same. Everything around me reminds me of my Wife Linda, which is comforting and upsetting.

    oh well back to my daily routine, get up, have breakfast, watch TV, play IPAD games, lunch, more TV, dinner, more TV, then bed.

    Life was so good when my Linda was here, in the last year or so we didn't do much, but we had each other, and that was enough.

    thanks for listening

    Keith

    • sasical72
      sasical72 ArthurDent

      Posted

      Keith, I really am sorry.

      I'm sure a bereavement group would help. Also, if you feel up to it, any kind of activity where you can meet people.

      For example, I run a bookclub in my local library, a new lady has joined who lost her husband a couple of years ago, but due to Covid has not had a chance to get out and meet new people and she was very lonely, she enjoys coming and chatting and she might make some friends, anyway, this is just an example or suggestion.

      But please don't be hard on yourself and allow yourself time.

    • ArthurDent
      ArthurDent sasical72

      Edited

      i have some ideas, but everything seems so scary, especially covid, hope to go for a swim, might tick a few boxes.

      wish this forum had better spell checking and prediction

      thank you

  • barbara66703
    barbara66703 ArthurDent

    Edited

    Your post touched my heart. I have felt your sorrow deeply - for I have lived it, and had to fight hard to push through the vice grip of mourning that can lock us in loss...

    The absence of the ones we love is a permanent hole in our hearts, which matches the deep bond you still share...and always will. The challenge is refilling the sadness you carry with a lighter heart, filled with only the most beautiful, joyful memories.

    Allow yourself time to heal, and let life lead you to a gentle place. It will...

    Why things happen like this I will never understand, but try to surround yourself with things and people who would bring you calm. I set up a memory tree for my loved ones and wrote a great deal in my journal. Just know I will keep you both in my prayers, that your sorrow eases, and only your happiest memories replace the saddest ones...Your are loved dearly, and always will. Your children are grieving along side with you. Now she will help you come through this time of deep mourning, in the most unexpected ways...calm you, give you strength to continue your life as best you can because you know she would want the best for you now and forever.

    Try online counselling or group, helped me a lot. I was ready to do the work it takes to get thru the lonely stages of grieving.

  • ArthurDent
    ArthurDent

    Edited

    thank you so much fir your kind words

    ❤️

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