extreme brain tumor fear
Posted , 5 users are following.
I am a 20 yo female and since May of 2015 I have been experiencing very strange and disturbing symptoms that at this point I am convinced I am going to die within the year and go back and forth with these thoughts. It is important to note that have serious anxiety, have had it all my life but after atraumatic event i felt a slight sense of derealization or brain fog back in May. I immediately attributed this to a brain tumor and went to my GP and received a neurological exam, eye exams, and blood tests which came back as normal, attributed this to GAD. An MRI was not recommended and of course I was terrified of that so I have never had one. I had a serious neck injury several years ago that never truly healed and simultaneously was experiencing neck pain again so I started seeing a chiropractor and it was determined my C1 and C2 and lower spine as well were severely and moderately subluxated. Within 4 hours after the first adjustment, I felt a strange sensation in my inner cheek that I would describe as fullness, not necessarily numb. I continued going 2x a week all summer and eventually this same feel spread throughout the same side of my face. Not numb, more of a "pulling" "pressurized sensation. Concurrently, my anxiety has been getting much worse since and I have panic attacks fairly regularly and was recently prescribed xanax which is the only way I can stop thinking Im dying.Unfortnately, I attribute these attacks as being pre-seizures. Every day I think today will be the day of diagnosis, but I am too afraid to actually get an MRI because I'd rather live in ignorance as long as possible before my life is ruined and given an expiration date. Current symptoms still allow me to live my life, I'm in college, doing well, have friends, energy etc but this fear never leaves. Are my fears based in reality or can anxiety or possible nerve damage from these chiro sessions be the explanation? PLEASE someone help/ reassure/ guide me. The only hope I have is that its extremely strange all these symptoms began after I started seeing this chiro. All of these physical symptoms are worsened when I smoke weed, but it calms the thoughts down
* pressureized/ tingling on left side of face, cheek under eye. (intermittent, helped by xanax), comes and goes
*tighter muscles when closing that side's eye
*left leg will feel "weird" but works completely functional, have had weakness measured, not weaker than the other, i go to the gym daily and do all normal things
*occasional very inner ear blocking ?
*still have neck pain, reverse curve was shown on X-ray
*currently (recently terrified) cluster tension/ burning like head scalp pain on the right side. not necessarily a headache or migraine.
* both eyes will intermittently just feel weird, pressure behind them
* panic attacks, been obsessed with brain cancer since a girl i saw on the news died at 17 a few years ago.
*alternating head pressure on right side
*recently mind pops, memories (not flashbacks) of random events and occurences from anywhere from months to years ago.
i have a spine MRi scheduled but im terrified it will show up nothing and ill be forced to face this reality. anyone who has actually had brain cancer please offer insight
please someone help me and respond. sometimes i can convince myself that I am experiencing nerve damage/ peripheral neuropathy or even psychosomatic symptoms. however it has been 7 months. i really don't want to die and every day I envision sitting in a doctors office being told I have stage 3/4 GBM or DIPG.
0 likes, 13 replies
broadsword samantha70490
Posted
Dear Samantha
in my opinion, and it is not a professional one, your symptoms are not of a brain tumour. I have led a healthy life but now have a stage 4 GBM so understand fully about tumours.
you have had thorough examinations and considerate treatment it seems and to give you the reassurance you need does need a sympathetic touch.
It is not my place to explore your drug drug habits but I seriously doubt that "weed" can help, given its physiological effects.
your symptoms might come from any of the origins you describe and not helped by the heightened anxiety.
I wish you well as your further examinations rule out some of the possible conditions. I hope you will be well soon
The statistics for GBM are not good, and I suspect you will be posting updates long after I no longer can do so.
broadsword samantha70490
Posted
Dear Samantha
Further to my reply this morning, I happened across a report in today's newspaper, about anxiety and cancer.. Daily Telegraph page 2 but Although I took a shot of the page, I could not paste it here.. The research was specific to men it seems but I thought it might interest you. Additionally I believe you also said that some of your symptoms may have been made worse by your chiropractor visits. Have you thought of taking a break from these treatments to see if your symptoms improve?
Regards
samantha70490 broadsword
Posted
Thank you so much for your reply. I will definitely look up the article. I have stopped seeing the chiropractor fro almost a year now... But my neck is still in pain and I am hoping these symptoms can be attributed to that. May I ask what exactly were your symptoms, for how long did you have them prior to diagnosis/ what led to diagnosis and did you think you had a BT or were you completely shocked? I'm so sorry you've received this diagnosis ... Sorry about the questions I just need some answers for someone who actually has this diagnosis. how old are you?
broadsword samantha70490
Posted
Dear Samantha
I am in my 60s and like all cancers, the likelihood increases with age.
I have been healthy all my life but in March my wife spotted symptoms for which I was in denial. Initially I lost weight because I had no,appetite. Weight loss can be a cancer symptom but not prevalent in brain tumours.
The àcute symptoms were those of a stroke. Lack of co-ordination and facial drooping. I could barely write or read my own writing. Because I work and volunteer in a clinical setting, Inwas transported to hospital quickly was diagnosed and had early neurosurgery to remove much of a malignant tumour. Radiotherapy and chemotherapy have followed. Six months later I do not regard myself as very sick although the future is far from certain. I do not feel ill although treatments have had side effects And I lack energy. I do not lead the life I once did, but am far from incapacitated and my wife cares for me well including regular observations and injections to prevent DVT one of the side effects I have sufferered.
i hope this helps and am prepared to answer any questions. I wish you well and soon.
samantha70490 broadsword
Posted
thank you so much for your reply.. i wish you the best and am sofry youre dealing with this disease.
if i may ask, how long before symptoms appeared and diagnosis was given?
broadsword samantha70490
Posted
Dear Samantha
First symptoms were in March. After hospital admission just a few days later and scans I knew there was a "mass" but did not know it was malignant until after lab analysis and that was after 5 hours of removing 95% of the growth. My surgeon had though predicted it was malignant and I would need radio and chemotherapy. My oncologist filled the gaps and began follow up treatment after discharge, some 10 days after surgery. I have been treated well but the various meds have had lots of side effects which I'd rather not have and the prognosis remains poor even if I feel well, except for tiredness. I'll know more about any new growth after a scan tomorrow has been analysed. The longer the octopus ( as my clinicians call it ) stays away, the better it is. It's the tentacles that come back, regrow, and get you it seems
Your own symptoms can have many and multiple origins and you may have explored sinus issues, eye problems and all increased by anxiety. It is key to have a good and understanding Gp who can rule out the really unwelcome causes.
Best wishes
Brian
samantha70490 broadsword
Posted
thanks brian.. much appreicated. i hope your scans remain stable. i have a lot of cervical neck issues that i do not know the extent of that i am hoping are the root of some of these seemingly neurological issues. i know youre not a doctor but from personal experience do you think that since it has been a year and a half with these same symptoms, with no real change, should that indicate to me that this isn't brain cancer? others have told me this would progress rapidly and wouldnt just be minor annoyances.. wondering what your take would be on that. once again thank you!
broadsword samantha70490
Posted
since so long has elapsed I would truly expect any tumour symptoms to have advanced. Even a benign tumour would possibly occupy more space and increase symptoms. That your neurological symptoms are not worse, is positive. Many brain tumour patients appear to have fits/convulsions as early symptoms. Luckily I avoided that but now have preventative medication to reduce the risks from a convulsion that could occur in a dangerous environment or cause injury. Early on I was advised that cardiac arrest is a side effect. My research showed it can be survivable with prompt treatment. My wife is clinically trained as a responder and a defibb goes everywhere with us.
i hope that your symptoms point to a condition/conditions that are readily amenable to treatment. Although I do not decry alternative medicines ( although for my tumour certainly not the mainstream remedy ) I generally feel that conventional medicine should be the first point of call. Lifestyle choices also can have adverse effect ( alcohol, recreational drugs etc ). Although not specifically in cancers I have seen these effects in patients to their overall detriment of whatever they present with.
Take great care and get your unpleasant symptoms resolved which should reduce the anxiety you feel.
laura48798 broadsword
Posted
Hi Brian,
I have been reading your post with regards to your illness and I'm very sorry.
I have been having headpain/pressure for some time now along with dizziness, also have neck pain which could well be causing the head pain. This has been going on and off since September, some days are better than others and some days I don't feel any pain atall. I just want some advice on whether you think it's cancer related? I have seen a GP twice and also had full blood tests back in November, would blood tests pick up any form of tumour??? Please help with your sound advice.
broadsword laura48798
Posted
A blood test might pick up inflammation but that could be from many causes. There could be many causes of your symptoms. I still think a return trip to your GP is needed if you are no better. Symptoms of brain, head and neck cancers vary but neurological symptoms, like a facial droop, slurred speech or bad handwriting, not there before, or any kind of fit, or one sided weakness would be real warning signs as would parts not working as they should. All very similar to the signs for a stroke. A headache might be a symptom but more likely related to other illnesses from sinus, through eye-strain to stress. Reading tumour blogs, often hard reading, shows people ignoring symptoms until too late, or multiple visits to GPs. I lost weight, unusual for large me, 2 stone in a few months with no appetite and my doctor sent for off for gastroscopy which was negative. My wife, then a CFR recognised stroke symptoms which I ignored. It took a bad day in the company of paramedics (part of what I do) for them to spot the seriousness. I thought I was just tired. There was no one thing but an accumulation of things. A year later I am still here. Sadly only 1 in 5 are still with us. Best of luck
Brian
laura48798 broadsword
Posted
I am sorry to hear of your situation. I have not suffered any physical changes, I certainly have not lost weight, in fact the complete opposite!!!
I work at an airport as a check in agent so I work shifts so awake at all sorts of times of the day. I also suffer from health anxiety, I had a neck xray not too long ago due to the pain I was having, results came back as degenerative due to age and wear and tear, I'm sure if there was any mass this would have shown up on my X-ray??
broadsword laura48798
Posted
weight loss is not always a cancer symptom, it depends on the cancer. The wear and tear in the x-ray probably tell you everything given your job. I guess you get to move cases, suffer tiredness, and have to work in ways that do not help your neck. Any mass might not show in x-rays though, it generally needs a scan to do that. The health anxiety does not help. I am sorry though it must be worrying and painful. Sometimes you have to make the best of things- how I want to be without any guarantees- but it is not easy.
i wish you well
Brian
broadsword samantha70490
Posted
Brain tumour symptoms
Symptom
Comment
Headaches
Headaches which are more severe in the morning and wake you in the night. They are usually different from headaches you might have had previously and will be persistent and worsen with time
Nausea and vomiting
With a headache this can indicate increased pressure in the head (raised intracranial pressure).
Seizures
A seizure is abnormal electrical impulses in the brain, causing sudden involuntary changes in movement or function, sensation, awareness, or behaviour. A first time seizure in an adult is often investigated.
Weakness, loss of sensation or numbness
This is a sign of pressure on (or damage to) a specific part of the brain and can also be manifested through walking unsteadily or lack of coordination (ataxia) or muscle weakness on one side of the body (hemiparesis).
Hearing loss
Could be a sign of an acoustic neuroma if it occurs only on one side.
Loss/disturbance of vision, including double vision
In one or both eyes could be a symptom, if there is a tumour pressing on the optic nerve or there is one affecting the visual pathways or if there is raised intracranial pressure.
Speech difficulties
May also include the loss of ability to write, speak or understand words. A person may have difficulty getting the right words out (expressive dysphasia) or difficulty articulating them (dysarthia).
Other brain tumour symptoms
Lack of concentration, confusion, memory loss, disorientation, drowsiness, change in behaviour.