Extreme insomnia for 5 months, brain forgot how to sleep...Only light sleep in 1hr blocks :( HELP!!!
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hello, I am sure my brain is turning into mush after 5 months of severe insomnia. i had very mild insomnia before for a few years, but after a trigger of a lot of emotional stress in March, i completely lost the ability to sleep.
It started from having no sleep for 10 days straight, and i know that initially it started due to a fear that i would die from sleep deprivation. then i got very depressed and have been living in a constant brain fog. i tried natural remedies for a month and nothing helped...i just continued to get very light/conscious sleep if anything, and id get up extrememly exhausted and would cry all day. i even ended up at the hospital for2 weeks where they tried EVERYTHING under the sun (trazadone, doxepin, gabapentin, seroquel, ambien), and the only thing that would get me sleep 3-4 hours max was combining one of these drugs with a heavy benzo. on some days i still got 0 hours on the benzos, so i stopped taking them. this has been a nightmare and completely debilitating. ive lost everything, my job, my boyfriend, and now about to loose my apartment because i can no longer afford it.
i now only get very light sleep where i feel conscious the entire time, i can hear all my surroundings and im looking at the minutes go by on the clock, so i know im awake but just resting. Every few days ill have whats feels like very light sleep in one hour blocks only....but i only think ive fallen asleep briefly bcs i remember a dream, although i feel like ive been awake, if that makes any sense. maybe im going i to REM immediately since im so sleep deprived, or maybe im hallucinating in my semi conscious light sleep. Anyway, only been able to sleep 1-2 hours every few days, sometime 0 hours! i can only sleep 3 hrs on benzos, but i dont want to take them (just take one per week to get some relief bcs my depression has skyrocketed bcs of this, but i feel like ive surrendered and accepted that i will slowly deteriorate, and thankfully ive become less anxious but that hasnt help resolved the problem. maybe my brain got use to not sleeping anymore so even if i try not to worry about sleep anymore, it doesnt matter cause its is now programmed to get light sleep/rest only. i know that i havent gotten any real deep sleep since this all started and im so worried that my brain simply forgot due to making up for prolonged sleep deprivation.
also, any time i do realized that ive been dreaming (again, only one hour blocks) i become more alert and my head hurts...i feel brain zaps and the ringing in my ears get so lous! anyone experiece this? i know its the electrical activity in my brain rocking my nerve cells bcs of the severe sleep deprivation...also i sometime feel like im goign into sleep paralysis over and over again. i. constant brain fog all day and feel soooo tired, and bcs of that i dont every feel "sleepy", ive completely lost my sleep drive even though im sooooo exhausted 😦
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