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Hi Everyone! So I have written in this forum before. I've realized that just writing down my thoughts and then hearing from others who can relate, helps a lot.
Today has been a difficult day for me. I've noticed that some days are better than others. Today isn't so bad but def still difficult. I have these moments where I feel my overthinking and extreme worrying start to take over. I just want to be normal and not have these ridiculous thoughts that I do all day long.
I definitely have OCD. And I notice how much it really affects the way I function on a daily basis. I notice that anytime there is something that is going good for me, I find reasons why I don't deserve it or why I'm not worthy of having it in my life. Anything that really means a lot to me, I get so afraid that I don't deserve it and that it's just too good for me. I am constantly making myself feel like I'm a bad person. I have a lot of negative thoughts running through my mind on a daily basis.
I think the biggest thing that triggers my anxiety disorder is my fear of how people perceive me to be. I really need reassurance from others in order to feel like I'm doing things right or that I'm a good person. Everything I do or say in front of people, I analyze. I try and figure out what they are thinking and how they are judging me. I just want everyone To like me and think I'm a good person. I try to relate to everyone so that they have a positive view of me. I am always in fear of people getting the wrong idea or misinterpreting something I said and in doing so, they think I'm a terrible person.
Thanks for taking the time to read my long post and I look forward to hearing anything you have to say about it.
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