Extremely depressed, don't know what to do anymore.

Posted , 6 users are following.

It started about two months ago, on September 29th.

    "I had I bad episode of a panic attack. I ate a little more then I usually do, and I had a very bad feeling in my chest and my heart was racing so we went to the emergency room. They tested my blood, did chest x-rays, and I had an ekg done.

     Then it happend again, and I went straight back to the ER. I was then transported to Riley's Children Hospital. ( A very great place, lots of high tech stuff and what-not. ) I had an echocardiogram done at Rileys, an ekg, multiple blood tests, and everything came back fine. Including the visits from the ER, everything was fine also.

     I then went to the ER three more times, each time they did the same tests and my heart was very good and healthy. I still feel like my heart can stop though, and I get scared ever night. I even had to sleep with my parents one night. After the episode is over I usually break down and cry until I can't cry anymore. I am seeing a psychologist on monday, thankfully, and I hope he can help me also.

    My main point is that I am afraid there is actually something wrong with my heart, and I am afraid of sudden death. Just recently I went to an urgent care center and had a cat scan where they injected some kind of dye in me to see if there were any blood clots or risk of a blood clot. I can't deal with this anymore and I often think about suicide when I break down. I am so afraid of sudden death and I always think the doctors missed something in all of the tests. 

( I am a 14 year old male by the way. ) "

This is a post i made awhile ago for those of you who are not informed of my situation. It has been a couple weeks since this discussion and things have gotten worse. A lot worse. I started seeing a physcologist, and it is helping. I am also getting put on medicine for my anxiety and panic. I have drove my parents nearly insane, and I keep on thinking that my heart is going to stop. Everytime I lay down in my bed, thoughts go through my head saying " You are going to die, RIGHT now. " and I believe it every time. It is killing me, my parents, and my family. I have been thinking about suicide for a couple days now, and I don't know what to do anymore. I think my Anxiety is bringing on a lot of depression also. The monitor results came in, a whole 30 days filled with information. I pressed the button every time I felt weird or irregular. There is no possible way they could of missed something. They said that my heart is fine and there is no more cardiology needed, but I can't get myself to believe this. I am afraid to tell my psychologist and my parents. I don't know what to do now. Help?

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  • Posted

    I asked how many miles/kilometers are you jogging a day since that is what I did at exactly you age with the same symptoms, I got up to 10 miles or 14 kilometers, both are all good, you will know your heart is beating and can feel it ! 
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    • Posted

      Feeling my heartbeat makes things even worse. It is weird, if I don't feel my heartbeat I think I am going to go into cardiac arrest. If I do feel it I think I am having a heart attack.
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  • Posted

    Hi Brandon

    First I would like to say I'm so sorry you are going through this, you are way too young to be experiencing stuff like this, it's not fair.  Reading what you said it looks like you are suffering from anxiety.  Look at it realistically, if you were suffering some heart problems something would have been found now, and you probably wouldn't have this panic that come along with your symptoms.  I started with panic/anxiety when I was 17 (I'm 40 now) and I was really confused and scared, the doctor didn't really take me seriously because of my age and I spent an entire year thinking I was either dying or going mental.  

    I want to tell you that it WILL get better, the medication should help you.  Are you on anti depressants?  If you are these can take a while to kick in so do bear with them, they can also make your symptoms worse to start with.  It's completely normal do feel depressed by all of this, who wouldn't?  Alot of people on this forum will totally sympathise with what you are going through, it's very frightening even for an adult.  For 6 months earlier this year I felt exactly like you did, like something was really wrong with me and I clung to my husband like death.  

    I don't know if they're putting you on anxiety meds to calm you down but you probably need more long term help like anti deppresants by the sounds of it.  But please most of all know that what you are feeling is really common and it can be solved, don't do anything silly like harm yourself.  Anytime you feel like that talk to someone, your parents, a friend or ever someone on here.  I tell my kids all the time there is no problem that can't be solved and I'm a big believer in that.

    Big hugs Brandon xxx

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  • Posted

    Dear Brandon, I am so sorry that you are having problems young man,

    Anxiety is dreadful to Cope with ( I know myself ) . Please do not ever give up, the others are right, and also a good form of support, if you did have any problems the tests would have certainly picked them up by now.. I am sure that nobody would be angry if you still had concerns, but remember that every single doctor and specialist want to and have done their very best for you.... it really will get better young man every

    Day is another day closer to enjoying and living your life...

    I wish you so much luck and happiness xx Deirdre

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    • Posted

      HI Brandon. I know that is hard not to still worry, but please try

      To remember that every Doctor and every Specialist ( of any

      Type ) has to adhere to very, very strictly and also take an oath

      To in every way HAVE A DUTY OF CARE for you.. every single

      Doctor you see really wants to do their VERY best to help you

      And they take that very seriously...

      Please try everyday just to trust a little in their care for you....

      As I am sure you also know...

      YOUR PARENTS Would certainly make certain that they do their VERY, VERY best for you.... I wish you all the luck and happiness

      In the world young man.. have faith in your family... very best

      Sincere regards to you...DEE Deirdre...x

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  • Posted

    I have had several thallium treadmill stress tests over the years and 3 heart cath's all - clear, however the heart doctor did finally send me to a surgon for hiatal hernia repair  Nissan fundaplication , then I had to go thur it again, first doctor didnt tell me to quit wresteling
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  • Posted

    I thank you for this post because I thought I was the only one who felt this way and had this feeling. EverydY I also think that I am getting a heart attack or that my heart is simply going to stop it is the worst feeling in the world. Stay strong you're not alone. 
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    • Posted

      I know, isn't it just the most horrible feeling laying back and feeling like your heart will just stop? I get this weird adrenaline rush from my anxiety, and I can feel it go through my body and I think that may be one of the reasons why I think my heart is going to stop at the time.
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  • Posted

    that would be difficult to miss anything ? the isotopic treadmill study raidiates to each capillary and cell in your heart, the only thing it misses is nothing and the only thing thats better is heart cath and dr injects same dye only its on live TV, both are excellent test's, it is somthing else not your heart, have they ever drawn blood? if they did you would have enzymes from damaged heart cells if a problem existed, and you would not be typing here, you would be in hospital, all 3 of these tests are modern rapid diagnostic fool proof as they usually only have a few sec's to save you so it isnt your heart, 
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    • Posted

      yep, you are definitley having anxiety over your heart but that has been completly ruled out, now i will tell you that at your age you are starting to pay closer attention to changes in your body and you are Growing at a acclerated rate, hormones raging, been their done that, I grew from 5'1" to 6'3" in 3 1/2 years, and beleive me IT WAS painful, got to know what hurt ! anxiety with all these hormones raging isnt uncommon but id say with the test they have done you are ok, just the blood enzyme test is immeadiate and can tell if anything is going on or has gone on, 
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