Extremely lonely and depressed

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I am 27 years old I have been struggling with depression ever since I was 12 I've always been a loner because I have social anxiety I am completely terrified of people. I lost my Mom 2 years ago she was my only friend my days are now filled with complete loneliness and violets the so-called friends I have are online as in PSN but they hardly ever write me or talk to me. Everyday I get up take a shower get in the workout and then it hits me I'm all alone again I cry so much everyday I double up on my medication just to knock me out for hours on end so I won't have to stay awake and face the reality of being alone. I cut myself abused myself I pray for death but death Never Comes. So tired of suffering so afraid to commit suicide but that fear is slowly fading away I just want to be rid of these feelings I just want to be at peace with my mom why does no one love me

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  • Posted

    Hi kittroy,

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts , which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    Kindest regards

    Patient

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  • Posted

    Kittroy

    If you feel you whant to end it all contact NHS Information Line Tel 111 and explain how you are feeling, they will triage and if needed arrange assistance.

    If you are lonely, do you have any Mental Health Day Centres in your are where like minded people meet and befriend. There are many out there who are like you and are looking to find friends.

    If you book and attend some night classes that can also help as yo will again meet people who have the same interests as you have. You could also try walking groups in Spring/Summer and again you will get to meet more people that will help you

    Any diversion will help, it may be a Singles Club, that will also help. Friends on the net I am always cautious to meet, if you do meet in a busy placeĀ 

    BOB

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  • Posted

    Hello Kittroy. I hear you suffering and I hear your fear of people. And I want to tell you how sorry I am that you lost your mother I have lost my mother also and I know that is a huge loss in your life. Like you I was very close to my mother. 

    Have you given any thought to taking a small step at a time and making a phone call to one of the people mentioned in Bob's email or the Samaritans. Kittroy your mother would not want you to live this way and she would want you to reach out for help just one tiny step at a time. Can you do that? Or call your GP. Once you make your first call..the depression has lost some of its control over you. Will you get back to us? Diane. 

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  • Posted

    Hi kittroy - have you ever had any counselling over the loss of your mother? That could be a start. What do you like doing? Hobbies at all? Decide what you want to do, what gives you pleasure and search for a group that does it. How about joining a yoga class, or something along the lines of your gym where you have something to focus on and the opportunity to meet like-minded people? Loneliness is a common ailment today - I live that way too, which is afar cry from the glittering, social days of yesteryear. The first steps to socialisation will be difficult, but once in the routine, you should relax and be more comfortable with others. The isolation has become an entrenched habit, and it will take courage and determination to break it. You can do it. Good luck to you - and sorry about your Mom.
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