Extremely worried/ anxious over STDS/HIV

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Okay so a few months ago I had a sexual encounter. I stupidly cheated on my partner. I had unprotected oral sex and protected vaginal. A few days later I noticed a new brown spot on the head of my penis. It freaked me out so I went to the doctor thinking herpes. I got a full std screening including herpes and 4th generation HIV test. Everything came back negative. I was relieved but went back to google just in case and found that the window period for HIV and herpes is way after 9 days. So ever since then I am not myself. I'm extremely worried everyday. I've distanced myself from people I love. I had another negative HIV 4th generation test at 31 days as well. I've been so worried and have had really bad anxiety over this for months now. It's a struggle everyday just to keep pushing forward I just want to put this all behind me and move on. I'd really appreciate anyone's help or advice on this!!

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  • Posted

    hi! i’m experiencing the same anxieties- i stupidly hooked up with more than a handful of guys at college and now i’m so paranoid i’ve caught herpes or hiv or hpv. i suggest you do what i’m doing and wait til the 3 month mark to test again because that’s when they’re most conclusive. the waiting is hard but i try not to let it cause me too much distress since the situation is out of my control until i can get tested and be reassured rolleyes 
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  • Posted

    I hope she didnt come back with you cuz thats the lowest thing you can ever do to someone. But 4th gen hiv test is accurate after 2-4 weeks of exposure. Because it test for antigens unlike the other kinds. So i say your probably clear. You probably have hpv theres this one called Bowenoid papulosis that causes dark spots so you might want to get that checked and try not to have sex because then youll affect girls with hpv 16 the cancer causing kind
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    • Posted

      Yeah it's a very low thing to do. I regret it and would never do something like that again if she ever does get back with me. A dermatologist took a look at the spot but said it was nothing to worry about. But in my state of anxiety I keep thinking maybe he didn't thoroughly examine enough to know if it is bowenoid papulosis. 

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  • Posted

    Sorry to hear about the anxiety. It is brutal... Yes, there is a window period.

    I read that UK guidelines say that 4th Generation test is 95% reliable at 4 weeks after exposure, which is where you are today. There is an interesting chart that is included link I posted below. At 6 weeks I have read that many experts consider the Gen IV test to be conclusive (but good to consult a doctor as some may think a 90 day test is needed). Hang in there man, take a deep breath and the odds are with you. You were protected and oral sex presents a very low risk for HIV transmission. 

    http://i-base.info/qa/factsheets/hiv-transmission-and-testing

    For herpes you typically need to wait for antibodies to form if you took a blood (IGG) test so 9 days may not allow enough time. A "brown spot" does not sound to me like a typical herpes virus. Search some images on the internet as herpes typically looks like a cluster of blisters.

     

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  • Posted

    Yes, there is a time needed prior to testing. I have read in the UK that the Gen IV HIV test is 95% accurate at 4 weeks, which is where you are now. I have also read from credible sources that the Gen IV tests are considered conclusive at 6 weeks (although I think 90 days is the standard).

    You have a low risk of being HIV positive based on what you are indicating happened. You were protected and transmission risk for oral sex is really, really low. Take a deep breath as statistics are with you and perhaps this helps your sleep at night. You are going to be okay. 

    Also, a brown spot on your penis head does not sound like herpes. The virus usually presents itself as a red / blister like rash. You do need to wait (unless swabbing a lesion) for antibodies to build up in your system if you took a blood test, but it does not sound like you have genital herpes based on what you have described.

    HPV will generally present itself as warts which, I do not believe these would have shown up a few days after your encounter. The dermatologist would have been able to diagnosis this pretty easily I would think.

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    • Posted

      Thanks for the encouraging words. Everything you said is very logical and good reasons for me to stop worrying. I tell myself that everyday but the anxiety over this always beats me. I think what really gets to me is if I have something like herpes Hiv or hpv I'll never be able to be with my girlfriend again. That kills me. I hope I don't have anything and I'll never make this mistake again

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