Posted , 6 users are following.
Okay so I'll jump right in to it. My anxiety and obsessive googling and reading of cancer stories has convinced me with no doubt at all, that I have oral cancer of some type. When I say no doubt I mean it. I can't eat, sleep, think, stop trembling, play games, nothing at all. I just think "what's the point? I'm going to die soon".
I am not stupid, I know that there could be many causes for my pains. However there is nothing that seems as close to how I feel as cancer.
My pain started a few weeks ago now. It began as a headache and burning pain in my jaw joint on the right. I went to the doctors and got antibiotics for possible gland infection. They didn't work, and I got worse. The pain is now random and infrequent, from the back of my jaw, under my tongue, on my tongue, neck and and throat. Sometimes burning and sometimes aching or shooting. I seen another doctor yesterday and she has given me a stronger antibiotic. She also said I have a few white spots on my tonsils and slight crackling in my left lung. Now everything feels infected and sore and my lungs hurt too.
I just want to get my head on straight. I need people to talk to. I need something.. I feel so alone and scared. Why am I so convinced it's cancer? Why can't I accept I may not die soon? I am freaking out so much. I won't be able to cope when they tell me. I can't. I am very close to resorting back to self harming, as I used to do. I cannot take this impending doom along with the pains. Help, someone. Please!!
3 likes, 38 replies