Facial changes within a peri cycle...
Posted , 4 users are following.
Ok,so I notice facial changes during each cycle,face more filled out and
prettier to a degree for a little window of time, and then the rest I feel I look dried out ,tired and hollow faced 
I'm sure this is to do with ebb and flow of hormones.
What I want to know is,how do you ladies kindly treat yourselves on the days you feel less youthful ?Do you have a special way of pampering yourselves ..
go for a swim,hair cut,,buy a new item of clothing..
It's such a challenge as I feel less like socialising, people can become more domineering if I feel quiet and tired ,so I really need to have a strategy in place so that I feel good in my own skin and pretty up a bit with some colour
and accessories.I'm sure drinking heaps of water and having plenty of sleep help!
Let me know soon, 'cause what I'm seeing in the mirror looks a bit scary 
0 likes, 17 replies
gailannie Fairywren
Posted
Scary, isn't it? Mentally this is one of the hardest things I am dealing with. And I wish I could give you something special to do when you don't feel like you look good. This is difficult to explain to younger people who aren't there yet. My daughter is the worst, she thinks going and getting my nails done will change what I see in the mirror!
Remember when you looked at photos of an erderly family member when they were young, and you couldn't identify them? That's what's happening to us. We are changing. Everything about us is changing. Eventually we will be a face that we don't even recognize. And that is my emotional, mental struggle. But if this ended with just how we look, that might be one thing. But it doesn't. What I am finding is that these changes of life, totally change ability and desire, attitude and interests. Things that I would have wanted to do years ago, are ho-hum at best. I just don't care any more. Where I looked forward to a nice vacation on a beach, in a swim suit, I now avoid. I used to love summer, now I wonder what I'll wear and how to cover up most of my body. Dressing up and going out for a nice meal doesn't even interest my husband or myself, as food doesn't even taste the same. Having a coctail is neary out of the question, as my body doesn't handle alcohol any more.
Things do change, that's for sure. Sorry I'm not much help with ideas, but I sure wish someone had explained this to me. I might not be so shocked right now, with all these changes. So I'll be interested to see how other women feel.
Fairywren gailannie
Posted
It's a pretty big challenge to show our daughters that we love ourselves,I know for me not that long ago being ignorant I may have looked at some of the older women I knew and thought 'what happened to her?Is she sick?'Like so many things in life ,it's just so hard to comprehend until you experience it yourself.Certain condescending looks from youngger fresh faced women
sometimes have me thinking 'hey, I could be your mother,I'm not doing too badly considering everything I've been through in life' and then give her a nice smile.They just don't know.
I do know ,I'm having a much greater appreciation of women of my own generation 🙂🌷and much more empathy.
Guest Fairywren
Posted
I think you were replying to me Fairywren?😃 Yes I agree, it is a big challenge to get through all this and somehow stay positive for ourselves but also to set a good example for our daughters ....and sons for that matter who may need to support their wives through all this eventually.
Reb2211 Fairywren
Posted
I'm with you on this one, the menopause wants to rob you emotionally and physically. I look in the mirror and see awful acne skin, puffy face and tired eyes with large suitcases underneath. It's hard coming to terms with what it's doing to you but ho hum, it is what is.
Now and again I'll treat myself to a spray tan, it might be fake but it gives my tired pale skin a happy glow lol. . I've tried using a contouring kit to brighten up the skin and bring subtle definition. I've also treated myself to a few Shimmery eyeshadows and these seem to life my look. .
I've gone and bought a few outfit with colours that I know suit me and my skin so I feel a little lifted.
Its small things but a little experimentation makes me feel like im not giving into the menopause.
This isn't Meant to sound vain but more finding a way of feeling good about myself and trying to bring back some confidence.
In other words up yours menopause! because I won't let you bring me down. I will fight back! Lol
I hope that helps a little bit x
Guest Reb2211
Posted
That's the spirit Reb! Good on you....ultimately it will all make us stronger if we grab it by the horns and ride it out! (Yes easier to say, but we need to try for a little optimism in amongst the darkness!)
Reb2211 Guest
Posted
Yes it's so easy to be negative and I have so many bad day too but I still don't want it to beat me!! I'm fighting it lol x
Guest Fairywren
Posted
I hope I can say this here without sounding vain......one of the biggest things I've had to deal with is the change in my face and body. I have had a good figure and an attractive face all my life and have been used to a fair amount of looks from men. Now my face has squared out (or something) and I've gained 6kg all on my middle so that I'm more Apple shaped than hour glass shaped. This now means I hardly get any looks from men (unless they're 80!) and I feel completey invisible. The feeling of being unattractive and undesirable has been one of the hardest things to deal with. My husband says I'm being silly but that really doesn't help. This was all worse a couple of years ago but I must say I'm now getting little thoughts of: " actually this is quite comfortable just being a little plump" "actually it's nice stepping out of the staying skinny and botoxed race" , "it's actually nice talking to men who are listening, not sizing me up"....so maybe I'm growing into a time when I'm comfortable with the real me not just my facade! Aaaaand it's only taken 53 years to get there!!💃🏽
Fairywren Guest
Posted
😅Yep, had the 80 yr olds looking hahaha.Sometimes, just sometimes the 50 -70 range will glance when it's at the peak of my cycle and I know that will go soonish.
It's great your husband reassures you and yes!To not have a man sizing you up and just having a really good talk with them is wonderful.
I don't think it's vain,I've struggled with those thoughts a bit ,something we may have taken unconsciously for granted,our 'pretty'.It's all drummed home by the fact too that my daughters are blossoming into women 🙂
Especially when they try to put make up on me as they would on themselves!!😄Now that's truely scary!
Guest Fairywren
Posted
gailannie Guest
Posted
I don't think it sounds vain. I also was considered attractive. But boy that is sure fading fast. It's really hard to feel good about it all. And I do think there is some grief involved. This is a very big life change.
My husband is an angel and still tells me I'm pretty, but it's hard to feel it. Hard to want to dress up, or even try on new clothes. I'll adjust, I always do. But first I will be cleaning out the closet that holds all the things that I still want to be.
Guest gailannie
Posted
Yes Gailannie I definitely have gone through a grieving process........I had a wardrobe full of waist-hugging outfits that I've packed away....I'm still a little hopeful that one day......I should just give them away 😔....so blooming depressing....then again , with an increasing frequency, I'm beginning to just feel more comfortable with myself.
Reb2211 Guest
Posted
Fairywren Guest
Posted
Last year each time I boiled the jug for coffee I'd do lady sit-ups ,cut out wheat and sugar ..I was fit but my clothes kind of hung on me because the curves were gone
I'd rather have a fuller face and. some padding on my tum .It's very hard to find a happy medium.
Stretching feels so good
I love hearing how you are becoming more comfortable with yourself List,I take heart from that 🙂
Guest Reb2211
Posted
Quite right Reb...there's a few models/actresses in the magazines that are in their 70-80s that look awesome because of their inner glow, confidence and particular way of dressing and adorning themselves....we could all do that even if we're not in the limelight
Guest Fairywren
Posted
oh dear Fairywren, big hugs to you....we are all so blooming hard on ourselves, aren't we? And never satisfied with what we've got....I'm just the same...we should really count our blessings as they say. I bet you look and are gorgeous! Xo
Reb2211 gailannie
Posted
I think we tend to notice things about ourselves massively and others don't notice it. Like someone thinking they've got a huge nose and were all thinking it's not really that big. .
It is about adjusting I agree! but aremember that your still attractive and look good it's just you can't see it. Others can
gailannie Guest
Posted