facing my past

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Hi

This isn't easy for me to do but basically I have had a very very bad childhood. To begin with my dad was a complusice liar and addicted to dope and gambling. Basically he would make up lies such as he was in a car accident so couldn't see me when he was actually at the dogs (I was 7).

This has really affected me.

I was bullied at primary.

My mums got an illness (I can't remember what it's called) but it means my grandparents did a lot of my upbringing.

My mum met someone when I was 7 we moved in with him and then eventually mum married him I was 10. Mum had two boys with him. They divorced when I was 15. Long story short he was controlling and abusive to mum and to me but mum didn't know this. I was anorexic when I was 12 up to 16. Mum didn't notice. Anyway she got help with it all and support but still suffered depression and I had to do a lot of the upbringing of my brothers.

Anyways since all this I can't seem to keep a steady relationship. In my last relationship I was securely abused.

This relationship I'm in now my partner lies a lot.

I need advice on how to deal with everyday stress and how to face my past. Maybe letters or something?

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    I would really recommend CBT cognitive behaviour therapy. When I had it a few years ago because of anxiety, we opened up a lot of things from my past and childhood that I had forgotten about or not dealth with. We did work on these issues and it weirdly felt like a huge weight had been lifted.

    Good luck

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    • Posted

      Thank you. I've done a bit of CBT but the lady I do it with was more about coping strategies bot dealing with what caused the issues.
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  • Posted

    Not easy but i have suffered similar. I never thought therapy could help, but i would recommed going to see a well qualified practicitoner.
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  • Posted

    Some talk therapy would be helpful with a counselor. You dont need to face your past, you need to accept it. Once you accept it as is then you need to forgive yourself and whomever caused you discomfort, not for them and doesnt mean you need to interact with any of them, but for you. Once thats done you will be able to move forward. A long journey ahead for you but its worth the work. Counselors can help guide you
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  • Posted

    Hi rose 93, I beg to differ with lynne30411, I would not recommend cbt to anyone at all.  The therapist I had was a young inept idiot, she made me feel worse, not better and wouldn't even begin to discuss my assault possible rape,which will be confirmed with my doctor on Friday, wish me luck.  For simple problems cbt works but because my past was so bad and she was so young and life inexperienced she didn't do anything for me, except make me nearly lose my marriage, leave me suicidal and depressed.  I was assaulted not anything else and consdering she found this out via cbt you'd think she'd discuss this.  I realise that I'm not everyone, cbt was not for me since then I've moved away from discussing any of this, my husband and I are focusing on the baby we've longed for, despite me being 42.  Hopefully things work out for us.  I think you need to talk to your doctor they are often useful in the 1st instance.  Good luck - something will hopefully work somewhere, oh just one other thing - pray, it some times helps!
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