Faecal Incontinence

Never heard of these, must look them up, thankyou.

What a brave lady you are and such an example to all of us. I have been very down this year i must admit, i lost my 95 year old mum a few weeks ago falling a dreadful fall whcih caused several broken bones, it has upset me. I was born in 1953 and have never had problems with my health until recent years. I had my children by C section, two of them  now aged 31 and 28 and a hysterectomy in 1999. Had my gall bladder removed 30 years ago which has left me with regular diarrohea.My sphincter literally seem to stop working whilst on holiday in Weymouth 10 years ago. I had several accidents over a few days, i was most alarmed. I was sent to see a specialist physio for pelic floor problems who gave me daily exercises to do but i cannot really feel much sensation in my sphincter. Then i was told i had lost my squeeze and uplift in my sphincter so was referred for the Sacral nerve Stimulator 5 years ago this week, nothing has improved at all. I was fortunate to have private health care for 30 years as a perk of my husbands job so at least i had lengthy discussions with my Consultant. The first 2 years the stimulator seemed to make my big toe twitch and i got cramp in my calf muscle. I was told i had 4 programms in the stimulator so i had to change the setting every month for the next year. Then my hubby retired and we moved to Devon so sadly i am now on the NHS and it is a nightmare. I rarely see the Consultant, get about 2 minutes of the registrars time. In April i had the anal fillers put in because i was so desperate to visit my daughter in Bristol for my birthday, she is a Doctor but has a new boyfriend and i was so scared of meeting him and going out for dinner. The fillers have made no difference at all. My stimulator was switched off at christmas to make a comparison between it on and off and i have not seen anyone else since then. My hubby is running out of patience as we had planned to do a lot of travelling to Australia and Canada to stay with family, he has been going on holidays alone for 8 years. Controlling bouts of diarrhoea has been a 30 year trial and error battle but when my sphincter worked i never had a problem. No one has given me a reason for the sphincter failure, just been told i am unlucky, possible got some pelvic floor drop which apparently causes the nerve to stretch.,The anxiety had become a huge problem this year which does not help, i have not used public transport for years but am desperate to go on holiday with friends on coach trips. Have never visited my lovely son in London since he moved there 6 years ago. I try to think of my friend who had parkinsons and needs carers and my other friend who has progressive MS and is in a wheelchair and think i am lucky but being limited in my life is so awful. I go to an aquafit class at my local swimming pool and have some lovely friends, the ones who want me to go on holiday with them as they are either widowed or divorced. I also work one afternoon as a volunteer at our local hospice, i used to be a nurse. But i never leave Devon or even within a mile of my home. I had a major accident on a coach trip 2 years ago, i developed diarrhoea during my day out. The coach was supposed to have a toilet on board but it was out of order. I stank the coach out for the last 30 miles and quite a few people on the coach turned really nasty towards me, i thought they were going to linch me, they called me awful names, that incident really put me off going out for three months. Not sure where i will head next for treatment. Have you ever been offered a colostomy? this i am sure you give you more freedom. I am horrifed by the idea at the moment, but it has been mentioned.

Take care and have a good week.

I too have had an accident on a coach  in Italy and on a bus years ago. Also in shops  it was like living in a nightmare.  I can go to the loo up to 20 times in one day!!!  The codeine has helped to reduce the diahorrea due to its constipating effect, but it is one day at a time for me.

There are other operations available you know, one being a balloon which closes the anal opening by remote control and opens when you want to evacuate, also a sphincter repair operation, these would not of helped me due to my deformity. A last resort would be colostomy which could give you your life back. As I've said please speak to your doctor or specialist nurse because you don't have to live like this anymore. Ask to speak to someone who has a colostomy and ask them how it is. Don't let it control your life, fight back your worth that and so is your family. 

I have bad days too but refuse to let it rule my life, my family are all understanding and we talk bowel language, one of my sons has crohns disease and my husband has diverticulitis so we have toilet banter which takes the embarrassment out of it. I believe the best consultant ( female) in bowel problems is down south, think it's southampton or along that coastline. I was under Mr Ed Kiff at Manchester but he has now retired from nhs. He may still have a private practice. He was known to be the best in the north of England and is avery special man.

I wrote to my Consultant twice last year as i was so angry at never seeing her, just her minions. My daughter tells me that the letter would only be scanned at roughly, Consultants working in the NHS have not time for reading letters. She did eventually reply and did offer me the chance to see someone at Southampton but it is such a long way for me to go and i do not drive on motorways. Miss Boorman came highly recommended to me by my private consultant i saw in Bristol as she was starting up a new bowel clinic  in Exeter the year we retired here to Torquay, her credentials are very impressive. She does not hold clinics over the summer so i will be expecting an appointment for sept/oct time.

I looked at the information on the Bladder and Bowel Foundation (are you a member?) and they say the sacral nerve stimulators are now old hat, and are invasive and expensive and they are now trialling tibial nerve stimulation which just involves the lead being put in your ankle. My son who lives in London was telling me that he saw an ad wanting volunteers for a new trial at St georges Hospital Tooting but you had to be at the hospital every Friday morning for 6 weeks. I live so far away and my son lives with two other people in a student flat in west london so cannot help me. I am hoping the trials will be in other places. I did ask Miss Boorman and she said she new of no trials outside of london. Have you heard of this new procedure.?? I would like to set up a support group like they have for diabetics or asthmatics and other chronic problems. Had a call from margaret, a fellow patient at my clinic, a few weeks ago when she found out i had lost my mum so tragically. She had total incontience, no feelings in her rectum at all following surgery for anal cancer 20 years ago. Her hubby used to walk behind her when they went out to tell her when she had leaked through her clothing. It cost her her career which she found difficult to deal with, she had been a head teacher and missed her working life so much. She missed all her 3 daughters weddings as one was in Canada, one in Hawaii and one in Cuba. When she became a grandma three years ago twice in the same few months she decided it was time for the colostomy which she had refused for 10 years. She is a new person and has a part time job once again and has visited her grandson Harry in Canada three times and is off to the States to see her first daughter due in September. Do you not want a colostomy to give you your freedom, i realise they are not without their own issues. One of my aquafitters at my swim class has just been diagnosed with diverticultis so we have become more chatty and had a few coffees at her house when her hubby is away, he is not very supportive as they used to holiday a lot and she does much of the driving and he likes to go to Italy. He is there on his own at the moment.

Must get ready for my afternoon at the Hospice, i work in a room with a toilet in the corner so am ok and everyone is so friendly and pleasant to work with i look forward to it every week.

I really feel all this for all of us. You so not say what type of problem you have, do you mind if i ask? Do you know the cause of your problem, this is something i find frustrating, the not knowing. I have met people at clinics who have had anal cancers ot rectal cancers causing nerve damage so they know the cause, i find it so annoying that mine just seem to start on a holiday 10 years ago. I panicked when i thought they were looking for singns of MS but i am a healthy person who is incontinent but have a problem which is so totally unacceptable to society. I have been called some awful rude names and been shouted at which is distressing. I was reading about preisteen yesterday. My worry is loosing friends, so far they are all lovely but i keep in touch mainly by email which i find distressing as we used to have ladies weekends and holidays together which i miss dreadfully. Maybe a few of us should start a support group, no one else can imagine the misery this sort of problem causes unless you have humiliated yourself in public and been called names by ignorant people who should no better.

I soo feel for you, I have the very beginnings of this and have to watch what I eat.  Probably 60 years of having a nervous stomach and things like dentist doctors knowing I would be waiting at a bus stop (no loo) etc etc etc, you name it still makes me nervous and I go several times before I get there.  I hope your friends keep close as this must be utterley humilitating.  Thank goodness for sites like this.

Flip mate - how absolutely rotten this is for you - men dont suffer like this coz they dont have our lady bits do they - its true when my Mum used to say she would like to come back as a man.  All I can say is thank goodness we are not alone - because I would never mention this to my mates who all seem so fit.

Just keep logging in for support and understanding and somewhere down the line someone will come up with something hun xx

Not sure you are right about men not suffering. I think they do but are too embarrassed to do anything about it. Seems they would rather suffer in silence but women are off to the doc when anything goes wrong.

My physio said that men should do pelvic floor exercises as well as women,as they have a pelvic floor too.  i wonder how many do? 

Yes good point - I was thinking along the lines of giving birth several times - I know this is a big problem for so many ladies.  But you are right, suffer in silence.