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Failure me

Posted , 10 users are following.

Paper_fairy
Paper_fairy

ive had enough. I'm. trying so hard. As you know I'm the failure one on this site. Once I was one of the strong ones. I went so many weeks months sober but because my partner gave up on me i struggle now, like what's the point?

Want to get back to sober again. Re naltrexone I'm panicking now as I only have 7 left. I'm hoping the dr will prescribe again( idk) Was originally prescribed from dr in rehab.

Couldnt give up today..depressed is a complement to how I feel right now x

0 likes, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • RHGB
    RHGB Paper_fairy

    Posted

    Mr. Pragmatic here (I often get told off for pointing out the obvious and apparently being unsympathetic), but have you made an appointment with your GP?

    If you only have one to two week's worth, then you need to see your GP urgently, because if he says no, go to an alcohol recovery centre, they will take a minimum of three weeks, IF they decide to give you a prescription. Otherwise you will need to find an alternative source.

  • ADEfree
    ADEfree Paper_fairy

    Posted

    I heard you say that you're the failure.

    I'm going to tell you that you're not the failure.

    I'm telling you that you're winning, even if it doesn't feel like it. 

    When you don't drink as much as before, you might feel some anxiety, even some panic. It takes time for your brain to normalize.

    Give this a try, go to calm (dot) com and pick the scene you find most pleasing. They even have an app for android and iPhone, it's nice to have it on tap. 

    When do you see your doc next? 

  • Richardt
    Richardt Paper_fairy

    Posted

    You are not a failure at all, its low happy chemicals in your brain telling u that, u are a lovely women and we miss your posts when u go quite.
  • OOOOOOO
    OOOOOOO Paper_fairy

    Posted

    Lovely Paper fairy,

    We are all here for each other, as well as for our own need.  You are very kind, understanding and supportive.  I feel like a failure in many ways. You would point out positives, to me.  Now, look at your own positives...I have just mentioned three.  You are the point of your struggle.  You are worth the battle to succeed.  Not your partner/former partner, no other person feels it like you.  We are not so kind to ourselves.  Do you take medication for Depression, as well as Naltrexone re alcohol ? Do you have medication for Panic ? I take an anti-depressant every day.  I take a sedative, as required, if I get too stressed-out...palpitations etc.  There are many crutches to grab...I used to think I could do it on my own.  I failed.  I had to accept my human condition. None of us are perfect, we are human.  We will dance again !!! Without staggering. 💃

    Hold on, my friend.

    Alonangel 🎇

  • Misssy2
    Misssy2 Paper_fairy

    Posted

    Oh no...I hate to see anyone feel like this...and you especially because we are here fighting the same battle.

    It doesn't seem that drug is working for you and it seems that it may also be making you more depressed?  I am not a Dr....but paperfairy...you seemed to be happier when tapering.  But, the tapering may have gotten out of control. 

    I know you had some sobriety in the past...and so did I..so what I did when I was struggling so badly (like you)...was think about all that "good" time (ALOT).  I kept instead of telling myself that I was a "FAILURE"...told myself that I did it before and I WILL do it again. 

    You said you went to rehab?  Its not rehab I don't think...I think you went to "detox"...Rehab is a long term program...3-6 months....Detox is like a week.

    If I were you...I would do what I did...call for detox again!  And then follow up with being willing to go to "rehab"...IF you don't feel like you can maintain staying away from a drink.

    Your such a sweet, nice, caring, knowledgeable lady...you are not a failure.  You deserve happiness and health....please..everytime you start thinking like you are a failure..remind yourself that you are NOT a failure..you are struggling....and there is a way out...but for you....it sounds like you are like me and need TOTAL ABSTINENCE...and the only way to get there...is to seek medical help...I know it doesn't appear it worked in the past...but this is now..and you sound pretty ready..xo

    • Paper_fairy
      Paper_fairy Misssy2

      Posted

      Misssy. You are so kind and we all love you, me especially as we went through a vodka binge once which was hell!

      Last November I think.

      We have got better on and off since then. But you REALLY HAVE. I'm so happy for you. I m still struggling. Not as bad as I was but not where you are or I'd rather be xx

    • Paper_fairy
      Paper_fairy Misssy2

      Posted

      Hi. Missy thanks so much for your kind words and concern, but  I know you are in USA and things are really different here in UK. I can't get Lorazapan/Diazapam to help me on my journey( RHGB) Some people are lucky. I'm persevering with naltrexone though it runs out soon. Wil the dr prescribe I don't know. At the mo I don't care as I'm so depressed. I've had enough. 
  • Paper_fairy
    Paper_fairy

    Posted

    Thanks for everyone's posts. Still in the 8 hour time limit with naltrexone, though very depressed and now on second glass of wine after drinking 1 bottle of wine. Googled depressing stuff tonight but won't go there. 

    What can I say ? So hate me. 

    • OOOOOOO
      OOOOOOO Paper_fairy

      Posted

      Hey Paper fairy.....please stop that hating talk !

      Look at yourself the way you look at others.

      No hate.

    • vickylou
      vickylou Paper_fairy

      Posted

      Paper fairy stop talking like this! You are not a failure, never. You've cut down on what you used to drink, no vodka. I had vodka on Saturday and was the worst thing I've done in ages. Think of the positives, and also the fact that you need more tablets. Don't leave it too late, it will only make things worse. Take care and you're no failure
    • patricia44773
      patricia44773 Paper_fairy

      Posted

      How could anyone ever hate you??

      I am so sorry you are feeling as you are, my heart aches for you.  But you are strong Paper fairy, you have proved that in the past, you will find that strength again. 

      Sending a big hug.

      Pat

  • Paper_fairy
    Paper_fairy

    Posted

    Thanks for all your support all of you who have posted on here. Slept all morning. Going to stop all this sxxt now today. Feeling miserable but not giving in to the demon today, fingers crossed. Got beer if I feel any jitters starting but hope I don't have to resort to that. Will keep you posted. Got to get well so I can drive to the doctor. Will stay in touch and try to stay strong x
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