Falling apart

Posted , 15 users are following.

Hi all

First off, Thank you for all your comments and support every time I've posted.

So it's 16 days till THE day. I've been in absolute agony.. .and yes I have other benchmarks to know this is pretty much absolute. The pain has defined me for months. Now though D day is nigh and you'd think I'd be ecstatic and excited. However I can stop crying, I'm a mess at work, I feel I'm falling apart. Now, I'm not a cryer or a faller aparter so I'm at a loss.

I'm thinking of going to GP and asking for some medication to get me from here to there so to speak

I'm j9r especially worried about the op perse, I'm not really thinking about it. I suspect IT might be lurking around the old subconscious though. I just can stop crying. Other half keeps trying to "fix" things and boss at work completely unrealistic and hard faced about targets.... despite pretending to understand. "Oh yes you can flex work but what about xyz"....

So sorry for the rant! I'm losing it at little things. Does anyone rexcomend any particular medication? Have tried medication based on mindfulness but I just cant find the head space.

1 like, 17 replies

17 Replies

  • Posted

    I do sympathise.  I don't think I stopped crying from the time I got the date to the operation!  My poor husband was nearly driven around the bend!  Good luck with everything.  Once it's done you'll just concentrate on recovery!

  • Posted

    Hi Ffion

    you not only have pain, you have surgery to come and an unsympathetic boss - what a combo!

    whatever you know or think about complementary therapy, get yourself some Rescue Remedy.  Boots used to stock it, may still do. Otherwise a health food store. 

    RR is made from 5 flower remedies and it's geared to emotional states, as are all flower remedies.

    i have upcoming surgery and was feeling weepy this morning, so luckily I thought of RR and took some.  I was fine afterwards, quite relaxed and cheerful again. I think it's in your mind all the time, especially at night even if you think you're sleeping reasonably well.

    If you know anyone who does Reiki, get them to send you some! I think it's perfectly natural to be scared / emotional - surgery is an invasion of your body and your space and even if you feel better after it, you have to go through it first.

    all the best

    Rose

    hope you try it, and good luck.

  • Posted

    Hi,

    It sounds as though you've been in a lot pain for quite a while now.  This in itself can cause depression.  Only days left to go now.  You will be pleasantly surprised when you no longer have pain in your hip.  There will be a few minor obsticles after the surgery, but it shouldn't be anything compared to what you are going through now.  As you are so close to the surgery, I'd wait on asking for anti-depressants.  within a week or two after the surgery you'll probably find that you are much happier. 

    Take good care of yourself and keep us postedsmile

  • Posted

    Hi I know how you feel mine is on Monday 13 th and terrified trying to keep busy in a lot of pain but always in the back of my mind will I wake up will I get this that or the other hopefully I will not be in so much pain and it will all be good still had to go to the doctor as I kept thinking I could not swallow got some tablets but have not taken them yet it hangs over you like a sentence I do know how you feel but in to much pain to cancel good luck get some diazepam and hopefully we will laughter about it all soon
  • Posted

    How horrible for you bug I'm sure your doctor will be able to prescribe something to vet you through this.

    Chin up!

    Cheers Richard

  • Posted

    I so feel for you! You are in a difficult postiton and have our empathy! I agree that non pharmaceutical approaches are well worth considering. I have also used the Rescue Remedy w good (not amazing but good) results. Any breathing or stretching/ yoga might be helpful as well. One issue w the antidepressants is that they take a while to e effective, maybe a few weeks? All the best to you.
  • Posted

    Don't worry about meditation right now. Just practice breathing. I took homeopathics which helped. Sorry don't know about other medications

  • Posted

    When things got bad for me, I turned to soothing classical music ..... less side effects than medication.  You may need a combination of the two, but just a thought.

    Best wishes, I'm sure you'll be fine.

    Graham

  • Posted

    Hi Ffion

    First of all l completley understand how you feel and saying to you don't be scared won't help. But l am a year on after getting both hips replaced and my knee in august. I am 44 years old and found out at 42 l had Ostioarthritis in both hips. And needed them both replaced. To say l was not scared to death before my first op in december 2015 is an understatment. I like you worked full time as a bank manager and worked to targets and deadlines my job was very busy. But for all off 2015 l had been in agony in one leg at the top. Getting in and out a car was brutal. I visited the doctors many times they kept just telling me it was a pulled muscle and then a tendon.

    The breaking point was when l went a small holiday with my hubby and he saw me in the morning in tears trying to get my jeans on.

    Eventually they sent me for xrays and l found out both hips were gone. I was in shock. I though l.am.to young for this l was normal size and quite active but yet l needed new hips at 42. Me being who l am read everything about the op and even watched it being done in utube (bad idea). Anyway l had it done under general anesthetic and l felt nothing l woke up with a leg that felt like a dead weight and could not move. I was given plenty oain meds but though there is no way l am gonna move that leg.

    The next day the pyhsio came in and yes he got me up. It was sore l won't deny it but the more you move it the easier it gets. By day 3 l could get out my bed and use my sticks to walk and day 4 l climbed the stairs and was allowed home.

    But that was me that thought l was not gonna make it through the operation before it. I even wrote a message in my ohone to my husband incase l never survived thats how scared l was. 4 weeks later l was desoerate to get my other done.....would you beleive desperate as l was walking fine without sticks and was healing so fast.

    I think you could ask your doctor for a couple of valium but l am not sure if they will give you them they are very strick. But if you explained how much you were panicking they might give you 2 mg valium but l am not that sure they would.

    Honestly you will be fine. My hips are great l can't feel that they are replacements. But my knee was a million times worse and painful. I still have to get my other knee replaced but l have now got it in my ankle and will be getting an op on it very soon as l am in agony again. Its taken over my life being in pain but ine thing l would never be scared to do again is my hips l would have them done instead of my knee that l still to have done and my ankle which will be done in the next month of which l will have to wear a cast for 10 to 15 weeks. Please do not be scared l was great 4 to 6 weeks after getting my hip done and driving again. I am back at work part time now as l had 3 major ops in 1 year but l now am back to how bad l was before l had my hips done because of the pain in my ankle. My hips are still the best thing l could ever have done.

    Hope this helps

    Laura

    X

  • Posted

    Rescue remedy .. Bach rescue remedy . In Ukin Tesco and Boots . Very very popular for stress and strain and shock . I don't really need to say anymore ... just take it and you will see .

  • Posted

    Probably not what you want to hear but ask the Dr to sign you off work and get some rest before your op. Been there myself (crying with pain and not sleeping) and wish I'd done the same. 🛌

  • Posted

    Hi There,I feel for you.! Now I really advise you to get too see your Gp as soon as you can.Also get a Reflexologist to come & give you a good session.This will help with your stress levels. Please make sure that you have a good team when you come home.You will need all the help you can get.Don't rush around.Which hospital are you going into.? Hope this helps.regards Amanda

  • Posted

    dear ffion, 

    you are not alone .... a much as it sucks, we have to go through it one way or the other - it is scary and the scenarios we play in our head affect our body - 

    When I was about to get my 2nd THR , 6months after the 1st one, I totally freaked out , eventhough I knew what was coming - I knew the procedure of getting to the hospital, getting admitted, sedated etc. I had no complications or any bad experiences and still .... 

    so I did ask my GP for anti-anxiety meds ... and it helped me get through the days - 

    What kind of work are you doing?  try not to be too harsh on your boss or anybody else, okay --- they feel helpless and doing the best they can ... 

    Accept that this is how you feel and it is fine - no need to resist these feelings -

    come back any time - sharing your feelings and emotions here where it is safe and understood

    big warm hug

    renee

  • Posted

    Hi Fiona so sorry . Can you get time off from work if you can do that.

    May be you can ask GP for some pills to relax you. I try keep my self ocupade till operation. Good luck and you will be fine and you are not alone.

    Big hug Madla💗

  • Posted

    You are not alone as you can see. I too was full if terror and fear and tears. Lots of things helped: 2 minute bouts of tears. Any longer and the puddle seemed too deep to get out of. I got busy... Finishing my daughters quilt, did my tax return early, made preserves from frozen stuff i hadn't yet got to: i made "redemption" tomato sauce and resurrection apricot jam with great purpose, knowing my family would be "provided for" if i didnt make it... i asked questions galore. On Facebook I asked what pain relief worked for people. What was it like to have an operation. Friends put me on prayer chains. I wrote farewell letters in my mind. Hugs and meetings with friends were more special. I talked to my anesthetist, the specialist. I challenged my fears with personal coaching... the what if worst scenarios. I was reminded by a friend to breathe and be curious. I realised I get like this when flying too. I want to be in control and again there is mo way I can do my operation lol.... as if! I wanted to stay awake for the op... then as it happened needed a general and it was the best thing. Now I'm 4 weeks post op. I made it. Be kind to yourself. Trust. Biggest hugs from nz.

    • Posted

      Congrats Minana, you made me laugh!!i My sense of humour is normally up to speed but it takes a bit of a dive at nights when I lie awake going through same as you have..all over by Monday lunchtime for me, it's just the getting there. Blessings.

    • Posted

      Well done. Onwards and upwards!

      You will get there.

      Cheers Richard

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