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Fate is playing a cruel joke on me!

Posted , 4 users are following.

hayley39028
hayley39028

I have been diagnosed with genital herpes in November 2016. My doctor let me know that the symptoms show up within like two weeks of the sexual encounter. I literally had sex with my partner two weeks before, in that period, he too was sick with flu like symptoms, which I also had and got with the blisters that came up on my right buttocks.

i have only had one other partner, which was one and only encounter some two years before this relationship started.

. I told  my partner right away he gets tested, and waits until yesterday to tell me that he got his results in December and he's negative. He was traveling from December to January. We had sex before he left and in the last two weeks of March we've had sex a couple times. Each time except yesterday he has performed oral sex, and I have with him, but always once he puts on the condom. Hes now saying he wouldn't be performing oral any more as I have herpes.

so I'm rambling and I apologize about that, but my head is reeling from the information that he didn't have it. How is it possible that I have herpes when I have not been promiscuous, always insisted on him using a condom for penetration, but to be honest he would rub up on me without a condom first. And that is how I think I got infected. How grossly unfair that he has had no symptoms tests negative, and has been promiscuous, had unprotected sex, and can now look down his nose at me, when I've tried to save myself for someone I could love. I feel a level of genuine dislike for him right now, not saying hate...but I'm so upset and annoyed and depressed that this fate has come to me...I know herpes isn't as serious as other stds but the stigma of it is weighing on me. The fact that the person that gave it to me can get a false negative, and then turn around and look at me with suspicion and judgement is so unreal to me. So my question is how is this possible? Could my first sexual experience have exposed me, and I not showed any symptoms for two years? Is it possible to have herpes and test negative? 

0 likes, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • FelizCastus
    FelizCastus hayley39028

    Posted

    Which type do you have? If HSV1, the blood test can sometimes miss it in some people (much better detection for HSV2). Depends on the test kit and test type, too. Was he tested by HerpeSelect, for IgG or IgM? Has he ever had cold sores as a child? Odds are you got it from him. Yes, herpes can lay dormant for years before first outbreak, but the vast majority of people (well over 70%) get their first outbreak within two weeks of infection.
    • mimi201717
      mimi201717 FelizCastus

      Posted

      Question is it possible to have a burning sensation ONLY with never outbreaks after a year of diagnosed?

      I did a blood test a year ago with positive 1&2 never had an outbreak but l get warm feeling around vulva and buttocks

    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus mimi201717

      Posted

      Was that the IgG blood test, and if so, how did you score for both HSV 1 and 2? Having HSV1 (orally or wherever else) can greatly reduce symptoms of HSV2. It can also cause a false positive for HSV2 in some cases when using the HerpeSelect test kit. So, it could be a couple of things.
    • hayley39028
      hayley39028 FelizCastus

      Posted

      he can't remember what he took. I specifically told him what to take, and I'm sure he took the wrong test. Because it makes no sense otherwise.

    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus hayley39028

      Posted

      Was that confirmed by a swab test at the time you had lesions? How was your bf tested, and how long after you both had flu-like symptoms? Have you seen his test results?
    • hayley39028
      hayley39028 FelizCastus

      Posted

      He was sick first. About a week after we had sex, And at the time described that he had a weird sensation up his leg some pain along with the flu. He didn't go to the dr. And the next week I was sick, and developed what I thought was a weird rash and went to the dr. Doc swabbed the lesion  for me. I'm not sure what test my bf took, and he hasn't shown me the results. But I never got mine to take home. I do feel like he's being shady about it.

    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus hayley39028

      Posted

      They don't always give you the lab report, so sometimes you need to ask for it. The illness you both had is suspicious, but could be unrelated. Tough one without knowing more details about his test. Either he gave it to you, or you carried it from before but never had any recognised symptoms until the outbreak and he has been lucky to not contract it thus far. Maybe you can both test again, together, for IgG now that it's been 3 months.

  • lauralo1001
    lauralo1001 hayley39028

    Posted

    It seems probable that your current partner transmitted you herpes. Also he's being ridiculous if he doesn't want to perform oral sex on you, there have been very few (practically none) reports of someone contracting oral HSV 2, and even if that were to happen you suffer from no outbreaks since it's not well adapted to the skull area. That's based on the presumption he doesn't have HSV 2, if he does have HSV 2 then he can't re catch it so any type of sex shouldn't be a problem. I'm really sorry your partner is judging you for this, maybe deep down he knows he has the virus and by shifting it on you it's a defensive mechanism to hide the guilt. (Just my opinion though, your real situation could be a whole lot different)

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