Fear, anxious, losing my mind. Am I normal or am I going crazy

Posted , 9 users are following.

I'm a month off 49 and feel so old and feel like I have no life left. Old, ugly, angry, anxious and SUPER sensitive and mean as cat s**t sometimes.

If I put a smile on my face it would crack I'm sure.

I feel like my husband has had enough and that I'm going to lose him.

I drink to calm down and to take a breather from this all and I smoke; both of which I feel are going to kill me at that very minute but not interested in giving either up as they're the only things keeping me from going completely crazy I feel.

As soon as something is going my way or I get happy I have a doom feeling like I'm going to die and not get to ever experience happiness again.

One minute I'm anxious, the next I'm depressed and the next I'm happy which is not often. But mostly anxious.

I don't feel womanly at all to the point I'd rather dress in crappy clothes that are comfy rather than dress in feminine clothing that's uncomfortable and cold.

I hate the way I feel and want to know how long does this last or is it the old saying 'how long is a piece of string'

Any other women feel this way and is there anything to help that's natural as I don't want hrt, my mother took that and died at age 52.

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    Oh!!! I can relate to the emotions and anxiety!! I get it!! It stinks! I'm 45 and feel 90. The anxiety is a game changer!!!!! I'm sure there are natural products. I would love to hear about some myself. You are not alone!!

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  • Posted

    Hi, Im sending you a cyber hug as I understand all you are going through. Please forgive me if this all sounds a bit prescriptive, but you can disregard it if you want to. I was the same age when I got the giant meno slap in the face. One day youre fine and the next your body is going crazy. Im hoping you het loads of helpful advice about HRT etc. I didnt take it but many experts recommend it in low doses. Its worth having a chat with an empathetic doctor. My GP said she generally prescribes it when women feel at the end of their tether. I smoked too and managed to give it up with the help of Champix about 2 years into menpause. Its the best thing I ever did for myself. Ive learned that you have to do loads of research for yourself...finding this site is a great start. Do all you can to keep healthy...diet, exercise etc. Take vitamins and minerals specially for menopause. Accept that this is a really really crap time of life. The most important thing is that it will pass and life will become easier again. Talk to women who are the same age or older, are the menopause groups local to you? Honestly, talking to women in the same boat was sometimes the only time I didnt feel violent! I was so defensive, hated my body and the lack of control. If you can afford it, pamper yourself, find nice clothes that are comfy, have a nap if youre tired.... Think about seeing a herbalist. Try to explain to your husband what you are feeling....maybe show him this forum. My man didnt know what to say or do with me, but we bumped our way through somehow. Vent forth on here, day or night. Dont think youre alone, cos believe me, youre not. I think the professionals fail us at this stage of life. Put the lid on the bottle, and dont have a drink every day. Im hoping by this time tomorrow you will have had loads of replies and feel youre not alone. Take care, wil be thinkng good thoughts for you. Xxx
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  • Posted

    I don't feel old BUT the way my body is I do feel old--if that makes sense..  I have no motivation to do what I did 6 months ago.  I have no desire to exercise or eat healthy (but I do try).. I will try to drink more water, fruits and veggies but I know I will fail--no willpower.  I don't even feel like shopping, it seems like a chore!!  I'm happy to wear super comfortable clothes. I get basic stuff around the house finished but barely.   I hate this feeling..really I do.  I'm 48 going on 75.   My feet hurt, I feel tired mostly.  I work part-time and can barely handle that, the thought of full-time is very scary to me which I will soon as these kids get older.

    I still get periods and keep taking vitimins but maybe I am depressed.. who knows.. I don't have the best support system (husband) as he is too focused on work but I do have extended family and friends.  Or maybe it's hormones..   

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    • Posted

      And the brain fog too..  just feel 'out of it' most days or it's that lethargic feeling of being tired.  I woke up did what I needed to for the kids felt good BUT now I feel crappy...   Don't know what that is except hormones maybe. I will try to 'up' my D and iron and see if that helps.

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  • Posted

    I live on Rescue remedy these days because of these feelings.  I woke up this morning feeling content for the first time in months (upon waking) and within an hour I was back down in that doom and gloom anxious feeling.  I hate it too.  I will go take rescue remedy and I will feel better in a few minutes, but it always comes back.  I hate this perimenopause!

    I have a very hard time liking some people these days, there are some that I just avoid at all cost because they are just too much for me to even be in the same room with.  I used to be able to at least tolerate everyone for a short period of time...hahaha...but now they can put me in a mood almost instantly

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  • Posted

    Oh honey, I know exactly what you mean.  I'm experiencing all you describe and I feel like I'm a completely different person nowadays.  I behave like a ravenous pit bull with a personality disorder most of the time.  I know I feel better when I avoid caffeine, alcohol and sugar - which I can usually manage for a couple of weeks and then lapse!  But I do feel the difference.  Also, exercising and eating lean protein, veg and fruit; no carbs helps. Though that's like morphing into Gwyneth Paltrow - but without her money!! wink

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  • Posted

    Hi there, I recently started to participate in this forum and even being on for almost a week and a half now. I completely lost myself and fell into depression as the aniety attacks became so severe and had aabout 1 every second day. So bad that I felt I was dying of a heartattack, that I have some dreadfull decease, and that i was busy losing my mind and will be admitted in a "crazyhouse". I even experienced trembling, shaking and shiverring from head to toe. I went to my gp and have to face reality now and must drink xanor everyday and antidepressants. Not happy about this at all, also seeing a counsilor now to try and cope with the anxiety. Thing is, I get terrible heart palpitations, these cause me to get anxious and this causes my heart rate to go beyond control and then it gets to a point that i cannot get myself to calm down and get a panic/anxiety attach. So yes there are woman that experience terrible anxiety in menopause. It is hell! Visit a local healthshop, sure there is natural remedies that would help.

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