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I'm a month off 49 and feel so old and feel like I have no life left. Old, ugly, angry, anxious and SUPER sensitive and mean as cat s**t sometimes.
If I put a smile on my face it would crack I'm sure.
I feel like my husband has had enough and that I'm going to lose him.
I drink to calm down and to take a breather from this all and I smoke; both of which I feel are going to kill me at that very minute but not interested in giving either up as they're the only things keeping me from going completely crazy I feel.
As soon as something is going my way or I get happy I have a doom feeling like I'm going to die and not get to ever experience happiness again.
One minute I'm anxious, the next I'm depressed and the next I'm happy which is not often. But mostly anxious.
I don't feel womanly at all to the point I'd rather dress in crappy clothes that are comfy rather than dress in feminine clothing that's uncomfortable and cold.
I hate the way I feel and want to know how long does this last or is it the old saying 'how long is a piece of string'
Any other women feel this way and is there anything to help that's natural as I don't want hrt, my mother took that and died at age 52.
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