Fear of drinking alcohol and it bothers me
Posted , 7 users are following.
Hey everyone,
When I was 15 to 17 years old I used to drink quit often, smoked weed on almost daily base and took XTC and magic mushrooms. Well tbh I will never gonna do stuff like weed, xtc, mushrooms anymore because i'm not the type of person for that. I dont regret taking though. I was in a difficult time period and I was experimenting on how to feel better etc.
When I turned 18 I created a anxiety disorder due a pretty large period from my 5th to 13th with heavy mental abuse. I walked around with it after that period was over till I collapsed.
I have a generalized anxiety disorder where I go for to a therapist 2 times a week and I take 10mg fluoxetine everyday. I almost gonna turn 20 so i'm dealing with this heavy anxiety disorder for 2 years almost.
Somethings I do mis which I could do in the past. I don't feel free anymore and anything I do.. There is always this stupid anxiety. Which I said before; I don't gonna do any drugs anymore in my life, but the one thing I DO mis is the pleasure of some alcohol now and then.
I feel like i'm the only person which could not drink alcohol because of anxiety. When I drink( yes I did some attemps I got a crazy amount of derealisation and the fear of losing control of myself. I really hate this and I gives me a extreme feeling that i'm not free anymore to do what I would like. The funny thing is that my therapist helps a lot of people with a drinking addiction, but I am the only that she would like to drink more alcohol lol.
I know its not commitment to drink alcohol, but I always liked it before I had a disorder, so I got hope that I could enjoy it one day without anxiety and just enjoy a glass of beer.
It's just so frustrating... Its like my mind is trapped in a cage. This is not the only which bothers me by a long run btw, but its a good example from things which are make me feel like im trapped and im not a free person anymore. I searched a lot on the internet for anxiety for alcohol, but I couldnt find anything actually.
Can someone give me advice?
0 likes, 13 replies
Contakt2
Posted
A quick note; I do smoke cigarettes. Thats a addiction that I had created before the disorder. I'm not proud of it, but I don't feel strong enough to stop on this moment. It don't give me anxiety, BUT it do give me anxiety when I don't smoke for a while. I told myself that i'm going to stop with it when I defeated most of my anxiety. Hope that day will ever come tho..
unlovedscared Contakt2
Posted
Coto what does 5th to 13th mean? Are you on any medication for your anxiety?
Contakt2 unlovedscared
Posted
Ah sorry 5 years old till 13 years old. English isn't my native language 😉 I take fluoxetine(prozac) 10MG. Thats like the minimum that you can take with this medicine. I don't know if its really helpful actually. Can only say that when I stop taking it, but my therapist doesnt recommend to stop at this moment due the fact that my overall anxiety is too high.
Sway Contakt2
Posted
Prozac is an antidepressant it may not necessarily ease you're anxiety. I'm on klonopin and have been for a long time. I here people talk about benzos and things like that but I also can go days without taking it and be fine. The drinking thing. Drinking for me is not a big deal. I drank once in a while when I was younger and I grew up in restaurants and bars. But if it's something you miss but you're anxiety is high over it try a little wine. Some have a sweet taste to it unlike beer and hard liquor where you may be able to trick you're mind you're drinking juice or something.
Sway
Posted
I smoke too at times.
Contakt2 Sway
Posted
The problem for me is that I feel like every little that is going on in my body and mind. I will automatically focus on that and that makes me anxious + the fear of losing control. I don't drink coffee with caffeine for example. That gets me in a hyperventilation right away, but soft drinks like a sprite which also contains caffeine doesn't make me anxious. I don't think I can trick myself with drinking wine instead of beer. Tbh I think 'sweet' wine is the most disgusting thing ever haha. I do like the taste of things like beer and red wine, but the alcohol just makes me immediately anxious. It feels and maybe sounds like the most dumb thing ever, but you don't want to know how it feels to not have the freedom to do what you want to do. I always visited parties with friends and now that period is completely over because of the generalized anxiety, but also for the fact I can't even drink one beer. I make music myself and I want to go for inspiration and the feel of it etc. But this f*****g anxiety keeps getting in the way of my life. I just want to be free.
Sway Contakt2
Posted
Sprite does not have caffeine in it. I'm not a big caffeine person so when I do drink soda I tend to drink caffeine free and sprite is one of them. See anxiety is fear and in order to overcome a fear you must hit it head on. It's easier said then done. My anxiety in some things is so high I have a problem too but then once in awhile I just say f u c k it and hurry up and do it. Then focus on something else. But that's me. But there are many times I can't.
Contakt2 Sway
Posted
Didn't know sprite didnt have caffeine, but it was just a example actually. I don't have problems with all soda's. Only drinks I cant handle are Red Bull and coffee. I know what you mean with that strong thought like f u c k it and lets go. I have that myself but its very rare. What kind of anxiety do you have then?
Sway Contakt2
Posted
I'll PM you.
MarvinMartian Contakt2
Posted
Tell you the truth, I dank very slightly, enjoyed it most times. Did not drink to get drunk. However since I developed anxiety I also now can't stand alcohol. It does not bother me though, I rather protect my brain and get rid of my anxiety. That my number 1 goal. Get better then see if alcohol matters to you.
Contakt2 MarvinMartian
Posted
sure getting rid of anxiety is my number one goal also. Generalized anxiety had me lose my study, job, friends and a lot of other things. But just that feeling(and thats not only with alcohol for me) that you can't be free of what you want to do with life is such a struggle.
linds00809 Contakt2
Posted
Hi Coto,
To be honest I get the same fear. I used to use substance to numb how i was feeling, calm anxiety etc but i was not looking after myself, i was lost.
I do drink now, if i want to drink i control it as much as i can, i.e. have small glass low percentage wine dilluted with water. I do like the calm feeling, especially if getting a panic attack or afraid to go outside id have a sip--- its like people may use vallium, obviously abusing alcohol and benzos will only make matters worse, but keep in mind anti depressants and alcohol aint a great combination, also can increase seretonin.
If you wanna have a glass, be just weary, i was on anti depressants, and drank heavy in my teens, the side effects i was getting were horrible.
Just be careful 😃
jan34534 Contakt2
Posted
im surprised your therapist wants u to drink .normally drinking and anxiety dont mix well. you may initially calm down, but the effects on an anxious brain end up increasing anxiety. i cant drink because of this.