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Fear of going deaf ruining my life

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serendipity1996
serendipity1996

I have tinnitus that is very mild I would say it's 'barely there' however my ears, in particular my left one constantly feel full of air constantly which worries me. Anyway, I am guessing that the damage I do have has been noise-induced. I am 20 right now and when I think back over the past 10 years or so I have used headphones a lot and sometimes for prolonged periods to listen to music. I don't think I ever made a conscious decision to blast my music but tbh there were times (probably a lot) where I would end up turning up the volume after getting used to it but I would never go out and purposefully blast tunes to the max but it was probably above 85db anyway...I used to think only ear-splitting volumes would damage your ears but actually after learning about varying decibel levels, I probably listened to music at 'unsafe' volumes for periods of time as 85 decibels really isn't tremendously loud.

I have also been out clubbing a fair bit since coming to university two years ago and have experienced the usual ringing in my ears after a night out but it would always go away. Nonetheless, I am still extremely paranoid and anxious about my hearing - I may not have irritating debilitating tinnitus but I am worried that the damage will creep up on me in years to come. It's got to the point where I dread the future and feel very depressed and constantly have suicidal thoughts because of this. 

I was reading an article the other day and this sentence sent me into a spiral of anxiety: 

"Hearing specialists say the cases they're seeing now may be only the start of trouble for this generation because accumulated noise damage develops slowly and insidiously. A 15-year-old who regularly cranks the volume on his player for hours at a time may not experience any noticeable problems until he or she is in their mid- to late-20s."

I have this gut feeling that I have irreparably damaged my hearing and I am at the end of my tether. I spend my days lying in bed because I'm too depressed to do anything. I'm so scared of being deaf by the time I am 30 which is still relatively young but my life would be over. I can't live my life with this horrendous anxiety any longer. Is my worry overblown? I feel like I've really latched on to that doom-laden article excerpt. I don't know if the issue lies more with my anxiety or my actual ears but I feel I have no hope for the future and it's killing me. My worry is making me cry uncontrollably and feel suicidal with absolutely no hope for the future. Please help.

0 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • lisalisa67
    lisalisa67 serendipity1996

    Posted

    Wait is this a fear based in something  real? Have you visited the gp to discuss any if this? Get an exam.

    If this is health anxiety or ocd stuff you need to get this managed. Talk to your gp. Your running with this terrible fear with no real ohysical basis at all. 

     

    • serendipity1996
      serendipity1996 lisalisa67

      Posted

      I haven't been to see a doctor no, which is ridiculous. Even if they say my hearing is fine I would still be anxious worrying about 'what about 10-20 years down the line.' I'm not in the UK this year but am going to try and get some sort of counselling or mental health support because I think it's health anxiety spiralling out of control.

  • remygirl
    remygirl serendipity1996

    Posted

    My mom is going deaf, she has been going to every concert she can and hearing all she can. I honestly think its the best thing that has ever happened to her. My mom was bed ridden the first 12 years of my life. Then one day she got up despite everything that was wrong with her and just started living. Now she goes out more then any person I know. The worst thing I have ever done was read into my symptoms or aticles, stay away from that or you'll just put more in your head. Your not deaf so don't stop living. I know its scary that it could be a possibility to go deaf, but they do have ways to help it like cochlear implants. I also used to have tintunitus/ ringing in the ears and it randomly went away one day. You never know.. keep your head up. <3

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