Fear of ms
Posted , 2 users are following.
Hello everyone.
I am a male of 30 years old with long experience with anxiety. Especially health one.
My biggest fear is of neurological diseases, since 2014. Back than I would say it was probably without sense as my symptoms mostly were tiring of muscles. And one that now subsided a little, which is when I wake up during the night I cannot see properly on one eye for a couple of minutes and then everything is ok. and occasional shaking after physical activity.
Then I graduated in 2019. started working and came back home, I noticed shaking hand while yawning and tremors in lower back and legs while bending over and got twitching. I got really scared, did not sleep for days, lost weight, always checking my strength etc. Felt like I am always tired, always on low energy etc... I went to three neurologists, did emng and other test and everything was fine.
And it was like that for 3 years. Then I had unfortunate events, my brother dying, my girlfriend leaving me and it really stressed me out. I started training and feeling worse and worse. Tremors started being worse and I tremor whenever I am using muscles, for example carrying something etc... Also I noticed my lips tremor sometimes when I blow coffee and tea. I notices my back shakes when I get my leg up and down slowly. or when I lift my arms down slowly. My neck tremors when I try to push something with my head. Or when I am hangover and turning my head slowly. My voice tend to shake from time to time more than before. When I sing long tones it shakes like never before For last 15 days I think I have problems with erectile disfunction (but I still have ocessional nocturnal erections), but cannot get it up with girl or by myself properly. When I am nervous, it is all three times worse, my legs shake while going down the stairs, my head tilt s uncontrolably and so on... So it seems that every aspect of neurological disease is there and it is worsening by the time. It is not noticable for others yet I think as no one said anything to me yet, but I feel really, really bad and it does not seem to go away. I am now pretty overweight and inactive for a year or more, but I never felt worse. I am so scared that if go again to neurologist they will find MS and with that assurance I will progress quickly and end up in wheelchair. On other hand I wouldn't believe if they tell me everything is fine because I know people who got diagnosis after 10 or more years. And without neuro check up there is still a little piece of me which believes this is all in my head, or it will stay at this level and I will be able to live full life. I stopped dating, stopped thinking of starting family because I think I will end up rid to bed in like 5 years. I want to cry often because I think that I will become a burden for my old parents and I don't know what to do. Quality of my life is worse than ever and does not seem it will improve. I am in deep despair.
Please tell me that all this can be in my head, please tell me that someone else is going trough same thing. I do not know how to keep fighting with this.
Hoping for your answers and praying for you health.
Best regards!
0 likes, 4 replies
jan34534 Rogola
Posted
I went through something similar and I know how it feels. I had all the testing and everything was normal. Have you had a physical check up with your primary care doctor recently? I do that so that I know what all my blood levels are and make sure everything is OK. my physical sensations are from long-term stress and anxiety. I also thought I had MS. Believe it or not anxiety and stress can cause hundreds of different physical sensations leaving you feeling exhausted, frightened and not living a good life.
have you ever had closure with the events in your life such as your brother passing away, etc.? Have you spoken with a counselor?
if they didn’t find MS last time, I really doubt they would find it now. It would have shown up back then.
The body can only take so much stress before it has a breakdown which is what happen with me. And that could be what’s happening with you. Get yourself a good counselor and a physical check up with your primary care doctor if you haven’t done so already. try to reduce your anxiety as much as you can because that increases the sensations that you don’t like. Listen to some meditations for anxiety on YouTube, make sure you’re eating healthy, and get some exercise even if it’s just walking. Start taking care of your physical body and your anxiety and you might start to feel better physically. And mentally. take care
Rogola jan34534
Posted
Thank you for your reply, Jan!
This is really scary, especially tremors which never go away. Than I think to myself OK, it wouldn't be so worse when you are stressed and nervous, but than I read about neuro disorders which are worsen in stress situations. Than I think okay, this ED is psychological and from obesity, you have nocturnal erection occasionally, but than I read that nocturnal erections can be even in people with ms without these non nocturnal. Everything I try to find to reassure myself ends differently, getting a point for MS. I do not know what to do, honestly. I was hanging okay, thinking I will be functional for more years, and than as a young man who got ED 20 days ago, scared that it is from MS, it was final straw for this decompensation I am having these days.
jan34534 Rogola
Edited
I had to stop looking things up online because they never pertain to my individual situation or yours. They only show the worst case of everything. So I would highly recommend that you stop looking things up. You’re not going to find reassurance on there. and you’re going to feel worse physically because it makes your sensations worse.
Were you tested for MS? If you were tested and it was negative then you can get that off your mind immediately.
I think if you had something really serious you would be in a lot worse shape by now.
Focus on reducing the anxiety which may be the cause for all of this. Also start thinking more positively. When you keep telling yourself you’re going to end up in a wheelchair and get worse, you are sending a message to your brain that that is going to happen. That actually will weaken you , just those thoughts over long periods of time! I know this from experience. You must be positive! And take one day at a time. You may not feel 100% but you can feel a lot better.
Rogola jan34534
Posted
Thank you a lot, Jan!
your words are really comforting and what I needed the most.
I have been on 3 neurological exams 3 years ago, and also had Emng i tnt tests conducted with nothing found.