Fear of Vomit? What now?

so for years and years now I've had a massive phobia of vomiting! I remember the day that triggered like it was yesterday: I remember sitting in my bed on late Christmas Eve as a young teenager watching a film and all of a sudden I was sick, I can't remember what I felt like before or how it felt, I just remember being sick! Ever since then I've panciked at the sight, smell and though or even someone mentioning they feel sick! Even on Christmas Eve now I panick more than ever!

Recently I've been diagnosed with anxiety and I suffered with mild depression about 3 years ago! it's coming to the point where I have a panick attack nearly 5/6 times a week! There is a day now that goes by without me worrying about throwing up! Strange thing is I'm usually fine in the day it's when it comes to night that I start to get nervous!

The thing is whenever someone say the feel ill I started to get all worked up to the point where I won't eat anything if I feel like I have a stomach ache! And the fact that I haven't eaten makes my stomach hurt so I don't eat ect. It's a viscous circle! I constant worry about meat being cooked properly and get people to eat it or check it before I eat it! I constantly have a gassy stomach from where I panick and then end up with what my dad likes to call "nervous indigestion". I super panick when the stomach winter bug is going around and use excessive amounts of hand gel and burn my hands with hot water to clean them!

I've been to the doctors hundreds of times and they have offered me blood tests, tablets, endoscopy and colonoscopy! but I'm too nervous Incase they make me throw up! The doctors reccomended me some anti depressant tables called sertraline, but I heard bad stuff about it makes you feel nauseous so that's a big no no!

It's becoming too much now and I wanted to know how everyone else copes and what they reccomend!

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