fear stomach cancer- suicidal thoughts

Posted , 9 users are following.

Hi guys, firstly I'm 23. And I am terrified.

4 months ago started having stabbing pains in my upper abdomen- sightly to the right. Since about 2 months ago everything has gone out of kilter. I have nausea 24/7; severe right side pain; loss of appetite; feeling full quickly; am absolutely exhausted, needing a lot more sleep than usual; some of my stools look yellow/lighter; & I have horrendous acid reflux. I'm belching all the time, and thus tasting acid in my throat- often I have a lump there. On top of that, my periods have gone awl & I've having severe pelvic pain.

I've had blood tests, & an ultrasound on pelvis and upper abdomen - all normal. I've been so persistent with doctors, going weekly and sometimes to out of hours services. I'm on a waiting list for gastro and gynea consultations. This has taken me months to even get those, but yet still more waiting. I'm absolutely terrified that I may have some sort of cancer, stomach or pancreatic. Doctors doubt it will be serious, and I'm not a priority so must wait for referrals.

In the meantime, my life feels over. I'm having suicidal thoughts- but not in the traditional sense. I'm desperate to be alive, and feel normal. I'm so scared it will be taken from me, and that I will decline. Anti-depressants might not be a good choice as they can increase acid in the stomach. My whole life is on hold, I never finished writing my dissertation. I'm just waiting in misery to find out what's wrong with me. I wasn't depressed before, but it has crept in. I just want my life back, and I'm finding it hard to imagine its something other than a serious illness. I can't cope

0 likes, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi anna84551

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologise for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    If you are based outside of the UK.

    The Samaritans is a UK based charity, but they also have suggestions for how you can access help in other countries.

    Please have a look at this page https://www.befrienders.org/directory


  • Posted

    hi, sorry to hear of your horrendous times. Your symptoms sound somewhat similar to mine. in february this year i started with stabbing pains to my upper right abdomen, i got the all clear from ultrasound checking fot gallstones. then since may i have been sick every day, sometimes between 10-15 times. i have numerous tests and am currently under the care of a specialist who is struggling to find out whats causing the vomiting. i have an MRI test on my small bowel on monday next week and another endoscopy on the wednesday (had endoscopy a couple of months ago but they didnt take any biopsies). i myself have thought allsorts, best to try and stay off google as thats what i kept on doing and it makes you super anxious. i would ask GP to refer you to specialist. hope you start to feel better soon.

  • Posted

    i am in a similar position to yourself with regards to acid reflux, i was put on omeprozole for a month but it didnt touch it, i kept on it for three months but still no improvement.

    i was then told by the doctor it doesnt work for 50% of people.

    i then took gaviscon and it worked much better for me, i informed the doctor i have a major history of stomach cancer with 7 men all dying if it in my family including my grandad and all his brothers!!

    despite this the doctor wasnt concerned and all he said was that at my age of 34 it would be extremely rare, at your age it would be almost unheard of for stomach cancer.

    ie started getting fitter and its helping but it it only takes a couple of bad meals and im

    back to square one.

    im sure your anxiety is also aiding the symptoms so its worth seeking some mental help i would say.

    stabbing pain in the upper right side coule be gallbladder and as youve got acid reflux and pain from the gallbladder area id say it sounds purely acid related, the biggest sign i was told to look out for from th doctor was sudden weight loss but for total piece of mind id ask for an endoscopy to be sure, once thats over you may feel better and the cycle of symptoms and worry may die down.

  • Posted

    Has your doctor mentioned IBS? Does your pain move about? Periods can feel more painful with IBS.No scans or tests will show this condition. I felt desperate and hopeless when waiting for my abdominal pain, nausea and bowel habit change to be diagnosed, I went to medical appointments on a weekly basis too for three and a half months and tests were all normal. In the end, IBS was diagnosed. I had the same fears as you and had great difficulty accepting reassurances from my doctor or anyone else. However, you should believe your doctor when they say they don't think it is anything serious because if they had thought otherwise, you would have been referred for high priority, urgent tests.

  • Posted

    Hi Anna. Stop thinking the worst scenarios. You are making yourself sick. Your doctors should be checking for stones or gall disease. All your symptoms sound too familiar. I know it sucks to be sick all the time. But you have to be super strong and if you are in anti-depressants sorry. You must not give up. Fight for your life back I did. That's Another story. Be strong and tell yourself I will be well again. Hey Be Safe and Take Care ok.

  • Posted

    So sorry Anna...it is O.K. yo feel despair and sense of hopeless when suffering. But you MUST never think of suicide. I had cancer and cured it number one. Keeping on top of it seeing the doctors and being relentless on them is the only way to get peace of mind. They will be spending several years diagnosing, testing, and narrowing down the symptoms till finally the monster shows it's face. The suffering will always be extreme especially struggling with every day life. Stress will take you to the limits and seeing a psychiatrist does NOT mean your insane, just that your brain needs medicine to help ease the suffering. Taking your medicine is essential and communicating your pains with the doctors will help reveal the issue. You are in stage one of trying to find out what the culprit is. Peace of mind begins to come around when they finally solve what it is. But your pain and suffering is permanent. You must adapt and cope with your disease because giving up is not going to solve it. I am sure there are people who will be affected by your absence and you will not complete your destiny. You are here to help others like all of us in this forum. We suffer so others do not have to suffer. This is how a cure is created. Today the doctors find children with our issues and begin the fight much earlier than before giving them a chance to invent, create, and support society. Hang in there..keep seeing the doctors..It would be wrong of me to play doctor or god and try to tell you what your problem is and a cure. ONLY you can find ways to adapt and cope. Every time I get diagnosed with a new disease..I work around i to get to the good moments in life. There are some good days among all those bad days!!! Be sure to help people and do things to take your mind off issues too. You have this!! You are taking first step and looking for solutions so I know your gonna be fine!!

  • Posted


    Sounds like IBS and Dyspepsia. And also extreme anxiety. I hope you find the help you need. Fight like crazy!

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