Fearful - unsure

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I have noticed character changes in my wife for the past three or so years. This last year her sons have expressed their concerns as to their mother's memory and character change. Also there has been quite a rapid deterioration in memory, logic, opinions and decisions. No one has said dimentia or Alzheimers to me but my wife recently started on Donepezil by a Psychiatrist who visited her here at home and interviewed her for two hours. My wife told me that the pills were 'to help her with her memory'.

I should be glad for tips as to what I should and should not do. 

for example, a couple of months ago I got very frustrated and shouted at her. Her distress was very extreme and I thought very childish. I realised I could not express my feelings like that again.

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  • Posted

    I am sorry to hear about your wife condition, its happen to me 6 months ago, my son was very upset with my condition, I was not aware of what my condition was though..until my son and my husband patiently explained to me the fact and fear and very empathy toward me..they also showed me how important I am to them...perhaps you could try to understand her situation..be more patience and gentle and understanding, it could be stress also if she has a close friends or families it would be a great idea to ask them to support you by inviting them to be with her from time to time...but communication I think is the best before doing anything else..shows her that you both care and she is such a vital role in your life...I hope this information help you a bit...as that helped my family and I
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    • Posted

      Bless you for that kindly and truly helpful reply. Indeed it  gives me some idea how it is from her point of view. That is so helpful for me struggling to find a way to retain our unity and happiness. 

      That helps me to understand her defensive replies to me. Her questions too are usually phrased in an agressive and perjoritive way. (New behaviour these last couple of years.) Perhaps that is part of her defence. 

      She has not been willing to get involved with consultants and Macmillan nurses when I was in the throes of my cancer treatment. I was surprised. I accepted that and dribbled information to her. That worked. Perhaps that  was just, unknown to me, because she had enough fear and difficulty with what she felt and knew was going on with her. 

      Thank you so much for your kind reply. I wish you and your family many blessings. I hope you gain treatment that will slow progress in this frightening disease and that there will be continued joy and family stregnth among you.


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  • Posted

    Hi George,

    I hope your relationship getting better. We are actually in the same both, my husband used to have cancer and eventhough he is on remission he is still under the management treatment of cancer by his oncologist, can you imagine how scare I was??, but each person react differently..I am quite strong in the way of mentally (the faith background) is really help. when I was really down..I called my ex manager (who  now become my best friend) as I dont want to make my son more worry..and my  friend sned me this beautiful book based on faith..when I read it..it really give me strenght. Not every one believe in GOD, but I went to church since I received that book..I feel more tranquil/peaceful and able to cope with lots of thing.

    If you ever down ..start taking a deep breath and think..we are here for a purpose we do not know why..however what ever we experiencing..it must be for a reason..and you have to believe that high being is going to make everything allright in the end...

    So I send this message with prayer for you and your family

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    • Posted

      Dear B2wc,

      thank you for this further message. i am very grateful. I am glad you find that your trust in God helps and comforts you in your sore trial. It seems daunting enough to have one's spouse suffering in this way and to look to the future with some dread, without it being an affliction in your own body.

      Thank you for your prayers. I am very grateful to you for this great kindness. Some 40 odd years ago I had an enormous surprise and found that I can trust God for everything through God the Son, Jesus Christ. I have long know that our travels through this world will include hurt and difficulties as well as joys and happinesss. Ultimately we have to trust him that as he has triumphed over death, he will bring us safely through. As I understand it is our spirits that are carried through death and at his Coming we will be given a new spiritual body conformed to the body of our Lord Jesus.

      Meantime by his help and those he sends in our way, we must struggle through to our life's end. Thank you for your help. I am so glad to have it.

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