Fears of everything

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Since being diagnosed with Anxeity and OCD I have “self diagnosed” myself with so many diseases, such as MS, ASL, brain tumor , cancer, and so much more. Now the new intrusive thought is you probably have schizophrenia all because I literally saw like something black from the corner of my eye.Once! (Like when you look to fast, idk if it’s happened to anyone else but I freaked myself out) I hate having this type of thoughts. I just wish I could let these thoughts go but once I think it I immediately know this is going to stick with me. About two weeks ago it was “ what if you get fired “ that went on and on and on. I’ve had worse thoughts but those have faded.  Has anyone else with anxiety ever though you had schizophrenia? I’m just trying to get over this thought but I can’t. I hate living in fear of the unknown ... or living like I know what I have. 

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  • Posted

    Dear DeeNicole, 

    YES YES AND ONE MORE YES! I’ve been through the thoughts,fears and anxieties that you have expounded on W/O having serious mental disorders.

    I was afraid of ulcers, heart attacks, arthritis etc... I had just graduated College, got married and became quite depressed..this depression was then coupled with fear of fear! I was only 22years of age. When I came to the point of not trying so hard not to have these thoughts I would just get more obsessed with them.

    ACCEPTANCE of your thoughts and looking at the worst case scenario if one of those illnesses did come upon you and then minimizing it gave me great comfort. I hope you’re getting out of the house after work. It seems like the more we seclude ourselves from others the more phobias we take on. I felt like once I wasn’t afraid of fear any longer the less power it had over me!

    Just recently one of the greatest fears in my life, having a heart attack, kind of happened to me. I had an abnormal EKG and I was rushed to the hospital...The attending physician thought I was indeed having a heart attack. Here all these years of worrying about this came into fruition and you know what? I was as cool as a cucumber. I took every test they could give me and I passed them with flying colors! Here all those hours and hours of fear, for what? NOTHING!

    As Franklin Delano Roosevelt said “The only thing to fear is fear itself” That phrase haunted me for years because I was afraid of fear and what anxiety could do to my physical health. I didn’t think anyone could relate to my feelings.. I was so wrong! I’ve talked with numerous individuals with these same thoughts... HOPE ... Hold on to it because as it left me in time it will leave you as well..Obviously I’m not a Doctor..Just a lowly College graduate in psychology..

    I just had to write to you because I can relate and have gone over a decade FREE from fear!

    Because I care,

    Prodigious 

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    • Posted

      Wow hearing your story is literally inspiring. I hope I can get to where you are one day. This is the toughest thing to do.... accepting my anxiety. I try to do what you said and “act” as if it was true... but I still get freaked out. My therapist told me I should try to say ok I have it now what. But it’s just really rough. I know sometimes my thoughts are irrational but I can’t keep from fearing them. I feel like I am going to make myself get one of these Illness's. Ugh.... 

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    • Posted

      Dear D N,

      I was one of the worst hypocrite of all time! Now through time I don’t fear illnesses. Believe me if I got through this stage in my life, you will too.

      It’s has a lot to do with time. Sometimes time itself is a great healer!

      Listen to this irrational fear I had.....

      I live in the Northwest and I even feared riding the trolley cars in San Francisco!! That makes absolutely no sense... I wasn’t going to San Francisco and never planned to! Crazy huh?

      I ended up on a trolley car 15 years later leaning as far as possible out into traffic saying audibly “I’m free... I’m Free”

      Love

      Prodigious 

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  • Posted

    You could be a hypochondriac as far as thinking about many health issues go. Lots of people suffer from that. I believe people worry about losing there job also. The thing is we can't change what might happen in the future like I was taught so no point in worrying about it. Your just absessing over everything and that can lead to health issues.

    Stress causes all kinds of problems. If you have a chat with your doctor he might be able to give you something to calm you down. Maybe a group would help with people with problems similar to yours so you know your not alone. Sometimes talking to others helps.Sorry I can't be of more help.

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    • Posted

      Good point Cindy about going to the Doctor to help relieve this pattern of fear. I ended up doing that and it was very helpful!
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    • Posted

      I am going to therapy ... it does help me. I think I am going to start journaling to help me go back and look at the things I fear... it’s just so stressful and hard. Literally sometimes don’t want to get out of bed because I know I’m awake and my mind will beggin to wonder. 
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  • Posted

    Hi DeeNicole, try to make yourself busy with work, family and friends...make new friends or you can visit to meet your close ones....best way to get rid of fear is to make yourself get busy in the things you like most...spend quality time with family....wink
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