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Fed up

Posted , 4 users are following.

Crazycat
Crazycat

I am so sick and tired of this illness !

I've been fighting for months now ( this bout ) and feel like little or no progress has been made ! 

I take my meds go to my counceling and try to remain positive yet to no avail, I am still self sabotaging with alcohol, not every day but as soon as I wake up I just want to " check out " so out comes the bottle so I can drink myself to oblivian and pass out and on the days I don't drink I still don't move off the sofa and it's a good day if I shower !! Urgh just sick to death ! 

0 likes, 19 replies

19 Replies

  • jake12070
    jake12070 Crazycat

    Posted

    Hey crazycat, sorry you are feeling like that i know it sucks!

    I recently finally managed to get down to a healthy weight and then lost half a stone because of something and have got back into my old habbits of just eating to take my mind off things, maybe not the same as you but it helps. Do you have bouts of depression that come and go within a few months instantly? xx

     

    • Crazycat
      Crazycat jake12070

      Posted

      It can just come and go like that but more often than not it creeps in incidiously over months then grips tightly until it's had enough ! Go you for losing weight, I too struggle with weight issues as put on 2 stone this past few months, move very little, no motivation to ! 

      It's just so flipping frustrating ! 

      Thank you for replying 

    • jake12070
      jake12070 Crazycat

      Posted

      Yeah i have started to put weight on again now because i have been pretty bad the past few weeks just laying in bed all day, putting clothes on and going downstairs other than to get food is a good day at the minute..

      Sorry to hear that aswell, is it triggered by anything or just creep up over little things maybe that build up until it just gets a bit too much? xx

    • Crazycat
      Crazycat jake12070

      Posted

      Sorry to hear that jake you just got to keep fighting ! 

      Depression is an awful illness and seems to do what it wants when it wants and I just have to go along for the ride as it were, yes there have been a few triggers this time but not always the case 

    • jake12070
      jake12070 Crazycat

      Posted

      Yeah i just hope one day i can wake up and be truly happy with myself and just be able to live for once, i don't ask for much, i don't expect the perfect life.. Just a happiness x

      Personally coming here and replying or talking to someone helps me so much, i hope you can beat this aswell and be happy x

    • jake12070
      jake12070

      Posted

      Just a bit of happiness*
    • Crazycat
      Crazycat jake12070

      Posted

      Ditto, it's the simple things you appreciate when you're like this ! Happiness seems so impossibly far away, I would settle for a anxiety free day at the moment !

      Yes I agree being on this forum is so very helpful as you feel less alone and I'm grateful to everyone that takes the time to chat

      Hope you can beat this illness too and find some happiness too x 

    • jake12070
      jake12070 Crazycat

      Posted

      I can't thank some people enough who i have met on here for what they have done for me since i joined. Dont mention it i love talking to people who understand and i know one reply can make all the difference smile xx
    • Crazycat
      Crazycat jake12070

      Posted

      It certainly does ! It's nice to get stuff out your own head so thanks again x 
    • Crazycat
      Crazycat jake12070

      Posted

      Anything you want to talk about ? You've listened to me, pm if you prefer x 
  • Aspinan
    Aspinan Crazycat

    Posted

    Hi Crazycat, my latest relapse in anxiety and depression has been predominantly down to my unhealthy association with alcohol.

    ive not touched a drop for 6 weeks and advised to stay off for at least another 10 weeks.

    You hit the nail on the head when you say self sabotaging, I've gone to my local alcohol dependency team and they are great as they recognise the link between alcohol and depression.

    you may need additional help from your GP but if you want to make quicker progress my advise is not to drink yourself to oblivion. 

    Nx 

    • Crazycat
      Crazycat Aspinan

      Posted

      Firstly well done you for not drinking for 6 weeks ! A massive achievement ! 

      I use alcohol to self medicate when I'm having a bad day which of late is every day although didn't have a drop last week just seem to have fell bk into that pit again ! I am well aware it is counter productive with the meds and depression but struggle when the days are so long with no end in sight. Sorry for my ramblings and thank you for your comments, keep well 

    • nicki16559
      nicki16559 Crazycat

      Posted

      I'm too are in the same boat....been fighting depression for the last 3 weeks but has been building for a while and all that time I was drinking to ease my anxiety and stop all the thoughts in my head. Went back to work today so slowly riding it out. I'm off all medication x
    • Crazycat
      Crazycat nicki16559

      Posted

      Wow that's great ! I've been off work for 5 months now and can't imagine going bk yet and it is such a hard cycle to break, you have done so well and should be proud of yourself x 
    • nicki16559
      nicki16559 Crazycat

      Posted

      Don't feel it hun still not back to myself.....got a mortgage and had so much time off battling depression I no longer get sick pay so I had no choice....I've shut myself wasn't even answering work when they called so no how u feel. On strong sleeping tablets just to sleep as the insomnia is insane xx
    • Crazycat
      Crazycat nicki16559

      Posted

      Oh I'm sorry, it's awful being ill and having to struggle with work especially when all you want to do is curl up and shut the world out, guess I'm lucky I can and do do that ! X 
    • nicki16559
      nicki16559 Crazycat

      Posted

      Yeah definitely started seeing a new guy only met twice but freaked him out with my mood swings my drinking anger spouts etc xx
    • Crazycat
      Crazycat nicki16559

      Posted

      It's difficult for people who don't suffer with depression to understand it and let's face it new relationships can be a cause of anxiety with all that getting to know one another etc so you're holding it together really well x 
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