Fed up

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I’ve had problems with my bladder for around 2 years now, I can’t hold my urine. It just comes I wet the bed up to 3 times during the night every night. Been seeing urologist tried all the medication available, so they say anyways. Nothing worked at all. So now I’m to use a catheter before bed but that’s not working at all for me. Not emptying much at all. And still wetting the bed. Now I’ve been told that it’s self catheters or a permanent one. I feel like I’m getting no help at all from the hospital. and at the end of my tether. I’m 46 for god sake. I don’t have a life at all. Can’t go on holiday had enough. Hope that someone can offer any advice at all I’m desperate now thankyou Xx

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  • Posted

    Is it just only a a night problem? Did they find the cause?

    I know it's not easy living with incontinence but try to stay positive, stress make everything worse. I would look for another doctor since for you it seems a relatively new thing they should find a cause and probably a cure. Have you checked for diabetes, constipation, hormone production? How is it started?

    Are you wearing absorbent protections? That is more easy and healty than catheters, just stay away from the permanent one since it would make everything worse (weaker bladder, infections, wounds...).

    It make me so sad when I hear of people "not having a life" or not going on holiday due incontinence, I went through that for a period so I can totally relate, but it's so wrong. With simple adjustments you can still do everything, I and other people did that, so it's possible and you need to take your life back.

    I would give you more useful advise to make you feel better. Please don't be desperate.


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    • Posted

      Hi, yes it’s mainly a night problem, but when I get the urge it just comes there’s no stopping it at all.

      I had the urodynamics test and they said I had over active bladder then Stress incontinence and urge incontinence.

      Now I’ve been told this week I have no muscles in my bladder to stop and hold it. 

      It’s horrible I can’t date so good job I’m single. Feel like I’m missing out on so much. 

      Any help or advice is grateful 

      Thankyou Helena xx

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  • Posted

    Helena I agree with Mary on using protection.  It is no big deal.  I have had to wear diapers for years now  If you find a good one you would not have to get up at all at night  If you lived here I would date you.  Keep your head up
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    • Posted


      Thankyou I guess it’s not a problem just annoying that the hospital don’t seem to be interested in sorting out this. It’s like it’s catheters or live with it. 

      When I first went to hospital and had the tests I was told there was 2 surgical options available. But now it’s this and lump it.

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  • Posted

    Hi Helena,

    I'm sorry to hear that you feel you are missing out on life because of your nighttime problem. Having dated successfully, I can say with confidence that you should just bite the bullet and date anyway. When you find someone you really click with, you'll have to have the awkward conversation, and in my case, my heart was in my throat, my voice went hoarse, and I almost choked. But I summoned up all the courage I had, and told her, and her reaction surprised me: she said "I like you, and that's a part of you, so it's okay!" I still feel embarrassed about it, but she's really okay with it all.

    If they aren't okay with some night time protection and the occasional wet sheets, then they obviously aren't all that understanding, and you probably shouldn't be dating them....

    The only other thing I would suggest is considering alternative therapies, such as acupuncture. I have a friend who had night time problems and hers cleared up after seeing an acupuncturist for a few visits. Worth considering, anyway.

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    • Posted

      Helena, do you drink a lot of tea or coffee or drinks like cola?... Anything that contains caffeine will make you want to pee more often,so its a good idea not to have any of these in the evening. Also no alcohol.

      Have you tried a bedwetting alarm pad in your bed?   It will wake you up so you can get to the toilet quicker.

      Has anyone suggested a referral to a urology physiotherapist/nurse? As well as pelvic floor exercises, there are some good  techniques which can be taught so that you can retrain your bladder.   Can you control your bladder during the day?

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    • Posted

      Hi I don’t drink tea or coffee at all never have, used to drink Pepsi but not In over 9 months now. I see a urologist sister/ nurse  every 4 weeks. But they just said to use a catheter at night before bed, that’s not working at all as still wet through the night.i don’t drink alcohol at all either.

      I asked about pelvic floor  exercises but they said they wouldn’t help me. Just so fed up with it now.

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