Fed up. Depressed. Lonely.

Posted , 4 users are following.

HI all, this is quite hard for me to talk about, but basicly, i have no friends, i have a wife and kids, but i have 0 FRIENDS. everyone i knew has turned there back on me, in my life, i have always struggled to make friends in milton keynes, and when i do finally make a good friend, they move to another area usually miles away and its virtually impossible for me to go see them due to work and family commitment or my health. I have recently thrown myself into Youtube in an aid to try and make some friends, i have been putting in a lot of work on my channel, but after 2 months of bothering, i find myself asking whats the point in doing anything?. I have 2 slipped discs, 2 trapped nerves, i have an ongoing chest condition which i have had since 2011 called Chronic costocondritis or treyze syndrome its commonly known as). I thought i found some good friends in my work at pets at home, but they all turned out to be two faced back stabbing people. I am an honest person, if someone is nice to me, i always make the effort to be nice back, crack jokes, try to be the nice guy to everyone, is it because of this that people take advantage of my good nature?.  I have been dwelling on this, and i have been fighting depression since 2009, i have thought about ending my life so many times, and the only thing that stops me, is the thought of my children. I dont have these thoughts anymore, but i did have them, now i just think i can be bothered to do anything, i dont enjoy anything, im stuck at home all the time, wife goes out to school runs, shopping etc. I cant walk around properly, and its agony for me to do anything, so throwing myself into my youtube channel was supposed to be a way for me to make new friends and try and do something while i am stuck at home. Over a year now and its not getting better. I have no one to talk too about my issues, i cant take my mind of anything because i have no one to go see, my family are dis-jointed and all live up north where i cant go visit, i have a brother whos local but we dont get on, and his wife is a stuck up snob who looks down on me and my family. Bottom line is i cant take this lonelyness anymore, i love my wife and kids, but my wife and i dont share alot of interests i am a gamer , and she plays the odd game but is not passionate about it. SO i am stuck at home all the time, i have nothing else to do, so i try to talk about it, and she either dont care or is vaguely interested. I am so tired of having no one to talk too, of having no friends, i am fed up with being bored all the time, its getting harder and harder to enjoy life, and sometimes i dont even want to wake up, my youngest son my 17 month old boy, is a light in the darkness, he keeps me going, all my kids do, but i have boned with him, that is the only good thing to come out of me stuck at home, if it wasnt for his love, then i dont think i would even be here writing this. I need to be strong for them, and for me, but its so dam hard that i am reaching the end of my tether and i dont know how long i can carry on for like this.  All i have ever wanted is a few good friends to hang around with, and have people i can count on, i have never had that, and it has made me doubt myself made me think there is something wrong with me. I have a few online friends, but that was through playing world of warcraft again different countrys. Why is it i cant meet anyone local or that they stay near me?, i know its a selfiish request, but just one good friend would be enough for me. Its driving me mad. Any advice, help , anything would be apprecaited. Thanks for reading.  Regards. Andy.

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi andy. Bless it must be quite lonely for u x i live up north too but there are some good ppl here on the forum who u can talk to or befriend. I know its not the same as meeting in person its a good place to start hey. Im not a gamer but i adored atari space invaders pacman back in the day. Wow im old... welcome 2 the forum. Mandy xx
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    • Posted

      Thanks Mandy, means a lot to me, it really does. One can only hope i will find some friends on here, everyone seems super friendly and helpful, something i am not familar with, other than daggers in the back hah. Atari space invaders was my first game and console!, nah not old, i prefer the term expereienced!!.  Pacman was one of the few games i could never do haha!. Always killed by the ghosts -_-. Technically still meeting people in person, just in text format, at least id like to think so, or we have some very capable and clever A.I's on the web to fool us all?. Thanks again Mandy, that cheered me up a little. smile

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  • Posted

    Oh how I can relate to your post! Aside from my husband and daughter, I have nobody. They try their best to help or understand, but it's easy to spot that I've become a burden, and they're tired of hearing about everything.

    My heart goes out to you!

    (((Big Hugs)))

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  • Posted

    Hello Andy I being old and living in Italy ( not it is not that idealised place they show on tele, its hard to make any money atall and there are so many rules you can hardly move, and the tax is feroceous for those who dont work on the black and you dont get employed by Italians and if they were for you they will fleece you for what they can get. Also the house is what is called a rustico and is in fact like a large stone cottage which has not been done up even very much repaired- and no I wouldnt go back to england for all the tea in China.

    having got that our of the way not being able to speak the language atall and any expats I would be friends with are over 20 miles away. I have a family and mostly get on fairly well with my husband ( of 43 years) and three grown up children two of whom do their best to be caring and involved with us. But I suffer from lonliness, now JIm is at home because he has a heart problem which he has to rest becaue of, But I cannot be left atall or I get very doleful. I ofte think of suicide and with the family- well you know what I mean. I have six dogs and eight cats and am very glad of them, but I am very anxious and depressed a lot of the time,it varies because I am a medicated bipolar 2 which means all my better feelings are crushed in order to tame the bad ones. Meds help arent you getting any? it will steady you up if you get the right ones, sounds as though you need something badly. Dont forget it you go to your doc which you should that you have to keep changing meds to find the right ones. 

    As to the gaming, my son in law isa nerdy person if there was ever one, and he only socialises because my daughter regiments him, also my daughter in laws brother is fixated on games he has no interest in women or friends or apparently anything else. The truth I think is that if you are deeply involved in gaming you have chosen your life, that being the game. Its a very antisocial activity I know up to a point you can do it with someone else but that is not usuallt a wife, more like a male friend ( excuse the prejudice). I think that if they depression is treated you will probably find other things come together and things start happening and you will feel more content. I have a bad hip and ankle and sometimes back, and a lot of exhaustion( I had M.E once and you never quite get fully better). Try finding friends through gaming forums on line if you havent. I have had a friend on line for at least 10 years now.

     

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    • Posted

      Hi Gill,

      I am married for 30 years, retired early and have  grown up kids.

      I tried to live in Germany for a while but came back home.

      Brave of you to leave England and  settle in Italy.

      I guess you moved there after you and your husband retired.

      How often can you see your children if they live in UK?

      That must be hard. 

      Not easy if you don't speak the language. 

      Have you tried to learn it a little?

      This could give you something to do and you might

      make friends with the neighbours.  Italians are

      supposed to be warm and friendly.

      Having 6 dogs and 8 cats must give you a lot of work to do!

      I also feel lonely and depressed.

      Plus I am recovering from ankle injury and can't walk.

      I am stuck in the house.

      Fortunately I have my computer.

      I don't know what I would have done without it.

      I read a little and cook sometimes.

      I am fed up thinking what to cook after

      having cooked for so many years for the family.

      Fortunately my husband does some cooking when

      I don't

      How do you usually spend your days?

      Can you get out for a walk?

      It must be pretty where you are and the weather is

      much better than the English one.

      We live in a green and quite suburb but can't even do

      gardening this year as I can't walk.

      Anyway, hope you feel better.

      Molly

       

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  • Posted

    Sorry you are not feeling well Andy.

    It is not easy making friends I find unless you are at work or join clubs.

    Some people are lucky to have good neighbours but I don't.

    Fortunately we have our computers, make some friends online and have a chat.

    It is actually easier to talk with people online than when you meet someone I find.

    You aren't really alone if you have your wife and children.

    But your health problems must be affecting your mood.

    Maybe you can try to take some antidepressants...

    It is a pity you can't get on with your brother.

    Can't you see him alone (without his snobby wife)?

    You are fortunate you have time in a way because

    you can play ans spend quality time with your kids.

    I am sure they will love spending time with you.

    Depression is awful though. It is hard to motivate

    oneself to do anything. But for sure, you aren't alone having

    dark thoughs.  Let's hope we will get out

    of this dark cloud and feel better again...

    Best wishes,

    Molly

     

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