Posted , 4 users are following.
HI all, this is quite hard for me to talk about, but basicly, i have no friends, i have a wife and kids, but i have 0 FRIENDS. everyone i knew has turned there back on me, in my life, i have always struggled to make friends in milton keynes, and when i do finally make a good friend, they move to another area usually miles away and its virtually impossible for me to go see them due to work and family commitment or my health. I have recently thrown myself into Youtube in an aid to try and make some friends, i have been putting in a lot of work on my channel, but after 2 months of bothering, i find myself asking whats the point in doing anything?. I have 2 slipped discs, 2 trapped nerves, i have an ongoing chest condition which i have had since 2011 called Chronic costocondritis or treyze syndrome its commonly known as). I thought i found some good friends in my work at pets at home, but they all turned out to be two faced back stabbing people. I am an honest person, if someone is nice to me, i always make the effort to be nice back, crack jokes, try to be the nice guy to everyone, is it because of this that people take advantage of my good nature?. I have been dwelling on this, and i have been fighting depression since 2009, i have thought about ending my life so many times, and the only thing that stops me, is the thought of my children. I dont have these thoughts anymore, but i did have them, now i just think i can be bothered to do anything, i dont enjoy anything, im stuck at home all the time, wife goes out to school runs, shopping etc. I cant walk around properly, and its agony for me to do anything, so throwing myself into my youtube channel was supposed to be a way for me to make new friends and try and do something while i am stuck at home. Over a year now and its not getting better. I have no one to talk too about my issues, i cant take my mind of anything because i have no one to go see, my family are dis-jointed and all live up north where i cant go visit, i have a brother whos local but we dont get on, and his wife is a stuck up snob who looks down on me and my family. Bottom line is i cant take this lonelyness anymore, i love my wife and kids, but my wife and i dont share alot of interests i am a gamer , and she plays the odd game but is not passionate about it. SO i am stuck at home all the time, i have nothing else to do, so i try to talk about it, and she either dont care or is vaguely interested. I am so tired of having no one to talk too, of having no friends, i am fed up with being bored all the time, its getting harder and harder to enjoy life, and sometimes i dont even want to wake up, my youngest son my 17 month old boy, is a light in the darkness, he keeps me going, all my kids do, but i have boned with him, that is the only good thing to come out of me stuck at home, if it wasnt for his love, then i dont think i would even be here writing this. I need to be strong for them, and for me, but its so dam hard that i am reaching the end of my tether and i dont know how long i can carry on for like this. All i have ever wanted is a few good friends to hang around with, and have people i can count on, i have never had that, and it has made me doubt myself made me think there is something wrong with me. I have a few online friends, but that was through playing world of warcraft again different countrys. Why is it i cant meet anyone local or that they stay near me?, i know its a selfiish request, but just one good friend would be enough for me. Its driving me mad. Any advice, help , anything would be apprecaited. Thanks for reading. Regards. Andy.
1 like, 8 replies