Fed up feeling this way
Posted , 3 users are following.
Hi. Since last week my anxiety has been spiralling and my head hurts so much. I know I will get through this as I have been 2 years free of it which only makes it worse. I just can't get myself out of it. I hate the mornings as I wake early and lie there worrying about how I am going to feel today. By the time I am ready to get up and go to work I can barely put one foot in front of the other. I just want to stay in a dark room and sleep. Right now I am feeling quite calm with a churn in the stomach every now and again. I only eat in the evening when me and my wife are together. I have asked her to bear with me for a few weeks while I get through this - I know I will but telling myself that does nothing to ease things.
I look forward to bedtime as I can relax in the darkness and getting to sleep is a blessing - until I wake up and then it starts again. Last night was so hot and I had trouble getting to sleep and today I am very tired which is maybe why I feel calmer I don't know. It just makes me sad that this time last week I was okay and I can't get the old me back. You would think that after suffering anxiety and depression on and off for nearly 50 yearsI would be used to it but no way is this true. Still hurts and maybe hurts a little more as I get older. I have a happy thought which is quickly pushed aside by a negative one.
I know I have already posted in the depression forum but I think I should have posted here. Two years ago I gave up caffeine whilst in a pretty bad patch of anxiety. So once I got through the withdrawal and came out of the anxiety/depressive episode I remained free of both for two whole years until last week. What happened in these 2 years? I lost my father, covid lock down came along, had to look after my grieving 83 year old mother who then went in to hospital last September and has only just come out into a care home. During this time I could only zoom her and she has dementia which is getting worse. Also during lock down I stupidly went back to caffeinated drinks so is this the catalyst which sparked all the other built up stresses into full blown anxiety???
0 likes, 2 replies
jan34534 Sadat53
Posted
yes any life event that is negative can spark up the anxiety again. it can pop up anywhere and anytime.
I know exactly what you’re talking about because I’ve had it also for 50 some years on and off. throughout the years it takes different forms and different symptoms which is really annoying. I can’t begin to tell you how many weird symptoms and thoughts etc. I’ve had all those years. Just doesn’t seem fair..
I do have a counselor once a week which helps a little bit but it just seems like there’s not enough help for this. I wish they would do more research because there’s millions of us that could use a cure somehow. Sorry you are going through this and I do hope you feel better soon. Take care
lewis79954 Sadat53
Posted
sorry to read about your parents. you will get your old self back. this time round is my second experience and i just want the old me back for my partner and 2 children who have never seen me like this. i literally work (which is tough most days) and go home at the minute. we will get there eventually!