Feel broken. Can anyone relate?

Posted , 4 users are following.

I feel broken. I feel like a squeaky toy that has lost its squeak.

I was on 20mg Citalopram from January til March, and I thought that I was doing well; I was back in work after being off for a long time with physical illness then depression on top but then I asked to go up in April because my Dad had had a stroke, and it affected me (crying, staying in bed, no appetite) then he had to have a Carotid Endarterectomy because his carotid artery had become calcified, which could have caused the stroke. A gp put me up to 30mg but it's not really having an effect.

I have now been off work for about 2 1/2 weeks because I had vomiting, sickness and diarrhoea then a viral infection effecting my tonsil.

I don't know if its phyical illness that causes the depression to step up. I just want to stay in bed.

As I said, I feel broken. I don't feel right in myself. I'm having CBT next week (I hope its a session because the last two have just been questionnaires).

Can anyone relate?

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    every single time i start to feel lousy, i think its depression. and i try working on what ever is affecting my body to cause that horrible state of mind. but once i was at the doctors for my yearly check up, he asked, 'so, how are you doing?' i said that i was okay, except for the depression rearing its ugly head recently...and he takes my temperature, and finds an infection in my body. he has scolded me before, this is nothing new. he tells me i should see him right away when i start to feel lousy. he told me 'its not always depression' and' to pay more attention to my body.' i still find it hard to always think of my body first. after all, i've been fighting my depression for more than thirty years. on my own, who knows what i might come up with! i am so fortunate to see my therapist twice a week. she always lets me know if its my head or body when i dont feel like myself. i could be wrong, but depression is never supossed to give you a viral infection. you may need medication to clear that up. and...you can be depressed, and sick at the same time. i am truly familiar with that feeling. i hope your pop's recovery is quick and smooth. and you, please feel better soon. sounds like you have a double whammy.(not sure of the spelling of that one) please take care!!  laura
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  • Posted

    I know how you feel. Depression is a terrible thing. I have been in my state for a very long time and I can see no bend in the road down the corner. I just wanted to let you know that I am where your at. Most people don't understand. I do, Suemarine, believe me I do. If you would like to talk I am here. I do think because we understand each other maybe we could help each other. There must be a way out of our problems. If not what's the scence in living. Only really people who have been there know what it feels like.  In friendship to you--Steve
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    • Posted

      Thanks for that steven43881

      It is a terrible thing. I think I have had depression since 1992, when my Dad had Hodgkins Disease and I was 10 and in between going from primary school to high school but me and my family didn't get any help. I'm hoping that the CBT might help because I hate the feeling of not being my happy, optimistic, energetic self.

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  • Posted

    I can relate...truly! Last year I had depression caused by bereavement, my near death experience and a big row with my daughter. Then my depression came back 6 weeks ago, only to be worsened by pneumonia and an impacted eardrum. Got no appetite at all, crying non stop. When the pneumonia goes I hoe my mood lifts
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