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feel heartbroken and a mess

Posted , 4 users are following.

katie58360
katie58360

Hi.

My husband has walked out on me and my children. He did this because I found out he's been telling another girl he wanted to be with her too. I have been talking to this girl and we have been swapping stories. I have also told him that I will be honest with our children about what's happened. He's now said because of what I've done ( talking to the girl and my boys) he no longer wants anything to do with me.

I'm in bits, suffered depression before and I'm right back there. I cannot function, can't sleep nor eat. Not dressing and basically being a slob.

I have two children and I feel like the worst mother in the world.

I can't shut off. I feel so sad and I don't know what to do.

Please help me

0 likes, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • Bigjoe
    Bigjoe katie58360

    Posted

    Kate don't feel that.. way u gave birth to those boys I'm sure they appreciate everything u do for them because your there mom and I bet ur a good one to . But your not slob your just feeling that way because of husband rudeness .I don't know complete story but I'm Sure it his a lost since he basically said he wants nothing todo with u so let him be he will realize he Is wrong ..but take care of those boys and cheer up .with time we will all feel better

    • katie58360
      katie58360 Bigjoe

      Posted

      I found out that he was telling another woman he wanted to be with her.

      I spoke to her and we swapped story's, I also told him I wasn't going to sugar coat the truth to our boys. Because of that this is my fault ?

  • sparrow01
    sparrow01 katie58360

    Posted

    hi katie sorry to hear u are having this bad time at the moment.   you havn't mentioned about sertraline, have you started taking it?  if so, what dose and how long have u been taking it?

    • katie58360
      katie58360 sparrow01

      Posted

      I started taking it 5 days ago. How soon should I see results..

      I'm so upset and just can't shut off. I can't sleep or eat and feel like I'm going crazy

    • sparrow01
      sparrow01 katie58360

      Posted

      you didn't say what dose u are on so it's a bit hard to give proper advice,  but ok will assume you are starting on 50mg

      the startup on sertraline is for most people annoying, difficult, and can make you feel like crap with the start up side effects.

      the important thing though is, soon it will start working and you get better and can move forwards.

      you might feel better in one week, or eight weeks, it is different for everyone (myself, i had to wait 8 weeks)

      try to keep busy and dont overblow things and try to keep in mind that worry doesnt do anything to improve a situation

      ps. your husband sounds like a jerk so in the long run u will be better off, once u get past this crash u have had. there's a good chance your life will become better than before, and that's something to look forward to

    • katie58360
      katie58360 sparrow01

      Posted

      Hi sparrow.

      I'm on 100mg daily.

      Thsee side effects sound horrid.

      I just want to get past this, it's feels never ending.

    • sparrow01
      sparrow01 katie58360

      Posted

      hi, you started on 100mg?  thats a bit higher than what most people start on.  are you feeling much worse since starting on the sertraline?  if you are, it may be a good idea to start with 50mg for 2 weeks before moving up to 100mg (which should make the ride smoother and less troublesome for you, as your body will have more time to get used to  the new med you are taking)

      i know we all want to rush our recovery, but it doesnt work like that and if you try to force the meds to work faster by taking more than usual, you just end up feeling worse as it's too much for the body to deal with at once.  the body needs time to adjust, and yours will, so dont worry,  you'll be ok

  • Lois1951
    Lois1951 katie58360

    Posted

    Katie..I have been where you are and I, too, was nearly paralyzed with grief. I also had 2 young children at the time and I don't know how I cared for them. I did have a couple of good friends who were there for me. You surely should stay on an antidepressant but apart from that ,this is my advice..and it's not what you are going to want to hear....kick that bum to the curb!! No woman deserves to have to compete for a man's love ,all you are doing is inflating his already inflated ego.

    Get a therapist to help you through the process.. In the end, you will feel so much better for not giving him such power over you and will be showing your children that they do not have to except the totally unacceptable!! I know this is hard to hear but I bet if you dig deep you can show him that you don't need a person of his character! Take care and I will pray for God to give you strength. / Lois

    • katie58360
      katie58360 Lois1951

      Posted

      Thank you Lois.

      just don't know how to get through each day . The pain is all that's there

    • Lois1951
      Lois1951 katie58360

      Posted

      I know that feeling o my too well! Besides what I have already said, the only other thing I can say is that you will get through this. Reach out for help...there are SO many woman who have gone through this, though U know at this moment you feel like the only one. Find a divorce discussion group if you can, you will get support there. Try to get stronger. Praying for you. / Lois
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