Posted , 9 users are following.
In April of this year my depression was at its worse, I had never actually been diagnosed as being depressed. i was a great actress to others, as problems/ trials would happen, I tucked them away inside. but it began to affect alot of areas in my life. Within a 2year period I went through 5 tramatic life changing events as well. In April, I could not think clear and didnt have the support at home that I needed, and my husband didnt show interest in learning how to deal, cope and help with depression. As I said my thinking was only negative, and with that combined with no interaction from my husband and not much from the rest of my family. What im about to share is not a story I am proud of. I attempted suicide by overdose. Per ambulance report, upon arrival I was 4 breathes per minute, then stopped breathing, cpr was done and I was in ICU on life support for 5hrs. When I woke up, I didnt remember what happened, I was in a cloud. I had to stay under Watch for 3days at the hospital and then was admitted to a mental behavior hospital for 6 days, with intense therapy. It helped me see that I wasn't alone and showed me some coping skills. I was asked to write down who I could depend on at home (positive influences), I wrote my husbands name thinking he would really try to understand and help me feel positive about myself. I have brought books for him to read, tried talking with him (he takes every word negative) , I even tried writing letters..Nothing has changed . I was diagnosed with reoccurent Major Depression with suicide attempt. My meds help me, as well as my therapist. I realized yesterday I had been depending on my husband to help me get better for 3months and I'm back to feeling invisible, unimportant etc. So, I am hoping that I (just me) can slowly baby step to feel at least a little positive. I have to do something because now the depression is causing aches in my body. I would like to eventually go back to work, even if p/t, then f/t again. I loved being independent and being able to pay my own house note. I know my husband carries alot of responsibility, and I tell him im thankful for him. But inside, i do feel resentment for him not even willing to understand Depression. I'm just looking for suggestions from others on how to defeat depression by yourself ,along with therapy, when your family life is not a positive surrounding.
0 likes, 8 replies